Northeast: My Absurd Woman

Chapter 207 A well-fed man doesn't care about a starving man

Zhang Changyao pointed at Guo Erluzi and lectured him as if he were an elder.

"Zhang Changyao, what you're saying is like a well-fed man not knowing the hunger of a starving man."

You think everyone's like you? You think old women can't even open the door to be with you?

I'm already this age, I'm trying to think of a way to find someone who can marry me.

Look at this godforsaken place, how many of the women you marry are actually fun?

They were all lame, blind, and scraggly, with rotten eyes from crying, and their pants were wet with urine.

Taking care of a child and being heavily pregnant are considered good things; if you don't find a way to avoid being preyed upon by others in a few days.

I begged you to ask around, and what did you say? You told me to figure it out myself.

What can I do? Didn't you just want me to sleep with Hou Liping first?

While wiping his face, Guo Erluzi argued with Zhang Changyao.

"Erluzi, you're being too sharp-tongued and have misunderstood me."

I never intended for you to bully Hou Liping, so don't accuse me wrongly.

Zhang Changyao was stunned by Guo Erluzi's words and quickly looked to Hou Liping and Hou Jiu to explain.

"Guo Erluzi, you're really short-sighted. As long as you don't try to extort Hou Jiu and her sister, I'll give you a suggestion."

"I guarantee you'll marry a woman with thorns on her head." Yang Wuni, who had overheard the story, said with a smile.

He grabbed Guo Erluzi's muddy shirt sleeve with one hand and walked towards his home.

Seeing this good opportunity, Guo Erluzi didn't resist and followed Yang Wuni over the wall.

Zhang Changyao, Hou Liping, and Hou Jiu exchanged glances, completely bewildered.

Zhang Changyao took it as a temporary measure devised by Yang Wuni to save Hou Liping and her sister, and followed the two back home.

Yang Wuni prepared a basin of warm water and had Guo Erluzi wash his face and hands clean.

After Guo Erluzi washed himself clean, he sat shyly next to Liao Zhi, waiting for Yang Wuni to speak.

Yang Wuni ignored him, held Liao Zhi down, and took off his clothes and put on freshly washed ones.

"Erluzi, your aunt and I brought you back for your own good."

Everyone says Hou Jiu and Hou Liping beat you up, but you didn't really suffer any loss.

If someone really reports you to the police station, attempted rape is a serious crime.

I didn't dare mention this at his house, afraid they would find out and really sue you.

Seeing that Yang Wuni remained silent, Zhang Changyao assumed she had no other choice and had to speak up himself to persuade Guo Erluzi.

"Uncle, I didn't even pull down her pants, how is that illegal? Don't try to fool me just because I'm uneducated."

Guo Erluzi got angry as soon as he heard Zhang Changyao's words, rolled up his sleeves, and stood up.

"Zhang Changyao, why did you save such a beast? Let him go in and be educated."

Not only is he ignorant of the law, but he's also stubbornly refusing to believe what others say.

Don't even mention pulling someone's pants; you could even pin them down.

If you put your mouth to it, you can claim it's attempted rape.

They have absolutely no legal knowledge; they think that just because they slept with someone, they're yours.

"Your thing has a stamp on it? Like an inkpad, does the stamp give it legal effect?"

Liao Zhi got angry and, not one to tolerate Guo Erlu, started yelling at him.

"What do you know, you're just a cripple? You're just blindly meddling. What do you know about men's little affairs?"

Guo Erluzi glared at Liao Zhi with his eyes slanted, and retorted defiantly.

"Erluzi, don't look down on our Liao Zhi. He's not on the same level as us."

Someone like you, if Liao Zhi hadn't come to my house, I wouldn't have even seen Liao Zhi.

You're not even qualified to clean up Liao Zhi's mess.

Yang Wuni straightened Liao Zhi up, covered him with a blanket, and as she got out of bed, she retorted to Guo Erluzi.

"Auntie, I came with you not to listen to you scold me."

If you don't keep your word, I'll go to Hou Liping's house and settle the score with him.

I refuse to believe that the crime of assault is any less serious than that of attempted rape.

Guo Erluzi was still not convinced and wanted to go find Hou Liping and Hou Jiu.

"Guo Erluzi, you bastard, why are you so stubborn and unable to understand human language?"

At most, if someone assaults you, they'll just give you medical treatment and some money to cover your medical expenses.

"If Hou Liping sues you, are you really going to end up in jail?"

Zhang Changyao leaned against the door, blocking the entrance and preventing Guo Erluzi from leaving.

"Zhang Changyao, didn't you say that Hou Liping and Hou Jiu didn't know about the attempted rape?"

As long as you don't say anything and I don't say anything, those two idiots will have to treat me.

"Who knows, Hou Liping might get scared and end up with me, then I'd make a fortune!"

Guo Erluzi grinned wickedly and pulled Zhang Changyao aside, ready to leave the house.

"Zhang Changyao, don't stop him. Let him go. If he dares to extort Hou Liping, I'll tell Hou Liping to sue him."

Yang Wuni pulled Zhang Changyao away, moved aside from the doorway, and let Guo Erluzi go.

"Zhang Changyao, good advice is useless against a damned devil. Listen to Wu Ni and let him go."

People like this are a menace if left in the village; it's better to let the government educate them.

He served a few years in prison, and after he got out, he behaved himself.

Liao Zhi chimed in from the side, knowing that the more you tried to persuade Guo Erluzi, the more stubborn he would become.

"Auntie, you're not being fair. You said you'd let me marry a woman with thorns on her head."

When you get to your house, you turn on them and side with Hou Liping and Hou Jiu.

You really don't know the relationship between Hou Liping and your Zhang Changyao.

If she doesn't get married soon, you'll be waiting for someone else to sleep with your husband.

Guo Erluzi felt a sense of dread when he heard Liao Zhi's earnest words.

Desperate, he sat back down on the kang (a heated brick bed), wanting to know the meaning behind Yang Wuni's words at Hou Liping's house.

"Guo Erluzi, you keep calling Xianjun 'Old Aunt,' how could I possibly lie to you?"

If you're asking for a favor, you have to act like one. If you just talk the talk, who's going to do anything for you?

Look at Lin Zi all these years, if anyone wanted to get a branch from a tree, wouldn't they have let you know first?

I have a good idea, but I can't tell you right now.

I want to see your performance, as long as you answer my questions correctly and to my satisfaction.

I'll tell you which daughter of the carpenter Zhang is the one who can marry you.

Yang Wuni bent down to sweep the floor, playing hard to get with Guo Erluzi.

"Auntie, are you talking about Zhang the carpenter in our village?"

He has four daughters, none of whom are married. Could you tell me which one I could have?

Guo Erluzi's eyes nearly popped out as he followed Yang Wuni, asking her questions.

"Hey! I don't have enough laying hens this year. If I want to eat eggs every day, I need at least ten old hens."

I'm going to cook. You and your uncle can chat in the house.

Alas! Asking for help is difficult, climbing to heaven is difficult, but asking for help is even more difficult than climbing to heaven.

Yang Wuni muttered to herself as she picked up a broom and went to the outer room to cook.

"Uncle, is what my aunt said true? Will Zhang the carpenter really marry his daughter to me?"

According to my aunt, the Zhang carpenter's family has let something slip, and I can't let this opportunity slip by.