Were you mine?

Chapter 23 Fate

Lea's POV

I rolled down the window looking out from the car as we drove back home.

There was a traffic diversion up ahead so we had to take another route.

The road was marked with colourful decorations and lighting which I was sure would look wonderful in the evening. The sign boards pointed towards the university up ahead.

As we crossed, my eyes took in its magnificent beauty. The campus looked huge even from the outside.

I had no idea that the area boasted such a grand facility.

" You want to take a look in. The event is free for all. The entire town is invited. I took the day off. I can bring you here in the evening if you want. "

The difference between Jake and Phill was that Phill noticed minute details. He observed me while saying nothing. He would say the exact thing that my heart craved yet my lips hesitated to say, making things easier on several occasions.

While Jake was the opposite. He never understood any underlying meaning. He was impulsive but passionate. He didn't know how to express his love but would get angry at the other person for not reciprocating.

It would be safe to say Phill was any day more mature than Jake and easy to be with.

Yet my heart craved for the pains that Jake inflicted.

" Sure! Would be a welcome distraction. Let's do that. Let's come here in the evening. ”

I agreed, stretching my hands and legs.

" But now, I think I would need some rest. ” I added.

" My place is closer from here, let's go there and rest. Would be easier, don't you agree? ”

I nodded.

" I will order something to eat. By the time we reach, the food will reach as well. ”

Phill said pulling his phone out and browsing throw the delivery app. It wasn't like the cities. Delivery took a long time in that area.

I placed my hand over my bulging stomach, trying to relax as the image of my child flashed before my eyes. Technically it was his first photography. The first pictures that I had seen.

I wondered how Jake would have reacted if things were different. Would he be happy? Would he joke about it's features? Would he become emotional?

Irrelevant and useless questions started flooding my mind.

I never liked taking a day of for this particular reason. Any free space and these stupid things would come flooding in, trying to disturb my peace and sanity.

***

Jake's POV

The doctors put me on drip.

No matter what, a commitment was a commitment. I had to perform.

Given the medical emergency, I was eligible for an exception and the option to chose not to perform.

But I didn't want to disappoint all the fans who had gathered from such a far of place.

It was their love that kept people like us thriving.

After discussing with the doctor, it was agreed upon that I could take a couple of days to decide on the day for surgery.

The drip would keep the pain away and I was covered for the next couple of days.

As I lay on the hospital bed the fleeting image of what appeared to be Lea, came back once again.

Was it really Lea or was my mind playing tricks.

This wasn't the first time I was seeing her face in other things.

For example the cursed night when she had returned and seen me and Rosa in the act... in my loneliness I tried to think it over and over again.

The only thing that I remembered was seeing Lea before passing out from the alcohol.

The only conclusion that I could come to was that I did what I did with Rosa, because I had mistaken her to be Lea in my drunken daze.

I pinched between my eyebrows as my head started hurting just thinking about it again.

It reminded me of how much Lea hated me and it reminded me of my loneliness.

I pulled out my phone and began to scroll through my notes.

I was going to perform a new song in today's event.

It was a song that I wrote.

Rather, we wrote. Lea and I.

We wrote it when we went camping uphill and there was nothing more worth doing.

We had prepared it for our own graduations.

There was no better place to bring that song to life than in such an occasion.

It made me feel connected with her somehow.

The feeling that it was something that we had created together, something that we had given life to, together... made my broken heart whole again.

I still remembered the first time I touched her lips with mine.

It was a moment I would be keeping safe deep inside my heart till I went to my grave.

It was an impulsive act.

Nothing decided. Nothing confessed.

More like an accident but it felt like heaven.

I had been touching Lea all over since we were kids.

But when I touched her that night, our first night together, it literally brought down heaven on earth.

I never knew such a feeling ever existed.

I wanted to be like that with her forever but then she went back running home.

My self control flew out of the window after that. It was like I had tasted a sweet venom, a forbidden fruit and I was so addicted that I needed more, at all cost.

When she cut off regular communication, it became more and more difficult and forced me down the dark path.

No matter the allure, I should have never treaded down that path.

Look where it brought us... nowhere.

My lust and desires severed my connection with my Lea forever, instead of bringing us together, instead of bringing me peace.

I sighed as I pulled out my airpods and plugged them in my ears, blasting the song at full volume so that the voices in my head could drown, just a little.