The System is Abstract, Luckily, So Am I

Chapter 200 : You Don't Understand Joy At All

To prevent the terror from transferring back and forth, the two signed the "Lin-Bai Mutual Non-Aggression Pact" on the electric scooter. The signing of this pact signified the official establishment of good diplomatic relations between Lin and Bai.

This embodied the harmonious coexistence between man and nature.

This was not only a small step for Lin Li, but also a giant leap for mankind—backwards.

After arriving at the restaurant they had agreed upon at the homestay at noon, the girls had already arrived and saved seats.

...

A fairly standard meal.

The girls were actually already full, leaving only Lin Li and Bai Bufan to clean up the mess.

Usually, at a gathering, when the meal starts: "I want to eat this, I want to eat that," everyone happily orders food.

When it ends: "You ordered this, you finish it," everyone frantically shirks responsibility.

As a result, these three girls completely skipped the latter part. They just ordered without finishing, treating Lin Li and Bai Bufan like Zhou Baowei.

But since today's schedule was very relaxed and there was no rush, they just ate slowly.

"Bufan, eat more cucumbers. Cucumbers can improve memory."

After taking a bite of the tasteless salad, Lin Li couldn't understand why anyone would like this kind of thing. He picked out a cucumber, put it on Bai Bufan's plate, and said.

Lin Li only liked one kind of salad:

As everyone knows, salad equals vegetables plus fruit.

Potatoes are vegetables, tomatoes are fruit.

Therefore, french fries + ketchup = salad.

Lin Li learned this formula from Zhou Baowei.

"You can't deceive me just because I haven't read many books. Who told you cucumbers can improve memory?"

Bai Bufan was also full. He threw the cucumber back and questioned.

"It's true. Ten years ago, I shoved a cucumber up my deskmate's butt. Now, ten years later, he has forgotten or has a blurry memory of everything else from first grade, except for this one thing, which he remembers exceptionally clearly, without forgetting a single detail.

"He even told me he would never forget it for the rest of his life.

"Look at this effect, the memory improvement is absolutely resounding."

Lin Li leaned in close and whispered an example to support his theory.

Bai Bufan: "?"

You motherfucker.

"This method of improving memory is a bit wrong! Hearing you say that makes me even less able to eat this cucumber... Damn it, I can see it now, 'Lin Li's deskmate' is truly a dangerous profession. It's a fucking consumable."

Bai Bufan gave Lin Li the middle finger in disgust, then sighed sadly:

"But speaking of this, it reminds me of Baowei's illness. I wonder when he'll be cured."

"Oh, what illness? Tell me," Lin Li asked.

Actually, Lin Li knew better than anyone that what was about to come out of Bai Bufan's mouth would definitely not be human words. But to be able to hold back from asking at this moment would make one a saint. Lin Li was willing to play the straight man.

"He has bovinophobia. Every time I enter his rectum, he screams in fear. He's too embarrassed to see a doctor. I'm really worried about him, I don't know what to do, sigh," Bai Bufan said sadly.

Lin Li: "?"

I was mentally prepared, but not prepared enough.

"The profession of 'Bufan's roommate' might be even more dangerous than 'Lin Li's deskmate,' right?" Lin Li sighed from the bottom of his heart.

The two looked at each other, sighing that their dangerous professions were similar in purpose, and both smiled in gratification.

"What are you guys laughing at? So creepy." Ding Sihan opposite them put down her phone, looked at the two winking and smiling lecherously at each other, rubbed the goosebumps on her arms in disgust, and said.

"Naturally, it's the inappropriate content that creepy, disgusting men talk about."

Lin Li's main trait was honesty.

"Sir, I see your glass is empty. Would you like another one?" A waiter "patrolling" the restaurant saw Lin Li's water glass was empty and came over to ask.

"Why would I want two empty glasses?" Lin Li asked in confusion.

Waiter: "Eh?"

Waiter.exe failed to respond.

"Eh... then, then, then, if you don't need another glass, is there anything else I can help you with?" The waiter forced a reboot and asked politely.

"Then can you help me pay the bill?" Lin Li asked sincerely.

Waiter.exe stopped running and logged out.

Bai Bufan felt like the waiter's tray could smash into Lin Li's face at any moment. He dodged as much as possible while anticipating this scene.

Smash it, smash it, I want to see blood flow like a river.

"Alright, stop acting crazy in public. We're done eating, let's pay the bill."

Her lips touched up with a shiny, alluring lip gloss, Chen Yuying gave Lin Li, who was definitely doing it on purpose, an amused and helpless glare, then stood up and said.

The two had indeed eaten to their limits.

After all, not everyone is Zhou Baowei.

At the front desk.

"Our store currently has a lottery event in collaboration with the zoo. As long as you spend money, you can participate for free. Your spending amount is exactly enough to participate five times. Would you like to give it a try?"

After scanning the QR code to pay, the receptionist pointed to the lottery tumbler on the desk and said.

It was free, so why not participate?

Lin Li went up first and turned the tumbler. A moment later, a bead rolled out. Seeing the color of the bead, the receptionist congratulated: "Congratulations, you won first prize."

"Oh?"

Lin Li was slightly surprised.

Do I actually have such good luck?

Damn it, did I use up all my luck on this weird stuff, which is why I got infinite critical failures when drawing 'Random Quality Spirit Stones'?

I don't want this kind of thing.

"What's the first prize?" But he might as well enjoy his good luck first, so Lin Li asked.

"It's a half-price coupon. With this coupon, you can buy a ticket to the Shanting Zoo at half price." The receptionist took out a paper coupon from the drawer and handed it to Lin Li.

Instantly tasteless.

No wonder it was a free event. It was more of a promotion than an event.

Even the first prize was this garbage.

"Congratulations, you also won first prize," the receptionist congratulated Bai Bufan, who followed closely behind.

"Congratulations, you also won first prize," the receptionist congratulated Ding Sihan, who followed closely behind him.

Lin, Ding, and Bai looked at each other.

Is this event endorsed by Big Brother Jackie Chan? Wow, the drop rate is really high.

That's not right.

Lin Li narrowed his eyes and asked the receptionist: "Um, may I ask what prizes are in the prize pool?"

The receptionist laughed loudly: "From highest to lowest, the prize pool has the Super Grand Prize, the Special Prize, and other prizes."

Lin Li: "What exactly are the other prizes?"

The receptionist laughed moderately: "First prize."

Lin Li: "What about second and third prizes?"

The receptionist laughed softly: "There aren't any."

Lin Li: "..."

He felt relieved.

So it wasn't that my luck was used in the wrong place, but that my luck was performing consistently.

The person who organized this event for this store is also a genius.

Lin Li suddenly thought of NASA.

Rumor has it that the catheters NASA gave astronauts were initially labeled small, medium, and large. When asked, all the astronauts chose large, which often led to urine leakage problems, causing NASA a lot of headaches.

So NASA changed the labels to large, extra-large, and humongous.

The problem was solved.

Did the store owner come from NASA? They sure know how to comfort customers.

No wonder the first prize was just a half-price purchase opportunity. Now it was completely understandable.

"Congratulations, you won the Special Prize! It's a free ticket. With this coupon, you can redeem it on-site at the zoo ticket office. However, during holidays like now, you need to call ahead to ask if it can be used, but it should be fine."

Hearing this voice, the three first-prize winners turned to look at Chen Yuying, who had won the Special Prize.

It was Qu Wanqiu's turn.

When that small golden ball rolled out of the tumbler, Lin Li, Bai Bufan, and Ding Sihan realized that human joys and sorrows are not connected.

The Luck King had been found.

However, the receptionist explained that the so-called Super Grand Prize was also free tickets, just two of them, with the same conditions.

"So that means we now have three free tickets and three half-price tickets? As long as we pay for one full-price ticket... 30 yuan for an adult, the five of us can go for a walk? What do you say, should we go?"

When the five of them walked out the door with their coupons, the Luck King Qu Wanqiu asked.

She was already searching for this zoo on short video apps.

"Even if we want to use them, we have to call and ask if we can. We'll ask when we get back tonight.

"If we can use them, we can go take a look. But don't have too high expectations for this kind of zoo. They're still running promotions during the National Day holiday, and we haven't heard of it before. It's probably a small town zoo. Don't expect to see any particularly rare animals, but it doesn't matter if we just go for fun."

Lin Li analyzed upon hearing this.

The others thought it made sense, put the coupons away, and decided to decide later.

Leaving the store, as usual, everyone went to buy drinks.

Girls are like this: just now they were saying they couldn't eat another bite, but in reality, they have one stomach for food and a separate stomach for milk tea and coffee.

Because of the watered-down coffee incident last night, the five of them headed to the nearest Luckin Coffee.

It wasn't far, so Lin Li left his electric scooter parked in front of the original store.

"Bufan, seeing an empty mineral water bottle on the road, are you going to be an unknown good citizen, or a legendary soccer player?"

Seeing an empty bottle on the ground not far away, Lin Li turned and asked Bai Bufan.

Bai Bufan waved his hand.

—Reviewing the knowledge point: Bai Bufan waving his hand doesn't mean refusal, it means no words are needed.

Those who watched the "Public Morality Competition, starting today, officially begins" series of public service announcements on the children's channel when they were young are probably in their seventies or eighties now.

Neither Bai Bufan nor Lin Li had seen them, and they had absolutely no public morality or merit, so they kicked it very happily.

"I am a legend!" Bai Bufan said in shock after actually kicking it into the trash can with one kick.

"Dumb luck," Lin Li despised.

"I calculated all of this."

"Tsk, just a lucky guess."

"Let's see you make a lucky guess?"

"There are no living legends in Night City!" Lin Li was a bit sour and anxious, ready to kill.

(Translator's Note: A reference to Cyberpunk 2077).

"What do you guys want to drink? Let's order together," Ding Sihan turned around, interrupting the murder scene.

"I don't drink soy milk," Lin Li shook his head.

"Lin Li, the store in front of you right now is Luckin, not Yonghe King. I'm asking what coffee you want to drink," Ding Sihan rolled her eyes and dragged out her words.

(Translator's Note: Yonghe King is a fast-food chain famous for soy milk).

"Coffee is also soy milk," Lin Li looked innocent and asked back: "Isn't it?"

Ding Sihan: "..."

"Cof—"

Ding Sihan really wanted to retort, but after opening her mouth, she found she actually couldn't.

"You're awesome."

"I don't really like drinking it. I'm going to enlist in Mixue Bingcheng and buy a fruit tea," Lin Li pointed to a shop not far away and said. (Translator's Note: Mixue Bingcheng is a popular, affordable bubble tea chain).

"Okay, we have to wait a while here anyway," Ding Sihan nodded.

"I want to drink Fresh Orange Smash, I'll go too," Chen Yuying looked at the drink menu and finally made a decision.

Bai Bufan was Lin Li's running dog, no words needed.

Ding Sihan and Qu Wanqiu waited for coffee here, so Lin Li took Bai Bufan and Chen Yuying and walked to the opposite side.

"Holy crap, Renaissance. Look, Lin Li, someone has started selling the best-selling commodity of the 18th century again, and it's cheap and good quality," Bai Bufan suddenly pointed to a small shop opposite them and said.

Lin Li and Chen Yuying looked over.

On the glass door of the convenience store, there was a promotional sign: [Dabao 3 yuan] [Hair Mask 3 yuan] [Soap 3 yuan] [Black Person 3 yuan].

Chen Yuying: "..."

This means Darlie (formerly Darkie) toothpaste, right?

These two guys get exceptionally excited at times like this, really.

"Suspected of racial discrimination, I'm going to report it," Lin Li looked displeased.

Bai Bufan looked at Lin Li in surprise.

Speak human words.

"Why are Jews the same price as Black people? Soap must be sold for 5 yuan!" Lin Li said righteously.

He spoke human words.

Bai Bufan smiled in relief.

Chen Yuying smiled helplessly.

Protecting merit is everyone's responsibility.

"You two be careful," Lin Li suddenly reached out and grabbed Bai Bufan and Chen Yuying's forearms.

An oncoming, ill-mannered vehicle sped past, passing by a puddle formed by a depression in the ground near the three of them, splashing a spray of dirty water.

"This driver's mom really needs to die."

Lin Li's mouth was never clean. It was just a pity that he didn't know many cultivation spells right now, otherwise he would definitely make the driver fly.

Then he turned to look at Chen Yuying, who he had shielded behind him, belatedly let go of her hand, and asked: "Class Rep, your little white dress didn't get splashed, did it?"

"No," Chen Yuying looked down to check, smiled, and shook her head.

"That's good."

Then Lin Li turned to look at Bai Bufan, who he had shielded in front of him, and asked: "Bufan, your little black legs didn't get splashed, did they?"

"Haha."

"Hahaha."

"Hahahaha."

Looking down at the spots of mud on his calves, Bai Bufan laughed happily and sincerely.

"You fucking shielded me in front of you, what do you think?" he said word by word.

"You knew I was protecting you, and you still got hit. You're really careless," Lin Li sighed, took out the one-yuan coin Bai Bufan had rewarded him with yesterday from his pocket, and lightly tossed it onto Bai Bufan: "Clean yourself up."

Bai Bufan: "?"

This can be a boomerang too?

In the realm of being an animal, Bai Bufan considered himself well-informed.

Previously, on the path of being an animal, he and Lin Li were at most frogs at the bottom of a well looking at the moon. But hearing this today, seeing Lin Li was like a mayfly seeing the blue sky.

"Phew—"

Bai Bufan took a deep breath.

"Seriously, Sanqiao really should give me a pennant in their official capacity. After all, I just stopped a murder," he said.

Lin Li smiled.

Who is killing who in this murder?

So hard to guess.

"Alright, we're both wearing shorts, it's easy to wipe. I got splashed too, just consider it sacrificing yourself for others." Lin Li took the tissue Chen Yuying took out of her bag, gave some to Bai Bufan, and started wiping his own dirty legs, saying at the same time:

"My evaluation is that the only breathing person in that idiot driver's family is probably the tomb raider under their ancestral grave."

Bai Bufan nodded in agreement: "I'm actually quite envious of him. At least taking a selfie is a family portrait, very convenient for the New Year."

The two of them were dirty things with no manners to begin with. Being splashed like this, the family of that unknown driver was really going to suffer.

Chen Yuying, standing to the side, clicked her tongue as she listened. This was what they said when she was around. She didn't even dare to imagine what kind of foul language they would use if she wasn't there.

However, looking down at her little white dress, her steps became inexplicably lighter.

In a corner that Lin Li completely failed to notice.

Task Six.

[Use physical contact and union to make the girls feel joy]

Its progress bar increased by a large chunk.

(End of Chapter)