The System is Abstract, Luckily, So Am I

Chapter 195 : Skincare Isn't as Effective as Talking Nonsense

The rewards were pitiful, but the task was also very simple.

Lin Li looked upstairs.

It probably had nothing to do with Bai Bufan.

"Fellow disciples" wasn't limited to Bai Bufan; regardless of gender, they could all be called fellow disciples.

Besides, if those demonic beasts encountered Bai Bufan, he would probably eat them all in one bite. There was no need for him to deal with them.

Lin Li walked toward the stairs. After reaching the landing between the second and third floors, he stopped and said, "Moshi moshi."

"What's wrong?" Ding Sihan, who seemed to be the first to shower and had already finished, poked her head out a few seconds later with white skincare product smeared on her face and asked upon seeing Lin Li.

"What is that smeared on your face? It's pretty creepy in the middle of the night," Lin Li commented.

"It's just a mud mask, for skincare. If you don't take good care of your skin when you're young, you'll age very quickly later on. Girls have it tough, you know," Ding Sihan gave him the middle finger.

"Then my mom is still the best. She basically doesn't use skincare products, but she's always stayed young," Lin Li shrugged.

"Does Auntie have a secret? Can you tell me?" Ding Sihan stared at Lin Li with sparkling eyes, full of anticipation.

"Lying about her age," Lin Li replied.

Ding Sihan: "?"

Your mom.

No.

You motherfucker.

"She always claims to the outside world that she's 28. I'm almost 18. If what she says is true, even if my dad were alive, he'd be facing the firing squad soon," Lin Li added.

Ding Sihan: "..."

Ding Sihan yielded.

"Is there anything on the third floor that I shouldn't see right now? Can I come up?" Lin Li got back to business and asked.

Not walking straight up was basic respect.

Ding Sihan patted the white mud on her face, looked around, and shook her head: "No, come on up."

Only after getting permission did Lin Li walk up.

Chen Yuying was using a curling iron to set the ends of her hair. Seeing Lin Li, she waved in a confused but well-behaved manner to greet him.

There were sounds coming from the bathroom; Qu Wanqiu was probably showering.

Lin Li went to the bathroom door first: "Little Qiuqiu, I'm outside the door right now. If you're going to come out later, tell me in advance so I can get lost. I don't want to take responsibility for you."

"Are you crazy?! Who wants you to take responsibility?!" The sound of the showerhead inside temporarily stopped. After hearing clearly, Qu Wanqiu scolded with a laugh.

"I don't need to take responsibility? Then open the door. I've already prepared my lecherous gaze. Just listening to the sound of you showering is enough for me to eat three bowls of rice." Lin Li didn't hold back.

"Hahahahahaha drop dead!!"

Not only Qu Wanqiu, but Chen Yuying and Ding Sihan also laughed out loud after hearing this description.

"I've got goosebumps. Lin Li, how can you say such things? It doesn't sound like you're acting." Ding Sihan even tilted her head up to prevent the mud mask from cracking and falling off due to her face trembling, laughing uncomfortably.

This is Azusagawa Sakuta's classic line. Lin Li wouldn't dare take credit for it. 

(Translator's Note: A reference to the anime Rascal Does Not Dream of Bunny Girl Senpai).

After resolving the hidden danger of Qu Wanqiu, Lin Li started searching around the third floor.

"So what did you come up here for, Lin Li? It can't just be... to work up an appetite, right?" Chen Yuying stopped what she was doing and asked with a smile.

Lin Li said with a serious and earnest face: "I'm hunting down a mosquito. It flew up here, and I must eliminate it with my own hands."

Lin Li actually didn't know if it was a mosquito. The system said "demons," so cockroaches and flies probably counted too, but a mosquito was the most suitable excuse.

Chen Yuying, Ding Sihan: "..."

"Then... good luck?" Chen Yuying's expression was strange.

Searching like a headless fly would probably be very difficult, but Lin Li was a cultivator. Ear Divine Ability, Ear of the Root, activate!

Everything around him instantly became clear.

Lin Li heard it!

He suddenly looked up and said in shock: "Ding Sihan, you said I'm steadily having an episode!"

Ding Sihan: "?"

"You could hear that?"

Ding Sihan looked at Lin Li in surprise. Her sigh just now was out of helplessness, and she said it very quietly.

"Hehe, I can hear in all directions. Right now, Qu Wanqiu is still singing 'I love taking a bath, my body is great, awoo awoo awoo,'" Lin Li laughed triumphantly.

Then he lightly slapped himself. He almost forgot his main business again.

He held his breath and concentrated again, starting to listen.

Buzz—

It really was a mosquito, over by the window. After hearing the sound, Lin Li instantly rushed over and swiped his hand.

The mosquito dodged Lin Li's palm.

But it couldn't dodge the electric arc that could now extend nearly ten centimeters.

[Destroy three demons attempting to harm your fellow disciples at this moment (1/3)].

"Did you hit it?" Ding Sihan leaned over curiously to look.

"Missed, it got away," Lin Li shook his head. There were still two more to deal with, he had to stall.

"Useless thing."

Lin Li: "..."

Lin Li was just about to return to the middle of the third floor to start listening in all directions again when he was suddenly pulled over by Ding Sihan.

Ding Sihan hid behind Lin Li, pointing forward, her voice filled with disgust: "Lin Li, there's a bug, deal with it. We still need to close the windows, there are too many bugs in places like this."

Lin Li followed her gaze and saw two thin antennae swaying slightly in the corner.

"How dare you assume it's a bug? What if it's Lu Bu or a little loli with twin tails?" Lin Li frowned.

"You really are steadily having an episode." This time Ding Sihan said it very loudly, no Ear Divine Ability needed.

"Ding Sihan, do you have a newspaper?" Lin Li asked.

"What do you need a newspaper for? Who reads newspapers these days? Use your phone," Ding Sihan was confused and handed over her unlocked phone. Newspaper offices were almost closing down these days, who still read newspapers?

"That works too, but it's my first time using a phone to hit a bug, I'm actually a bit nervous." Lin Li took the phone and started taking deep breaths.

Ding Sihan: "?"

Lin Li's interruption almost made her forget what he was doing!

"Wait! Wait! Don't! I'll find something for you!" Ding Sihan violently snatched the phone back from Lin Li's hand. Finally, she found a hard cardboard takeout bag, rolled it into a stick, and handed it to Lin Li: "Use this to hit it."

Lin Li moved the clutter aside. It wasn't a cockroach, but a house centipede.

Quite cute. This kind of bug leaves after eating people, nothing to be afraid of.

Although house centipedes eat cockroaches, Lin Li showed no mercy.

Not only that, after moving the clutter, Lin Li also sharp-eyedly spotted a small spider.

Smack!!

[Destroy three demons attempting to harm your fellow disciples at this moment (2/3)]

[Destroy three demons attempting to harm your fellow disciples at this moment (3/3)]

Thanks, buy one get one free. You bugs are quite nice.

[Task Three has been completed]

[Do you wish to use the "Random Reward Doubling Card (3/3)"?]

[You have chosen to forfeit.]

[You have received rewards: Physique Improvement: Spiritual Energy Absorption Speed increased by 100%; System Currency 50.]

There was naturally nothing worth doubling in this task's rewards.

[Swift movements, skilled methods! In just a quarter of an hour, the invading demons have all lost their lives, and your fellow disciples cast admiring glances at you!

You suddenly realize that the surroundings are actually a demon's lair, teeming with demons and endless invasions.

The path of slaying demons and eradicating evil does not stop here!]

[Time-Limited Task Triggered!]

[Task Three: Within twelve shichen, destroy thirty demons attempting to harm your fellow disciples.]

[Rewards: Title: Breath of the Demon; Physique Improvement: Spiritual Energy Absorption Speed increased by 100%; System Currency  50.]

[Breath of the Demon: When equipped, greatly enhances perception of surrounding demons, reduces their malice towards you, and even makes them view you as a companion.]

It was the same old trick as the mosquito-swatting task back then. A simple task was followed by a more troublesome one, with the quantity multiplied by ten.

However, Lin Li wandered around the third floor several times but didn't see or hear a single one.

Qu Wanqiu had also finished showering and come out. Knowing Lin Li was outside, she came out fully dressed, without any exposure.

And Lin Li, whose excess stamina had already been drained by the "Death-Substituting Jade-Faced Buddha," was about to collapse from exhaustion due to the Ear Divine Ability.

Perhaps the previous task said three because there were indeed only those three on the third floor, and the task description also included "at this moment."

Now that Ding Sihan had specifically closed the doors and windows and plugged in the mosquito repellent, there were no new demons invading, so he really couldn't find any more.

Unless he opened the doors and windows.

Wait.

Thinking of this, Lin Li smiled.

He knew how to complete this task.

Entrapment would do the trick.

But tormenting the girls was too much. Fortunately, he brought Bai Bufan.

Bufan, it's so good to have you.

"It's all cleaned up, you guys can sleep peacefully now. I'm going downstairs," having found a solution, Lin Li said. "Class Rep, go to sleep early, we have to learn how to ride a bike tomorrow morning. Xiao Ding, Xiao Qu, you two also rest in peace early."

"We'll try," Chen Yuying smiled and waved.

Ding Sihan, Qu Wanqiu: "?"

Something seems wrong there.

When he returned to the second floor, Bai Bufan had already finished washing and was blow-drying his hair.

After his hair was dry, Bai Bufan put down the hairdryer, pinched his chin, admired himself in the mirror, and kept combing his hair with the homestay's comb.

"Come on, handsome, give me a kiss."

"Bai Bufan, you're too charming."

"Wow, so handsome~"

Lin Li: "..."

His footsteps were covered by the sound of the hairdryer, so he wasn't noticed.

But it was understandable.

Before girls take off their makeup, and after boys take a shower, they both consider themselves to be at the peak of their attractiveness.

"Ahem," Lin Li made a sound.

"Holy fuck Lin Li when did you get here you motherfucker have you no manners sneaking around without saying a word are you even human." Bai Bufan turned his head, clearly triggered.

Lin Li smiled: "I came when you were french kissing yourself."

Hearing this, Bai Bufan also smiled, took the hairdryer cord, wrapped it around his neck, and started pulling on both sides.

Lin Li immediately stepped forward to stop him, his voice full of concern: "Don't do that, it's bad for the hairdryer."

Bai Bufan: "..."

"We're bros, what's there to be embarrassed about? It's not like the girls saw it. Don't worry, although I just recorded a video, I won't post it in the group," Lin Li stepped forward, put his arm around Bai Bufan's shoulder, and dragged him away.

Bai Bufan's eyes widened. He snatched Lin Li's phone, checked it, and only breathed a sigh of relief when he found nothing of the sort.

"So why did we come to the balcony?" When Bai Bufan returned the phone to Lin Li, he realized he had already been brought to the balcony by Lin Li. Changing into the balcony slippers and listening to the whirring of the air conditioner's outdoor unit, he asked in confusion.

"Suddenly I don't feel like sleeping that much. I want to chat with my best bro," Lin Li leaned against the balcony railing and said gently.

Bai Bufan turned and walked away.

Fortunately, Lin Li was quick and grabbed Bai Bufan.

"Why are you leaving?"

"No, Lin Li, are you crazy?"

"Is chatting crazy? Bai Bufan, our relationship has really faded!" Lin Li got angry.

"Chatting is fine, let's chat. But let's go chat in the room. Chatting on the balcony in this weather at this hour, if that's not crazy, what is?" Bai Bufan responded with a face full of confusion.

"Don't you think midsummer, the evening breeze, cicadas chirping, and a starry sky make for a very aesthetic scene? Perhaps tonight will be a scene you recall many years from now, when you're destitute in winter, selling matches, and after finding no buyers, you light a match to keep warm?"

Lin Li argued strongly.

"Let's not even get into why my ending many years from now is being destitute and selling matches on the street. Let's first analyze the aesthetic elements you mentioned."

Bai Bufan laughed in anger and pointed at the sky: "Starry sky? It's cloudy. Let alone a starry sky, you can't even see the moon."

He pointed at the air conditioner's outdoor unit: "Evening breeze? I only feel artificial warm air."

Finally, he pointed at the hillside outside the balcony: "Cicadas chirping? Bro, it's October, the cicadas are all dead. I only hear mosquitoes buzzing!"

"What the fucking [Bleep—] is aesthetic about this?" In conclusion, Bai Bufan reached his verdict.

Lin Li scratched his head.

He was indeed a bit speechless.

"Wait, you said there are mosquitoes buzzing?"

"Yeah, look, there's one right here—"

*Smack!*

Lin Li moved swiftly, instantly dealing with a mosquito flying next to Bai Bufan.

[Within twelve shichen, destroy thirty demons attempting to harm your fellow disciples (1/30)]

"See that? See that?!" Although he didn't know why Lin Li was so excited, Bai Bufan's momentum grew stronger. "This is the result of us staying outside: feeding the mosquitoes. Is this what you want to see?! Huh? Tell me loudly, Lin Li!"

"It really is, bro, it really is." Lin Li smiled with gratification.

Bai Bufan: "?"

*(End of Chapter)