novelraw Chapter 194 : Bai Bufan Looks Like an Experienced Ladybug
Chapter 194 : Bai Bufan Looks Like an Experienced Ladybug
The night outside the homestay was thick, with the occasional croak of a frog coming from the mountain behind.
Inside the homestay.
"Bai! Bu! Fan! Do you know why spiders only have eight legs? Because nine legs (jiu zu) is a bit too much! If you dare to offend me like this again, I will execute your nine generations (jiu zu)! Get off me!"
*(Translator's Note: A pun on "jiu zu" which can mean nine legs or nine generations of a family).*
Lin Li pounded on Bai Bufan, who was sitting on him with his back turned, laughing, but laughing tragically.
"Stop tickling, sisters! I have an ingrown toenail! And onychomycosis! Plantar acne! I even have athlete's foot!"
Bai Bufan suddenly turned his head and made eye contact with Lin Li.
His gaze was mischievous, but he didn't speak, after all, there were girls present.
Lin Li: "?"
Wait.
"Fuck." Lin Li realized what he meant and cursed with a laugh, but also because there were girls present, he could only respond in a low voice: "Just kidding, I don't want to."
Satisfied, Bai Bufan turned back and continued his work.
"Ah ah!! Stop tickling! I was wrong! Where's Uncle Chen? Save me! Come roar at them! What I love is my life!" Lin Li also continued his "work."
"Which fucking Uncle Chen are you talking about?" Bai Bufan scolded with a laugh.
At this moment.
Bai Bufan was sitting on Lin Li, pinning down his legs, while Chen, Ding, and Qu each held a feather, plucking the strings of Lin Li's feet.
"If you bet, you must accept your loss. You made the rules yourself, don't even think about escaping!" Bai Bufan was the happiest.
Rules are dead, and Lin Li could be too.
"Ah ha uh uh—" Lin Li's laughter gradually became weak and intermittent. "It tickles so much, my lower half is tickling to death..."
"Don't say weird things," Chen Yuying's amused voice came over.
"Oh."
*A cultivator can't fight one against four either. This is Lin Li's realization, full of blood and tears.*
*Monopoly is a capitalist's game, not suitable for me. If I had known, we would have played Legends of the Three Kingdoms. I want to protect Dabao's smile.*
*A whole night, a whole night of being chased and intercepted by this group of people, and I didn't win a single game.*
*But when it came to the punishment segment, my name was on every roll.*
*No wonder they all agreed so readily and decisively. They were just planning to watch me dig my own grave.*
However, as a cultivator, it was impossible for Bai Bufan alone to truly pin Lin Li down. Lin Li was also worried that if he really thrashed around, he might kick the girls, so his lower half didn't make any other movements besides reflexively pulling back due to the tickling.
*Beep beep beep, beep beep beep.*
The three-minute alarm rang, and everyone finally stopped, still wanting more.
Lin Li lay paralyzed on the ground, his clothes disheveled, his hair messy, looking like a young man from a good family who had been ravaged.
Even though he was the one who had been ravaged, Lin Li felt like he was the one who had entered Sage Mode.
"The world kisses me with pain, but I didn't agree to it. Isn't this sexual harassment?" he asked.
No one paid attention to Lin Li's self-reflection.
Actually, when they started punishing him, Lin Li had considered whether their enjoyment of torturing him by tickling his feet could advance the task.
But they kept using feathers as a medium, showing considerable disgust for Lin Li's jade feet. Even when Lin Li said it was fine and even invited them, they just treated it as Lin Li acting crazy as usual.
Bai Bufan got off Lin Li, pulled a one-yuan bill out of his pocket, threw it onto Lin Li, put two fingers to his mouth pretending to smoke a cigarette, and said indifferently: "Clean yourself up."
Lin Li: "?"
*No?*
*You motherfucker.*
*What a ruthless humiliation.*
"Alrighty, thanks bro." Lin Li first rubbed the one-yuan bill on his clothes, even blew on it, before putting it in his pocket. He struggled to get up and sat back in his seat.
"Want to play again, Lin Li?" Ding Sihan tapped the table and said with a smile.
"No more, no more," Lin Li smiled in relief and waved his hand. "If you guys want to play, go ahead. I have to wake up early tomorrow morning to exercise. It's almost eleven o'clock now, I need to go wash up and get ready for bed."
"Huh? You're going to exercise like that even during the holiday, and go to sleep so early?" Ding Sihan was a bit surprised upon hearing this, then shrugged: "If you're not playing, then let's not play. What's the point if there's no one to torture."
Lin Li: "..."
*Ding Sihan, your words are so fucking hurtful.*
"Then let's call it a night," Chen Yuying clapped her hands together lightly and said. "We still have to take off our makeup and do our skincare routines, and we haven't unpacked our luggage in the room yet."
Reaching an agreement, the five of them stood up, tidied up the board game and put it back in its place, and the girls went up to the third floor.
Lin Li and Bai Bufan also returned to the second floor first.
"Then I'm going to the esports room to play games for a while. Are you coming, Lin Li?" Bai Bufan asked.
Making Bai Bufan lie down and sleep this early was indeed unreasonable.
"Mhm, I won't go," Lin Li nodded.
"Alright, then you should sleep early. You take a shower first," Bai Bufan said.
"Alright."
Taking a shower didn't take much time. To prevent any possible exposure, Lin Li still dressed neatly before coming out of the bathroom.
"I could hear your laughter from the stairwell. What are you laughing at?" Returning to the second floor, Lin Li looked at Bai Bufan rolling on his floor mattress and asked curiously.
"I saw a fresh and good hellish joke!"
"Tell me." Lin Li immediately entered learning mode.
*How can I be good at being abstract if I don't work hard?*
"Didn't wildfires break out in Los Angeles recently? I saw someone comment—
"'The US is truly the US, so generous. To urge the Boss to practice basketball, they burned Los Angeles at 4 AM for him. On the point of burning joss paper, we also need to reflect. Oh, East Asia, walk a little slower, wait for your people!'"
*(Translator's Note: A dark joke referencing Kobe Bryant's famous "Have you seen Los Angeles at 4 AM?" quote, his death in a helicopter crash, and the Chinese custom of burning paper offerings for the dead).*
So there was one more person rolling on the floor mattress.
It was too hellish, good thing Lin Li had absolutely no morals.
"You go wash up," Lin Li gestured to Bai Bufan after finishing laughing.
"OK."
"Why did you bring your own body wash? There's some in the bathroom," Lin Li asked in confusion when he saw Bai Bufan rummaging through his suitcase and pulling out not only a change of clothes but also a small packet of body wash.
"It's not body wash, it's shampoo. I'm used to washing my hair with this brand. Last time during the autumn outing, I used the one in the hotel, and my head was super itchy afterward. I'm not used to it," Bai Bufan explained.
Some people indeed experience a sudden surge in dandruff or itchiness when they change shampoos.
"What brand?" Lin Li asked.
"Bawang."
Lin Li: "..."
"Quite niche," Lin Li commented.
"This isn't niche. Big Brother Jackie Chan wouldn't lie to me. After washing with this, your hair goes *duang duang*," Bai Bufan retorted.
*(Translator's Note: A reference to a famous, somewhat memed commercial for Bawang shampoo featuring Jackie Chan).*
"I have research to back this up. I once wanted to study what shampoo men use when they shower. I observed 100 men and conducted random interviews. 98 of them answered, 'How the fuck did you get in here?' I've never heard of this Bawang of yours even once."
Lin Li wagged his index finger, presenting his supporting theory.
Bai Bufan: "..."
"What did the other two guys answer?" But he was more curious about this now.
"'Bro, I dropped my soap, can you pick it up for me?'"
Bai Bufan: "Fuck."
"So did you pick it up?"
"How could I? Oh right, Bufan, do you need soap for your shower? I have a bit too much at home, I can't use it all. You can help me use some."
"No thanks," Bai Bufan left, satisfied.
"Remember to knock when you come back later. I just started playing a new game and I'm about to make my first top-up six times," Lin Li said to Bai Bufan's back.
Bai Bufan didn't look back, responding with a middle finger.
*Real men never look back at idiots.*
After the sound of footsteps going downstairs gradually faded away, Lin Li opened his backpack again and took out the "Spirit Spring" wrapped in plastic wrap.
Just like unfinished spirit stones could be returned to the [Inventory], Lin Li could also return the unexhausted "Spirit Spring" at any time. It was just that while in the [Inventory], it was essentially frozen in time and wouldn't produce any spiritual energy or liquid.
Leaving it at home was uncontrollable and might even be a waste, so Lin Li definitely chose to bring it along.
As for the "Duck Blood Flask," it had already recovered to its original state and was in the [Inventory]. Lin Li calculated that the cooldown was about a week, provided there was duck blood.
When he arrived at the homestay, the first thing he did was manifest the "Spirit Spring," throw in a few empty spirit stone shells, wrap it simply with plastic wrap, and put it in his backpack.
Carrying empty spirit stone shells was also very simple.
The system didn't accept spirit stones without spiritual energy, but he just needed to let each empty shell sit at the bottom of the "Spirit Spring" for two or three minutes. This allowed the empty shell to absorb a tiny bit of spiritual energy, so it was no longer an "empty shell." Completing the change from 0 to 0.01 would make the system judge it as still useful, and then it could be returned to the [Inventory].
Lin Li's [Inventory] didn't have a slot limit.
After completing this swap, Lin Li manifested the "Death-Substituting Jade-Faced Buddha."
A thumb-sized jade plaque of a Buddha statue.
Refining it was unimaginably simple. Unlike the "Duck Blood Flask," which took several low-grade spirit stones to refine, the "Death-Substituting Jade-Faced Buddha" was refined almost the instant Lin Li attempted it.
The connection was established, and more information about this magical treasure entered his mind.
The protection after triggering was indeed invincible. The 3-60s duration was naturally determined by the attack encountered during protection; the stronger the attack, the shorter the duration.
After refining it, he could continue to "refine" it, making it devour his physical stamina and mental energy. The purpose of doing this was that when the magical treasure shattered, it would feed back all of that to him at that moment, used to heal injuries and restore stamina.
*This isn't Sage's Sanctuary, this is Guardian Angel!*
*(Translator's Note: Another item in Honor of Kings that revives the player).*
*It even comes with healing!*
A few minutes later, Lin Li looked slightly exhausted.
The devouring wasn't a 1:1 ratio. It would be good if even a tenth of what was absorbed was effective. The devouring process required the assistance of spirit stones. It seemed this was the main consumer of spirit stones for this magical treasure.
But it wasn't a big problem. The spirit stone shortage had been barely resolved, and he had excess physical stamina and mental energy every day. He could just take his time.
Getting tired even helped him sleep.
After doing all this and making sure he hadn't missed anything, Lin Li lay down.
[During the squad's experiential learning, demons covet them and actually attempt to attack under the cover of night. As the person with the deepest resume in slaying demons and eradicating evil, you naturally must step forward and destroy them!]
[Task Triggered!]
[Task Three: Destroy three demons attempting to harm your fellow disciples at this moment.]
[Rewards: Physique Improvement: Spiritual Energy Absorption Speed increased by 100%; System Currency 50.]
Lin Li stood at attention.
*(End of Chapter)*