The System is Abstract, Luckily, So Am I

Chapter 193 : Next, It's Your Turn!

There were only four people in the room: Lin, Bai, Ding, and Qu. Outside the room, a lecture was taking place.

However, it wasn't Chen Zhongping lecturing Chen Yuying. Judging from the momentum of the voices, it sounded more like Chen Yuying was lecturing Chen Zhongping.

It seemed Chen Zhongping's status at home wasn't very high.

Sure enough, a few minutes later, only Chen Yuying returned, still carrying a trace of lingering anger on her face.

"My dad checked the weather forecast and saw it might still rain, so he brought us umbrellas for tonight. He has a spare key to the homestay, so he just opened the door directly.

"Actually, he sent me a message just now saying he was at the door, but I didn't notice. Plus, he really wanted to sneak a peek at what we were doing, so he just came right in. He's gone back now, and he won't do this again next time. He'll definitely let us know first. Sorry about that, guys, hope it didn't scare you."

Chen Yuying stuck her tongue out and apologized.

"No big deal, totally understandable. I feel like I just got my life back," Lin Li nodded, very understanding.

Lin Li really almost committed seppuku to apologize just now. It was a rare blessing that Chen Zhongping only glared at him a few extra times and didn't seek him out for a "private chat."

Naturally, the others wouldn't say anything about this either.

Chen Yuying let out a long breath.

"Also," Chen Yuying continued, a sly glint in her eyes, "the five minutes are up."

Lin Li: "?"

"That doesn't make sense! Shouldn't it have been paused?"

"It wasn't paused. You just didn't tickle me yourself. Anyway, the five minutes are up, you can't tickle me anymore."

"Huh? Class Rep, do you hear what you're saying? How was I supposed to tickle you? While you and your dad were talking, was I supposed to go over, squat on the ground, and tickle the soles of your feet?

"If Uncle saw that scene and managed to hold back from kicking me, I'd admire him!" Lin Li's eyes widened.

I'd be kicked like a ball, right?

If I became a soccer ball, Chen Zhongping might actually surpass the national team.

Perhaps Lin Li's description was very vivid, as everyone laughed.

"That sounds so satisfying, I want to kick too." Especially Bai Bufan, after imagining the scene, he couldn't wait to get on the field himself.

"I don't care, over is over," Chen Yuying crossed her arms in front of her chest and said firmly.

"Damn it, playing dirty, huh." Lin Li shook his head sorrowfully, but didn't force it.

He had indeed tickled her for a few minutes just now, but the progress bar for this task was still at least sixty or seventy percent away from completion. So even if he used up the remaining time, he definitely wouldn't be able to finish it.

Besides, after that little interlude, Chen Yuying probably really didn't want to be tickled anymore.

As for the rest, he'd figure out a way later.

Lin Li stood up and looked at the mess on the dining table and in the kitchen. It was time to clean up.

They didn't know how many days they would be staying yet, and there wouldn't be an auntie coming to clean every day, so they had to rely on themselves to tidy up.

"What are we doing tomorrow? Since we're in Shanting... Oh right, Ding Sihan, do you like playing in the water?" Lin Li said to Ding Sihan.

"Playing in the water? Sure."

Although the beach in Shanting wasn't like the sandy beaches of resort hotels, it was still fine to go for a walk and pick up small seashells, so Ding Sihan nodded.

"OK, then you're assigned to wash the dishes," Lin Li snapped his fingers.

Ding Sihan: "..."

You motherfucker.

So this was the dagger Lin Li hid in the map of Yan! He wasn't curious about tomorrow's itinerary at all; he just wanted to wrap this dumpling in vinegar! 

(Translator's Note: A reference to Jing Ke's assassination attempt on Qin Shi Huang, hiding a dagger in a map. The "dumpling in vinegar" refers to doing something elaborate just for a small, specific purpose).

"That's not the water I want to play in..." Ding Sihan said resentfully.

"Alright, let's all clean up together," Chen Yuying stood up with a smile and said.

The girls washed the dishes, while Lin Li and Bai Bufan were responsible for cleaning the cookware, especially Lin Li's non-stick pan that had turned black.

"What did you use to scrub it? How is it so clean?" Bai Bufan asked in confusion after comparing his and Lin Li's results.

"Force," Lin Li looked at Bai Bufan like he was an idiot.

Bai Bufan: "..."

Can't argue with that, it's true.

...

After cleaning up, the five of them gathered around the dining table again to discuss tomorrow's plans.

They wouldn't aim to wake up early tomorrow morning. If they wanted to sleep in, they would sleep in. Whether to eat breakfast or not was up to them.

As long as they woke up before going out for lunch, it was fine.

Chen Yuying probably wouldn't wake up too late, so Lin Li planned to use the morning time to teach her how to ride a bike. As for where the bike would come from, Lin Li had seen an intact bicycle in the storage room on the basement level. He just needed to wash it tomorrow morning and it would be ready to use.

As for the afternoon, perhaps Lin Li's earlier suggestion had some effect, as everyone agreed to go check out the beach in Shanting.

"Shall we start the board game segment?" After roughly planning tomorrow, Lin Li suggested.

Although they ate dinner slowly, it was only 7:00 PM now. It was impossible for everyone to go back to sleep right now.

"Sure." The others naturally had no objections.

There were many types of board games in the homestay, but in the end, they chose Monopoly, which was suitable for both boys and girls.

Sorry, Legends of the Three Kingdoms, the general environment doesn't allow me to choose you. Standing in front of the board game shelf, Lin Li sincerely apologized to Legends of the Three Kingdoms.

Can't steam (zheng) it anymore.

(Translator's Note: A pun on "zheng" which means steam, but also refers to the "Zheng" faction in the game).

"OK, let's decide first, what's the punishment for losing?" Lin Li said while opening Monopoly and spreading the map on the dining table.

"I'll say it first. If I become the Monopoly winner, I want to tickle the feet of you three!" Lin Li was the first to point at the three girls opposite him.

Chen Yuying didn't react much, but Ding Sihan and Qu Wanqiu pointed at themselves in surprise: "Us too?"

"Why do we have to be tickled too?" They were genuinely confused.

"Because Little Ding Ding and Little Qiuqiu, I want to see you smile. When you smile, my whole world brightens up." Lin Li suddenly spoke seriously, his voice full of emotion. "Your smiles are 60-watt light bulbs."

Chen Yuying closed her eyes helplessly, as if she couldn't bear to look.

Ding Sihan, Qu Wanqiu: "..."

Fuck.

"Why is it that when it comes to us, it's not the sun, just 60-watt light bulbs?" After taking a deep breath, Ding Sihan seemed to have missed the point of her questioning.

Lin Li made a lot of sense: "Hou Yi would get angry, Kuafu would get lost. You shouldn't be so selfish."

(Translator's Note: References to Chinese mythology. Hou Yi shot down nine suns, and Kuafu chased the sun).

Ding Sihan: "..."

Makes a little sense, but not much.

"Why only tickle their feet? What about me?" Bai Bufan asked.

"I will order you to do a hundred squats," Lin Li replied.

Bai Bufan: "?"

Why does it change when it gets to me?

"Don't you want to see me smile anymore? I don't need to be the sun, and I don't need to consume as much electricity as thirty watts. Six watts is enough for me." Bai Bufan was very disappointed, but tried to persuade Lin Li to change his mind.

"When you smile, my world turns into Mini World. So I don't want to see you smile at all, I just want to see you die." Lin Li just sneered.

(Translator's Note: Mini World is a sandbox game often compared unfavorably to Minecraft).

Bai Bufan could only shake his head and sigh.

However, to Lin Li's surprise, his proposal was actually approved.

...

"I'm sorry, sir, I don't know what to do. I really have no way to pay the rent this time."

"Oh, beautiful lady, then have you considered another way to pay?"

"But I... still have a husband."

"I won't let him know."

"Then... alright." Lin Li reached out a trembling hand, unbuttoned his shirt, his face showing a resolute acceptance of his fate.

"That's right, that's how it should be." Bai Bufan sneered and unbuckled his belt.

It looked like a crowd-pleasing plot was about to unfold.

"Are you two hahaha crazy? Hahaha who, who told you to play Monopoly like this hahaha—"

The three girls opposite them were already laughing like crazy.

Ding Sihan slapped the table hard, Qu Wanqiu slapped the floor, and Chen Yuying slapped Lin Li's hand, which was secretly reaching toward the bank to steal money in the chaos.

"No stealing money." Chen Yuying protected the bank, glaring at Lin Li with a smile.

"Ah, damn it! What stealing money! Borrowing money! I'm borrowing money, I'm borrowing another million from the bank!" His trick having failed, Lin Li said dejectedly.

"Lin Li, you've already borrowed seven million. At ten million, you'll go bankrupt and be out of the game," Ding Sihan said with a grin.

"Damn it, no wonder you agreed so readily and decisively. You were planning to scheme against me all along." Lin Li took a million from the bank, then gave the toll fee for this turn to Bai Bufan.

Among the five people present, he was the only one with negative assets.

Everyone was targeting him.

It was one thing for the three girls to target him, but even Bai Bufan joined their camp, using all his trap cards on him.

I just wanted Bai Bufan to die, but he wants me to lose this game!

Lin Li looked down at the soles of his feet, feeling utterly miserable.

Sorry, bro, you might have to suffer tonight.

It's also Wu Min's fault. If she had paid the three million for me, I might have been able to hold on for a few more rounds.

It was Bai Bufan's turn to move again. Lin Li only owned two properties on the board, so this move had nothing to do with him again.

Bai Bufan paid Qu Wanqiu.

Pfft—

Lin Li, who was drinking water, almost choked to death on the sound of the fart, and then started laughing without any concealment.

And the only person Lin Li would laugh at without any regard for the farter's dignity was, naturally, Bai Bufan.

The three girls opposite them obviously respected Bai Bufan very much. Their mouths just twitched, but they didn't laugh.

Fortunately, as long as you don't have an upset stomach, loud farts usually don't smell too bad.

Bai Bufan, who was already thin-skinned in front of girls, turned completely red in the face. After hurriedly paying the money, he looked at Lin Li: "Your turn."

Lin Li didn't pick up the dice. He took a deep breath and brewed for a long time.

Then he said apologetically to Bai Bufan:

"I'm sorry, I can't squeeze one out."

Bai Bufan: "?"

"Pfft—" This try-not-to-laugh challenge was too difficult. Someone opposite them couldn't hold it in anymore.

Lin Li was just too much of a troll.

"Fuck! Lin Li! Go to hell!" Bai Bufan was a beat slow, then jumped up in anger and started punching and kicking Lin Li. Bang, bang, bang, bang. He beat Lin Li so hard he scrambled away holding his head.

"Everyone tacitly agreed to let this pass! And you bring it up like this?!"

"Hahahaha—" The three girls opposite them, who were already on the verge of holding back their laughter, completely lost it.

Bai Bufan beat him heartily.

The three girls laughed until they shook.

Only Lin Li looked aggrieved: "But I really couldn't squeeze one out..."

Alas, you only regret having too few farts when you need them. Tragic.

(End of Chapter)