novelraw Chapter 897: Thinking can't keep up with ability (thanks to zha
Chapter 897: Thinking can't keep up with ability (thanks to zha
Chapter 897 Thinking can’t keep up with ability (thanks to zhangxiaozhu for the reward + more)
After a brief understanding of the situation, Xiaoqian also had a simple understanding of the experience of this Zhuzisao.
Xiaoqian gave her a simple test and found that she was emotionally depressed due to lack of parental love in her childhood, and later became depressed due to postpartum depression.
The current sister-in-law Zhuzi is in a very dangerous state.
She has maternal love for her daughter in her heart, but at the same time she will also involuntarily hate this clingy child. This child has exhausted all of her, but it makes her helpless. She loves her daughter because of true love, and would rather resist the pressure of her husband’s divorce. But when she hates children, she really hates them, especially when they cry and quarrel with her husband.
She paid too much for this child, but her efforts seemed to be unrewarded. Sometimes she would involuntarily wonder, if she hadn't had this child, would she not have such a worrying life?
This kind of feeling only appeared when she was arguing with her husband and the child was overly dependent on her. After the hatred of the child, she fell into deep self-blame. She felt that she was not a good woman and was a mother.
even said to her husband that she is a mentally problematic woman with default thoughts, and she does not understand why she sometimes hates children so much.
These are all she said while crying.
"I really want to give more care to my child, but when she was very attached to me, I was exhausted in the unit for another day. When I saw her still like that, I would be very angry and hate her. Why do I hate her? I’m not considerate of me. I’ve tried my best to give her an operation. How could she treat me like this? But afterwards, I thought about how old she was, and she was still a child who didn’t understand anything. I’m like this. I hate her for being too selfish. I am so contradictory and helpless..."
Sister-in-law Zhuzi covered her face and cried, while Xiaoqian watched her crying silently.
Through this helpless woman, she seemed to see thousands of women who were the same as Zhuzisao.
They are ordinary like passers-by who walk on the street every day and pass by. They want to give more, like the great mothers sung in thousands of literary works, but their ideological consciousness cannot keep up with their ability, this kind of intensity. The contrast between these women has a great denial of themselves.
Many seemingly contradictory traits are gathered together, love and hate, dependence and independence, and want to divorce but have to succumb to the shell of the family for the sake of their children. This is the status quo of most women in the social transition period.
"Actually, it is normal to hate children."
"What?" The crying Zhuzi sister-in-law looked up at Xiaoqian. It was the first time she heard such a statement.
"I tell you, if psychological research shows that hating children is a normal reaction, do you believe it?"
"But everyone is saying that mothers should be great, and mothers should give everything to their children."
"Yeah, they all say that. When a woman says she hates children, everyone will accuse her and even think that she is unworthy. But when a man says that he hates children, many people think it's normal. We go to see creatures like children dialectically, crying, making troubles, or not listening. We know every day to ask for affection from you, especially when the child is just born, it is simply unspeakable annoying."
Some children can cry especially, crying and making noise all night after birth. If you meet a straight male father and think that the child is the mother’s responsibility, it will be a tragedy.
Wake up several times every night to breastfeed and change diapers, regardless of whether you are sick or uncomfortable, or whether you sleep soundly, as long as the wailing cry sounds, then you have to get up and take care of the child without hesitation.
Since I had this child, my life has changed.
is not only physical exhaustion, but also a resentment that changes the trajectory of the original life.
Before giving birth, occasionally go out shopping with friends of three or five, do something that you like, and enjoy yourself.
Giving birth to a child, everything contributes to the child.
After being a mother for several years, something like "self" is simply a luxury, especially when the baby is still a small baby. In order to take care of this little thing that does not understand anything, you must do your best to give everything. Shen is what a thousand people refer to.
"The most feared thing is that the child is sick. When the child is sick, the first sentence when you meet someone who is not sensible is, what do you think of the child? Many women do not like the child in the first six months of the birth of the child is the most normal reaction. Especially when you encounter a husband who doesn’t understand or help, your baby lacks the love of the father. When the father does not give enough care, the child will instinctively take the mother’s emotions twice. At this time, the mother is even more tired. Don’t think of a man. Just making money is enough. At the very least, you still have to have love for your wife and children. The lack of it will cause depression and anxiety for the mother and the child."
Xiaoqian has said so much, just want to tell her that hating children is not an unforgivable behavior, because most women have this mentality more or less when they first have children.
"But everyone around me likes children very much. They talk and chat with children, only me..."
"If I say that many women say that they like children, they all pretend, do you believe it?"
Looking at the problem from a professional point of view, it is too far from the usual accepted concept, Zhu Zisao was shocked again, pretend?
"Because of the rigid positioning of the mother's role in the general environment, many women tell themselves subconsciously that if they don't like children, they will be intolerable by society. Therefore, they have shown that they especially like to expose their babies in front of others. Reflecting the inner emptiness, there is a saying that is good, the more you like to show off, the more you lack something, but it cannot be said that these women’s practices are wrong. After the change of identity, many women are using various methods to persuade them to hypnotize themselves. To like children, to be emotional."
"You gave me a different understanding of the role of mothers...Don't all mothers love children?"
"Of course not. What I'm talking about is just a normal mentality of being a new mother. Because I just became a mother, I can't adjust my mentality. I will dislike the child a little bit due to fatigue and other reasons. This is a normal reaction. Get along with each other, 99.9% of mothers will fall in love with their children and are willing to spend their entire lives. I am sure of the great maternal love, but I don’t agree that maternal love is innate. In fact, the relationship between mother and child is built on the same In the process of getting along with bit by bit, taking care of this little thing, her trusting smile and reliant eyes will make us willing to give, and gradually become the fetters of our life."
Maternal love is the greatest affection in the world.
But from the perspective of human emotions, newborn babies always bring more troubles to their mothers than happiness. It would be better if someone helps to share the distress of parenting. If you meet a husband who throws away your hands, he thinks that he will be responsible as long as he is responsible for the household. Now, when I go home, I lie down on the sofa and watch TV and play games. Who knows the suffering of my mother?
Thanks to zhangxiaozhu for the reward of 10,000 starting currency~Add more and send it~Today, we will update more points, thank you for waiting all the way, thank you~
(End of this chapter)