My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1146 - 1006: Madness

After Zhang Yichen learned that his wife disappeared, he felt as if he had fallen into an abyss he couldn’t escape from. He couldn’t make it all become the way he imagined in reality; he was scared, scared that his wife might really leave him like that.

He never thought about what he feared the most in the past, never considered what kind of person he would become in this lifetime. But now he realized everything he wanted.

He truly regrets not spending enough time with the woman he loves back then, which led her to this point of disappearance.

What he wants most deep down now is not money, not benefits, not his family, but for his wife to return to his side, for him to see a living her standing in front of him. If that day truly comes, he might be really happy, very happy. Maybe that day comes slowly, but he believes that one day he’ll attain the most perfect.

"Mom, Grandpa, Dad, Zihan is missing, I need to rush to the hospital to find him, I cannot let him leave my side, I can’t be without her. You can clearly understand loving someone means being willing to give everything for them without expecting any return, it should be mutual understanding and tolerance between two people."

"If there’s no honesty between two people, no way to live happily together, then even if they live together, they won’t be happy. Their eyes see only benefits, and a marriage united for benefits won’t be happy."

"I originally thought I could keep him in the hospital without troubles, without any accidents, but now I realize it’s simply impossible."

"Now the entire person’s mind has already become abnormal, yet how can I be so carefree as to leave him alone in the hospital, no care, no attentiveness?"

"I am simply unworthy of being his husband, for all that he endured for me, went through countless hardships to give me a child, accepted pain not everyone could accept, and yet I treated him so cruelly, watched as he slowly went crazy, watched as he lost everything."

"I have to admit, at times I really hate myself, I hate myself, when my beloved woman is by my side, yet I don’t want to treat him sincerely, always thinking of being evasive. But now it’s clear he’s changed, he’ll never again feel hurt or disappointed by every decision I make; he’ll only live in his own world, immersed in his happiness, never knowing the pain or disappointment he once experienced, which caused by me as his husband, as the person sleeping beside him. I truly am a failure, with no right to blame my father for hurting me, nor can I blame anyone for what they did to me, because the blow I gave my wife lets me fully experience how helpless it was as a man back then, not knowing what decision to make, fearful all the time that my efforts will come to nothing."

"Yichen, stop saying these things now, quickly go find your wife, you must bring him back to me, he’s such a kind person, he shouldn’t suffer this pain, should live happily in his own world, undisturbed by anyone; it was us who disrupted his entire life, disturbed his entire life rhythm, causing all this to turn into such a state."

"If my return to this home would turn him into this state, I’d rather not have returned, unwilling to see you become so lost, seeing your panic makes me sense, through your eyes, how afraid your father was when I left, he loves me just like you love your wife. Through your eyes, I know how deeply I hurt a man who loved me, now I have no right to face him, nor do I have any face to beg him for forgiveness and understanding, but watch quietly as everything that belonged to me slowly leaves, as all the happiness I once had slips away from my hands."

"My life was originally a mess, I have no way to return life to its original state, is it really possible for unchanged original intent? I can’t remember what my initial intent was anymore; I’ve become numb, made decisions not everyone can make, gave up everything, now it’s time for heaven to punish me, punish me in this way, reminding myself of the hurt I caused those who loved me, the pain I caused them."

"I’ve never seen you so panicked, not even when we left you, you remained calm, suffered but didn’t have the fear now seen in your eyes; I deeply see through your eyes how great a man’s love for his wife is, willing to sacrifice everything for her, you’re such a good man, you’re so perfect, with you as my child, I’m incredibly proud, I have such a child, I can boldly tell the world that I have the world’s most perfect son, a perfect man, both in family and career, he’s reached the pinnacle of his life and stood on that peak for many years, never falling."

Yichen is truly panicked now, his entire persona has become frantic, searching the world for his wife’s shadow, yet after searching again and again, searching every street and alley, he hasn’t found her, becoming increasingly scared, fearful of any accidents happening to that person, he can’t take another hit like this. Everything has changed, all he wants is so simple.

Why always when he’s about to reach the happiness he longs for, does it all change, become the way it is now, so frenzied, so sad.

What exactly did he do wrong to make heaven treat him cruelly again and again, forcing him to experience repeatedly such hurt and helplessness."