My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1147 - 1007: Do Not Give Up

Zhang Yichen searched the whole world for any trace of Ran Zhihan, but even after searching everywhere, she seemed to have vanished into thin air, never appearing in his life again. He was now extremely afraid, afraid of any little surprise, afraid of the pain of losing her. He had experienced abandonment time and time again. Would he have to face such a decision again this time? Why was it always so hard for him? Why was his life always full of thorns?

All he wanted was to live happily, but why did all his desires ultimately betray him? What exactly did he do wrong to his most desired path?

"Mom, what exactly did I do wrong in this life? Why after you hurt me did my wife also strike me in such a way? I now don’t want my career, I don’t want the happiness I used to yearn for. I just want her back by my side because I know she is the woman I am destined to love most in my life. I can’t ruthlessly abandon her like I did before. I made many mistakes, just like you and Dad, but now that I know I’m wrong, why is there no way to salvage this when I realize it?

Look at what we have become. Her heart no longer has me, and I don’t know where to begin to search for her. Where could she be in this vast sea of people? All I can do is foolishly hope for the day when I meet her again, regardless of what she looks like then, regardless of whether she remembers me at that moment. I will have no regrets as long as I see her safe and sound.

Now, she is the most important person in my life. The child she gave birth to with such effort was for me. She endured unimaginable pain for me, bringing me a child. How can I be so ruthless and heartless to let her bear all the hurt and pain alone while I remain silent here?

Grandfather, do you think it’s because I hurt her that she is unwilling to return to my side? Is that why she chose to treat me in this way? I regret it. I regret not keeping her by my side. I regret causing her the pain she never wanted to bear. Why was I so cruel? Why did I never consider her feelings? How hard her life must have been in her eyes. How difficult it must have been for her to get to where she is today. When she gave everything for me, I turned a blind eye to it. I am the biggest fool in the world. I am the most heartless man in the world. I hurt a wife who gave everything for me.

Time can never go back. I now wish fervently that time would rewind, but is that even possible? Even if I had the power to turn back mountains and seas, I would never let time rewind again!"

Old Master Zhang could see how full of regret Zhang Yichen was. In his heart, what he wanted most was the safety of his family, but this was too difficult for him. His family had already left him, this once whole family had long since fallen apart. Now everything was just a deep imagination within himself. How he wished everything was just a dream, a dream from which one would never wake up, so he wouldn’t have to live life so arduously, step by painful step into such hardship. If time could go back, how could he have made such impulsive decisions and let his life be filled with such heartache?

In his eyes, he thought everything he did was right; the only greatest mistake was losing the woman he should have cherished most, and to him, that might be the biggest blunder of his life. If he really had another chance to choose, he would choose to give up everything to be by her side, never leaving her. Maybe she simply couldn’t bear to be with him anymore, thus choosing such a way to leave, a way to say goodbye. If every decision he made carried responsibility, how much responsibility would he have to bear to make up for everything he had lost? Each step he took now was like walking on thin ice.

How he wished time could come again, so he wouldn’t live like this, nor worry every step he took, fearing loss once more, not fearing again the pain of returning to experiences. Such feelings were excessively painful.

"Child, you must understand that no matter when or where, you are not alone. Besides her, you have us, your family. As long as you need, just say the word, and we as family will go through fire and water for you willingly. You should also know, in your eyes all family members are the same since all are equal in your eyes, but do you know? In my eyes, you are more important than anyone because you are the child I raised with all my effort. I invested all my love in you, and I can’t just watch others destroy you, nor can I watch as you become negative and dispirited, or see all of this become what it is now.

Can time really come again? If it could, you wouldn’t be in such pain now, would you? I too wish time could rewind, so I wouldn’t have chosen to let you go down an irrevocable path, wouldn’t have let you endure all the pain, wouldn’t have let you undergo hellish training at Jin Se.

Even if you don’t hate everyone in the world, you should hate me, your grandfather, for making you into who you are now, for your current mindset and ruthless nature are because of my training. As you know, I taught you everything I knew because you didn’t want any family member to suffer harm, which is why you’ve become so numb now. This all began because of me, and should also end because of me."

"Grandfather, no matter what, I will not give up on finding her, nor will I give up on any member of this family. Trust me, I believe I can achieve this..."