My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1119 - 969 The Image in the Heart

"Grandfather, perhaps you don’t know there was a time when I was very disappointed in my father because of what he did. During that time, in my heart, he was a failed father. I never believed he was successful because he never received the love from my grandparents. But do you know? When I found out that everything he achieved was through his own efforts, I realized how strong he was. At that moment, I acknowledged him as the strongest father in my heart; he gave me a life that no one else could, he gave me everything he should have given, and he protected me so perfectly. To prevent me from getting hurt, he would rather get hurt himself again and again!"

"During that time, I saw him as a selfish father. He achieved his selfish results, resorting to all means for his own goals without hesitation, even hurting his family and relatives around him."

"I thought my father was simply terrifying, only considering his own interests in his heart, willing to hurt everyone around him for his benefit."

"Now he doesn’t even understand what he did all of this for. Maybe his actions hurt those who loved him the most, but it seems he doesn’t care anymore. Even so, he still does whatever he wants freely. He has abandoned his entire family. He treats everything his family says as if it’s nothing. He is no longer the father he used to be; he has changed, becoming heartless and merciless. Is this really my father? Why is he living like this now?"

"Zhang Ni has no way to understand why his father has become like this, what the real reason is, is it just because he lacked the love of his own parents?"

"Even if it’s true that it’s because he lacked the love of his parents, he didn’t have to do such things. Did he ever consider his parents when doing such things? What would the outcome be when they eventually found out? Hasn’t he thought about how much pain his father and mother would truly feel deep inside? Now, there is only himself in his eyes. He is completely like a different person."

"Zhang Yichen knows the change in his image in his son’s mind, but he is helpless. Things have come to this point, and he can only allow this mistake to continue. He never thought his life would be so sad. He thinks as long as he can be happy and as long as his parents are safe and sound without arguing over anything, he would be content. But now the world has become a terrible place. What should he do to act as if everything never happened and to return everything to its original state?"

"Not until his father told him all the truth, using every reason to convince him, did he decide never to go against his father, anytime and anywhere."

"’Child, I know deep in your heart, as a father, I am completely incompetent and irresponsible. We have missed so much, and you also know how much I longed for my parents to be by my side. You’ve always had me and your mom by your side, so you don’t feel what it’s like to lack your parents’ company. You don’t understand how exciting that feeling is, how manly and how much torture it is. We can’t possibly throw away everything we dislike for the rest of our lives and let others bear the burden instead. No one is willing to bear everything over and over. I really don’t want much. I just hope everyone can live peacefully and happily. Why is it so difficult?

"Now, in your heart, I have no place at all. You always think everything I do is for my own desires. Do you know? For so many years, I’ve also witnessed how much pain my grandfather has gone through, how much he longed for his son to be by his side. Over the years, I’ve gotten used to my parents never being by my side, but my grandfather can’t. He’s old now, and he can’t withstand any disturbance. He just hopes his last wish can be fulfilled. How could I possibly burn out all of my grandfather’s hopes easily for my hatred?

"How he treats me, you should understand deep down.

"You have also seen how hard he has lived all these years, how much he suffered, and he gave me all the best things he had."

"Should I really just destroy all of his years of expectation over this small matter now?’

"I once told you I always repay wrongs, and I’d rather destroy what I cannot have than let anyone else have it. But now I can’t do that."

"Because if I do that, no one can know what would become of my grandfather in the end. Sometimes you have to think about things from other people’s perspectives more often."

"That selfish era of mine has passed. I can no longer live with a clear conscience like before, carelessly dealing with everything like I used to. Now, I am filled with fear about life, afraid that a slight mistake could harm my family. Everything I do now is just so that my family can live harmoniously and happily. Do you see this home as it should be? The home is no longer a home; your mother has become like this, and now I have to, because of some things, drive your grandparents out. Then the people in this family will really be shattered, and it can never return to the peaceful family it once was again."

"Even if Zhang Ni can disregard his parents’ thoughts, he cannot ignore what his great-grandfather thinks."

"She understands better than anyone how good Old Master Zhang is to her father and herself. He does everything he can to give us the best things. Now, if he gets hurt because of these things, how can my conscience be at ease? How can I face all those who have helped me? Does what I do really repay their help, really live up to all the efforts and joy I’ve given each time? I never thought about how hard my life would be. I just wanted everyone in this family to live happily."

"In the end, everything my father did was not wrong. He became the way he is today for the family. He took every step so that everyone in this family could live happily. If I blame him for these things, am I truly right? Wouldn’t I become the unworthy, unkind, and unfilial one? No matter what, I must ensure that everyone in this family lives peacefully and happily. Perhaps the most important thing for a family is that everyone can rely on each other to live together. Even if the road ahead is full of thorns, they still embrace tightly and never separate."