Were you mine?

Chapter 28 Torture

Lea's POV

Phill was right.

Jake needed to know about the child but deep down I knew exactly what he would be doing.

I knew the exact challenge that he was facing.

I didn't tell Phill what Rosa had shared when she visited.

Jake's agency had already given him the choice - relationship, scandals or a high flying career that had already taken off.

I had seen Jake's hesitation when he had received the call from his manager.

I didn't want to pester him and he had decided to not talk about it at all.

I wanted Jake to know about the child. Of course I did.

Why the hell would I not?

But I didn't want him to regret the child later on in his life. I want Jake to know about him when he is ready.

I told myself that I would raise the child well. I told myself that I was strong enough. I told myself that I was only giving ourselves some time. I was giving Jake the time to concentrate and focus on himself.

Even though I had explicitly written in the letter that I left him, that I was breaking up with him. I told him I was severing all our ties, whatever we felt for each other, was over and done with and I told him never to come look for me, because I found someone better.

I knew that would sting him. He was the jealous kind. But that was the only way to convince him not to go crazy looking for me and getting back with me, trying to ask for forgiveness.

I told him that it didn't matter what he did with Rosa because I didn't care. I told him my new man took care of me in ways that he never could have. And I swear I cried while I wrote that.

My tear drop literally smudged that page at that spot.

It was necessary to make him stop feeling guilty if not hate me.

However, deep down in my mind, I never had a doubt that eventually I would be getting back.

Call me stupid in all the languages you possibly can but that is how I am built.

Jake is my one and only, till the very end.

I placed one hand over my baby bump and leaned back on the arm chair in my room.

Phill went home after dropping me at my place and I was left with the voices in my head and my loneliness.

I dared to touch the tv remote and switch on the TV for some distraction.

And there he was, staring at me.

I had forgotten that there were a lot of media people at the event from the local news agencies.

They were playing clips from his performance.

I couldn't help but look with open eyes, wider than they were back at the concert.

And then I saw his gaze travel all the way towards the balcony.

The balcony where I was.

There was no doubt that he had seen me.

The look of shock and longing in his eyes were as bright as daylight. It didn't help when they zoomed in on his face.

***

Jake's POV

The operation wasn't that scary.

It only took half an hour to get everything done.

But the doctors insisted on observation and rest while they kept me hospitalized for one or two more days and administered the medicines intravenously.

It was difficult for me to spend nights in the hospital alone, especially isolated in the cabin.

It brought back bad memories. Memories from my childhood when I hadn't yet met the light called Lea and my life was nothing but eternal darkness.

Nightmares came back when I slept alone in the hospital chair. Nightmares in the shape of the creature that I once called father.

" Who is Lea? Goodness, boy, you are sweating like crazy!!! What happened to you? ”

I had not realised that due to the sedatives I had deifted off to sleep and everything was replaying in my mind and I was literally throwing hads in reality.

I had ripped the channel that was administering the drip. There was blood on my wrist and my hospital gown was soaking wet. And apparently I had repeatedly called out Lea.

Nothing unexpected.

" Please take me out of this cabin and put me where I can see faces. I need to see faces. I cannot be alone. Please. ”

The nurse looked very confused at my request but I am glad that she ultimately agreed do as I said.

I missed Lea. I missed her every second, every minute, every hour, every morning, every night. But ever since I found her ear rings, my heart was thirsting. For one glance... a single touch... or a single word... whatever fare would give me... I was begging.

She had been very clear about moving on. She told me she had found someone.

I didn't believe her a single bit.

But she swore by the heavens that she didn't want to see me... see my face to be precise or hear my voice. She told me never to look for her.

Lea hardly swore. And she swore only when the situation was dire.

That split my decision. I came to the conclusion that she might really hate me a lot to come up with something so filthy. She wanted me to hate her. But I could never do that. Not even if she cut me into half.

The guilt of what I did with Rosa and the guilt that I made her suffer still ate me up.

I was angry at Rosa when she said that she had gone to meet Lea but she told me she had gone to apologize but it definitely made matters worse.

" Jake, she clearly told me that she was seeing someone. Why would you not believe me? ”

I had literally pushed Rosa out of the way before heading towards the hospital.

But by that time I was only left with her letter and her empty hospital bed.

Why then would she come to see me at my concert?

I needed an answer for that.

Dman it, Lea!

Come and answer the damn question. I wouldn't happily bear with all your tortures.

Even you pain if like your sweet remembrance.

Lea... Lea... Lea... I needed her more than I needed the air to breathe.

" WHAT THE HELL!!! WHY ARE YOU MOVING A MAN NEXT TO MY BED.... oh, goodness, it's Jake... ”

A loud squeal interrupted my trail of nightmare and I found myself being shifted to another ward as a female patient sat on on her bed and started waving in my direct.