Were you mine?

Chapter 27 Freedom

Lea's POV

I will be absolutely honest when I say that Phill supported me unconditionally. He had not for once, asked why I didn't want Jake to know about the baby.

He didn't ask what our relationship was or anything related to it.

He simply trusted me and let me make my own decisions.

But I think I had pushed his limits that night.

I cannot deny that I was behaving like manic after losing that ear ring. The ear ring was definitely important but that was not the only matter. Seeing Jake after such a long time and not being able to touch him had the exact same effect on me as that of a thirsty person in the middle of the desert, deceived by a mirage. Desperation was mingling with my pregnancy hormones and forcing me to throw a fit in the middle of the road, in the middle of nowhere.

" Lea!!! Get a hold on yourself! "

Phill literally grabbed both my hands in his and shook me violently. " I thought you cared about your baby! ”

His voice was clearly rhetorical.

"I don't know what happened between the two of you. I am not interested in the details. But I don't understand one thing, Lea...If you love him so much... If you bleed everyday, every night for his sake, why then did you have to run away from him?

It doesn't seem like he isn't willing to take responsibility. I mean he seems more than capable. Why don't you just go back to him and end your suffering? ”

His words were sharp and straight to the point and they were slowly knocking some sense back into me.

I gradually calmed down and my breathing became normal. I slipped the single piece of the ear ring back in my pocket, completely giving up the search for the other pair.

" I can't go back to him. " I slowly mumbled getting back in the car, defeated and then leaning back in the car seat.

I saw Phill heave a sigh and then get inside from the other side of the car.

" Do you want to talk about it? You haven't talked about it with me and I doubt you talked about it with anyone else. It's better to get it out, Lea. All these pent up emotions will give you more pain. You can tell me. I will be like a wall. Your secret will be safe with me. ”

I opened my eyes and looked in his, looking at me with such tenderness that assured me that he didn't want to break me. Not now, not ever. He wanted to be the walking stick on which we all can lean on.

But there was something else in his eyes.

Something that I could feel but not identify at the moment.

" Jake and I have a very long history.We literally grew up together... ” Thus I began my narration as Phill fetched the pillow from the back and placed it comfortably under my neck, handing me the juice that he brought for me and then settling back in his seat, all eyes on me, listening to every word with full attention.

He was right. I did feel like a mountain moved from over my chest as I narrated our story, starting till probably what was the end.

I heaved a sigh finally sipping the juice because my throat felt soar and dry.

An awkward silence hung in the air and then finally Phill spoke for the first time. He hadn't interrupted me even once. But I could tell from his expressions that something was bothering him.

" You became pregnant after sleeping with him just once? Didn't they teach you safe s*x in school? What were you thinking? ”

Of all the things that I told him, he decided to lecture me on my stupidity.

" It was... you know, unplanned. My Jake isn't the type who goes sleeping around with random women... " I gulped because after what I saw I think things have changed. " Well, he didn't used to... so he never carried a condom with him. Like I told you, we weren't planning on doing it or had any intension. So there was no question of starting my pills. It just.... you know... happened... though, I should have taken the morning after pill.... I guess, you are right. We were both too naive. "

" Hell, you were, Lea! You guys are such a kid. I mean completely immature. Who does something like this? And you talk about virtues and values and stuff... why did you sleep with him when he hadn't even proposed or confessed his love to you properly? ”

I felt like school student being grilled by the teacher.

" It felt natural. He felt natural. Our relationship felt natural... like it was meant to be. "

I saw Phill rebound as he tried suppressing what looked like laughter.

I felt suddenly offended and vulnerable for opening up to him.

" Lea, we are not living in fairyland. This is real world. Things don't work according to the voices in your head. You need to learn to stand for yourself. ”

I won't lie. I did feel stupid more than one time.

" But I must tell you something, " He came too close to my face all of a sudden, almost making me drop my drink. He slowly tucked my hair back under my ear as he continued, " I can feel the part where you said love isn't only about claiming, it's about continuing to love even through sacrifices. It's putting the person you love before yourself, no matter how much it hurts. ”

I could see a pain threatening to find surface when he regained his composure and asked, " I have one last question. "

I nodded, " Shoot away! "

" Don't you think he deserves to know about the existence of this child and take his own decisions?

I understand if you think he is a d*ckhead for cheating on you. I understand if you hate him and dont want him in your life.

But you clearly don't.

You love him so much that you don't want him to suffer which is a ridiculous excuse to keep him in the dark about the situation.

Don't you think in hoping to give him the best and not burdening him with responsible at the moment, you are taking away his freedom... his freedom to chose what he truly wants? ”