novelraw Chapter 383: Esports God, Don’t Close Yourself Off 48
Chapter 383: Esports God, Don’t Close Yourself Off 48
I want to make something of myself, I have to study hard.
I need to survive, I have to take care of my mom.
I have to work three jobs, endlessly earning money.
Sister, Ji Xingyu confessed to me that he likes me, but when I look at myself, I always feel that we are two parallel lines, never meant to intersect, as if we were people from two different worlds."
By the time she got to this point, Lin Yiren seemed unable to cry anymore.
Perhaps, because of these things, she had cried out all her tears.
Lin Yiren’s eyes were bloodshot,
"Being liked by Ji Xingyu, what a wonderful opportunity that is."
As she spoke, her voice got softer and softer.
Finally, she crouched down onto the ground.
At last, she spoke the words she had never said before
"But I like him, I really like him."
Because I like him too much.
Unwilling to let him see my worst.
Unwilling to use him to escape this muddy life of mine.
She knew she couldn’t step on Ji Xingyu to climb up.
Perhaps it was too clear to her.
Even when she looked at Ji Xingyu, even though she liked him.
It was just looking at someone who didn’t belong to her.
Thinking one day, he would fall in love with someone else, marry another woman as his bride.
With those passionate eyes, gazing at another woman.
She wanted to cling to him desperately, wishing to pull him down into despair with her.
It was simply, jealousy.
But, she didn’t wish for him to have a bad life.
Unable to pick it up, unable to let go.
Leading this clear-cut affection to become a prolonged battle of attrition.
Mutually tormenting, waiting to see who collapses first.
After sobbing, Lin Yiren seemed to realize that her behavior was inappropriate.
She wiped away her tears, stood up,
"Sister Su Yan, I, I should go first."
Su Yan was still holding the tissue, intending to give it to her.
But Lin Yiren, with her head down, ran off in a hurry.
Su Yan watched Lin Yiren’s retreating figure, with an indescribable feeling in her heart.
A bitter feeling.
Utterly helpless, utterly desperate.
Memories flashed through Su Yan’s mind.
But they were soon interrupted by Xiao Hua’s voice
"Host~~, you’ve overextended by an hour and forty minutes~~"
Su Yan came back to her senses, blinking her eyes.
Then she continued to walk towards the apartment.
Opening the door, she walked in.
She found Ji Yan sitting in the living room, still draped in that cherry blossom-patterned bedsheet.
His complexion was pale, with dark, moist eyes, looking pitiful like a small creature.
Sitting there quietly, waiting for Su Yan to return.
When he saw Su Yan come back, a glint of brightness flashed in Ji Yan’s eyes, finally showing some vitality.
He moved his lips, wanting to say something.
Su Yan approached him and looked him up and down, then asked,
"Are you done looking?"
Ji Yan nodded.
Then, with a hoarse voice tinged with grievance, he started speaking,
"You said you would come back after finishing reading."
Su Yan explained earnestly,
"I got held up by something."
Ji Yan was silent, only holding the book in his hand.
Remembering Ji Xingyu and Lin Yiren downstairs, she asked with curiosity,
"Has your brother come looking for you?"
Ji Yan thought for a while, then slowly said,
"Someone came knocking on the door, but I didn’t answer."
After saying this, Ji Yan’s gaze at Su Yan still carried a sense of grievance,
As if accusing her of not keeping her word.
Su Yan knew she was wrong for coming back late,
And hesitantly muttered,
"Are you, still angry?"
Her feeble attempt at pacification was so clumsy that even Xiao Hua felt anxious for her Host.
Ji Yan clutched the bedsheet, feeling somewhat nervous for some reason, but still resolutely nodded,
"Yes."