The Villain’s Ending

Chapter 65

Delusion (4)

A considerable amount of time passed after that, yet Seraphina never came to speak of breaking off the engagement.

During the day, I headed to the classroom at the appointed time.

I would either gaze out the window, lullabied by the boring professor's voice, or scribble meaningless doodles on my desk.

At night, I returned to my dormitory room.

Though I walked through the corridors daily and moved between classrooms for lectures, I had never once run into Seraphina, which was odd.

So much so that I began to wonder if she was intentionally avoiding me.

If she was going to bring up breaking off the engagement, I wished she would just get it over with.

Sometimes, my footsteps would lead me to the church of their own accord.

Estelle was always there, either sitting on the stairs leading to the second floor, or lying on a long pew, blankly staring at the ceiling and passing the time.And whenever I came, she would chat animatedly as if genuinely delighted, only to send me off later with a somewhat wistful look.

And today, I was on my way back to my room.

Estelle, who was sitting on a garden bench, saw me and waved.

Her silver hair, bathed in the evening glow, seemed to shimmer with a faint pink hue.

I let out a brief sigh and walked towards her.

There was no one around.

At least, I didn't have to worry about attracting anyone's notice.

Our footsteps, side by side, led us toward the church.

"Wait a moment."

Estelle said as soon as we entered the church.

With light steps, she darted up the stairs leading to the second floor.

A short while later, she came back down, holding two perfectly ripe red apples in both hands.

"Here, eat. Don't ask where I got them from."

She handed me one apple, then rubbed the other against the sleeve of her priestess robe before taking a large bite.

A crisp, cheerful crunch echoed through the empty church.

"Mmm, it's sweet. Try it quickly."

Estelle said, her cheeks bulging with apple as she chewed.

I looked down at the apple in my hand.

Just in case there was blood on it, I casually wiped it against the hem of my uniform jacket.

Estelle, oblivious to my actions, continued speaking.

"It's really strange, when you think about it.

As soon as I decided to live here and moved my things in, you came looking for me the very next day."

She sat perched on the edge of the altar, swinging her legs.

"And as soon as I saw you, I thought about what should I say...

It felt like my mind went completely blank.

As if I was possessed by something, I just... couldn't think of anything at all.

If you were in the same situation as me, you'd have thought the exact same thing, wouldn't you?

Like, 'Is this person a heretic, or a dark mage using forbidden magic?'"

Instead of replying, I took a bite of the apple in my hand.

The sweet juice filled my mouth.

"Yeah. It's sweet and delicious."

At my blatant attempt to change the subject, Estelle stared at me for a moment, then burst into a giggle.

That evening, I had dinner with Estelle at the church.

She chattered on as usual, recounting all the trivial happenings of the day.

I mostly just listened.

"Anyway, why don't you just live with me in the church permanently?

For a room, we can just clean one of the empty spaces, and the second floor is quite cozy, you know.

Coming to visit like this is annoying, isn't it?"

She blurted this out on the way back after we finished our meal.

"No."

I replied instantly.

"Why? Am I making you uncomfortable?"

"No. My room is just more comfortable."

After that, Estelle pressed her lips together.

She wore a somewhat sulky expression.

I left her like that in front of the church and returned to my dormitory room alone.

I didn't just idly pass the time as I used to.

I was maintaining a somewhat regular routine.

During the day, I diligently attended all my classes.

At night, whether sleep came or not, I would lie in bed and close my eyes once the appointed time arrived.

I tried my best to fall asleep.

Sometimes, I would slip out of the dormitory in the dead of night and practice swinging my sword under the moonlight.

My creaking body traced arcs entirely different from my intentions.

Hiding away in a corner of the library, I would pore over magic-related books and try to murmur spells, but only hollow sounds escaped my lips.

It was nearly impossible to catch up now on what should have been systematically built up through education since childhood.

Because swordsmanship required a well-trained body, and magic needed a complexly cultivated mana pool from a young age.

So, with the mindset that it would be good if at least my body were healthy, I would go out at night and move, simply feeling like I was getting some moderate exercise.

Because after moving around like this for a few hours, I could fall asleep without needing to get drunk.

But on nights when I didn't drink, the nightmares unfailingly returned.

Tonight, I hadn't drunk anything.

And so, tonight too, she came.

Lineta, hanging from the ceiling, was vivid before my eyes.

The sour and repulsive smell, that peculiar stench of death, stung my nose.

Yet despite this, I felt the delusion that a lukewarm warmth still lingered in her body.

I approached her as if nothing was amiss, set up the overturned chair, stepped onto it, and untied the rope from her neck.

Instead of embracing her limp body, I let it drop to the floor, then painstakingly lifted her onto the bed.

Somehow, amidst that lukewarm, unpleasant sensation and stench, if I pressed my eyes shut, I would eventually awaken from the dream.

My entire body was drenched in cold sweat.

Feeling as if my breath was caught in my throat, I took a deep breath, then stumbled to the bathroom and splashed myself with cold water.

As the water streamed down, I repeatedly slammed my head against the wall.

After washing, I would wander the academy's night streets for hours on end, then sit on a suitable bench and smoke cigarettes until it was morning.

During the day, I lived as if perfectly fine, concealing the traces of such nights.

If I get close enough, if I become intimate enough, and if people think that I, now expelled from the family, can't do anything...

...and if I deliberately stick close to Estelle, and avoid being noticed by anyone, then I might be able to do something, just as I told Levina.

Today, after another boring class, I was walking down the corridor to get lunch.

At the other end of the corridor, Seraphina was laughing and talking with her friends, and for the first time in a very long while, our eyes met.

****

The moment Seraphina's eyes met Lavin's, she froze on the spot.

She didn't know what to say, nor what expression to wear.

"Hey, isn't that... Lavin Edelgard?"

Her friend Elise, standing beside her, shook her arm and asked.

Only then did Seraphina snap back to reality.

"Seraphina? What's wrong? You don't look well."

Elise looked at Lavin, who was slowly walking towards them from the end of the corridor, and said, a little excitedly.

"Is it because of that scoundrel? You're finally going to break off the engagement, aren't you?"

"...I'm not."

Seraphina barely managed to reply.

"Just a few days ago, you said you were so fed up you were going crazy.

Seraphina, to a ruffian who hangs out with delinquents, has bad conduct, and even caused an accident in the forbidden library that led to a student's death—"

"I know, I know it too, so stop talking, Elise."

Seraphina bit her lip slightly and replied irritably.

She knew these words were meant for her own good, but somehow, she didn't want to hear them.

It felt as if something would go terribly wrong if she simply let things proceed as everyone around her advised.

"I heard that person is going to be expelled from their family soon, is that true?"

"I can just keep him with me, can't I?"

It was a remark that had burst out impulsively.

Elise let out a long sigh, looking at her.

"What's so good about a ruffian who's only superficially decent?"

Elise muttered under her breath and lightly pushed Seraphina's back.

"Then instead of frustratingly avoiding him, go and talk to him. We're going to get lunch first."

Her friends walked away.

In the corridor, it suddenly seemed that only Lavin and Seraphina were left.

He was getting closer and closer.

Seraphina awkwardly raised her hand.

It felt as though she should at least greet him.

But Lavin simply walked past her.

She had expected a reaction like he used to, smiling and welcoming her, or acting grateful for a simple greeting, but Lavin walking past without even acknowledging her was far harder to accept than she had anticipated.

She stared blankly at his retreating figure.

The thought struck her that she shouldn't let him go like this.

She didn't know why.

It just felt like it had to be done.

Seraphina unconsciously followed him and grabbed his sleeve.

His footsteps halted.

And Lavin slowly turned around.

The moment she saw his face, Seraphina held her breath.

Seeing him after a long time, he didn't look quite alright.

Cold sweat beaded on his pale face.

His hazy eyes, unfocused, were glazed over.

Seraphina unconsciously reached out a hand.

She wanted to caress his cheek.

She wanted to ask if he was alright.

But at his voice, her hand froze in mid-air.

"Lineta...?"

Only after Lavin uttered that name did his blurry vision regain focus.

"...Ah, Seraphina."

"Lineta, who's that..."

Seraphina trailed off in the middle of her sentence.

It was probably the name of some girl he was seeing outside.

At least now was not the time to question him.

His condition didn't seem normal.

"Wait, do you want to sit down somewhere and talk?"

Lavin wiped the cold sweat from his forehead with his sleeve, then nodded.

They walked in silence, then sat side by side on a suitable bench by the roadside.

An awkward silence fell between them.

Seraphina, who had been sitting a little apart, soon moved herself closer to Lavin.

"It feels like we haven't talked for too long."

At her words, Lavin stared blankly at Seraphina.

Then, all of a sudden, he gave a faint smile that seemed to convey a sense of relief.

Lavin raised a hand and gently stroked her hair.

Under normal circumstances, she might have recoiled from his touch.

Seraphina thought.

But somehow now, for reasons unknown, her heart ached so profoundly that she couldn't utter the words she was about to say, and merely bit her lower lip.