The Kingpin's Possession

73: All This Time

Kit:It was a while more before Kit and Earth were left alone to enjoy dessert. Ben had left when a car came to collect him for his doctor’s check-up, Kit’s eyes following as his friend disappeared behind the tinted windows of P’First’s familiar car and drove off.

One of P’First’s men had actually entered the restaurant to look around as well, while they had come to collect Ben, and after a quick sweep, that man had told Kit that everything seemed to be alright so he could stay a bit longer if he wanted to.

Earth followed Kit’s eyes with a sigh. “Ben has really changed a lot in the past few months, hasn't he?”

“Hmm?” Kit belatedly returned his gaze to Earth. “Arai na“Well, for starters, he’s gotten himself involved with a mafia don,” Earth pointed out with a scoff. “ And that said don just send his car to fetch his boy. They probably have the same relationship that you have with P’Kim. Don't you think so, too?”

Kit considered it, poking at the chocolate cake on his plate with his spoon. “I don't believe it,” he finally said. “The way I see it, they do have some sort of relationship, but I’m not quite sure about the nature of it yet. I have seen them together, but their relationship didn't seem very… romantic. To be honest, it almost felt like P’First was recruiting Ben to be one of his men, not his lover.”

Earth nodded. “You make a good point; it's not like I’ve actually had the chance to observe the two of them together like you have, so I’ll take your word for it,” he said. “At the very least, I can say for sure that they have a sexual relationship. I’ve seen the hickeys on Ben's neck.” He sighed. “But anyway, good for him. Even if their relationship is nothing but a mutually beneficial one, at least Ben is finally moving on.”

“Huh? Arai naMoving on from what?”Earth cursed at his reaction. “Dammit,” he said under his breath. “I shouldn't have said that. Sorry, just forget I said anything.”

“Mai chai“Ah, it's nothing, really. Don't worry about it.”

“Come on, Earth,” Kit sighed. “You can’t just drop that on me and expect me to forget about it? Did Ben have a crush on someone? Was he dating before?”

“No, not dating. I swear, it's just pure speculation on my part,” Earth emphasized. “It's nothing to share. I’d rather not burden you with it since I have no solid proof on my hunches. I guess…I was just babbling. There’s really nothing to it.”

But now that Earth had already put doubts in his mind, he couldn’t stop thinking about it. It sounded like Earth was only downplaying his words in order to dissuade Kit from trying to press further. And if Kit knew his friend well—and he did—Earth was clearly hiding something. Something he was convinced to be true.

“Tell me,” Kit insisted. “I know you too well to realize that whatever you’re thinking about involves me. And I’d like to know what it is. NaEarth sighed. “Umm…kor daiPom sanya na“Dai, sanya khapEarth didn’t look convinced, but he continued anyway, “Remember when I said that Ben’s relationship with P’First might be the same as the one you share with P’Kim? Well, it turns out you're a better observer than me, so this one's not worth your time.”

Kit knew it was Earth’s last ditch attempt to thwart him off of his back. But Kit shook his head, unwilling to let it go, especially after Earth made him promise that he wouldn’t freak out. He didn’t know what the whole secrecy was about, but with each passing second, his heartbeat increased, a kind of foreboding settling in the pit of his stomach even though he didn’t know what kind of revelation Earth was about to put forward.

Now that the seeds of doubt had been firmly planted in his mind, he just couldn't seem to let it go. “We're friends, aren't we?” Kit tried to appeal. “We’ve always shared everything with each other. Then why are you trying to keep this secret so well hidden, Earth? What is it that you don’t want me to know?”

Earth made a defeated noise, and Kit knew he won.

Earth looked around the room, trying to check if anyone was listening, before he leaned forward and said, “I know you two didn't share everything with me about the Chiang Mai trip, but I know that the reason for that is because it's for everyone's safety, so I will let it go…only if you let it go as well.”

Kit looked stricken for a moment, before his expression turned to anger. “What the hell? Are you trying to play dirty, Earth?”

“Oh, don't give me that look like I’ve just kicked a puppy,” Earth joked, rolling his eyes. “I’m not hurt or offended, if that's what you're worried about. And no, I’m not playing dirty.” He leaned back for a bit, looking a lot less conspiratorial. “I was just hoping to give you an out so that you wouldn’t have to blame yourself later on or be worried about this for days. So just…let it go? I know I’m the stupid one for bringing this up and I regret it. Don’t make this any difficult than it already is, Kit.”

“You think this is gonna be any easier for me to forget after what you just said?” Kit asked incredulously. “Or do you want me to ask Ben directly? Let him be the one to question you?”

“What the fuck?” Earth looked at Kit in alarm. “Have you lost your mind?”

“Not yet, but if you keep this up then I just might.” Kit hissed, losing his patience. “I promised you that I wouldn’t freak out but you try to keep changing the subject. I swear to god…if you don’t tell me what the hell you’re hiding, I will call Ben back and have him-”

“Ben…was in love with you.”

It took a second for the information to set in. For a few seconds, Kit thought that he was hearing it all wrong, but when he looked at Earth, he saw how his friend didn’t hesitate to meet his eyes, and how serious he looked.

“W-what?” was all Kit could say, flabbergasted. He felt like the ground had shifted beneath his feet.

Ben…the same boy that he had known since middle school…the same boy who had been one of his best friends…was in love with him? Was he…how…did he…

“God…” Kit shook his head in obvious denial. “That's not possible; Ben…he’s always been one of my best friends. He…couldn’t possibly be in love with me…Earth…you’re joking right?”

Earth shook his head on a sigh. “This is why I didn’t want to tell you, Kit. Because I knew you wouldn’t believe me.”

“Because it’s bullshit, Earth!” Kit couldn’t help but snap. “How…why? This is Ben we’re talking about! My friend! Ben!”

“Friend?” Earth scoffed, clearly irritated at Kit’s blindness. “Tell me, Kit, what kind of ‘friend’ would risk their life to save you over and over again? A friend who has feelings for you, that's what! When we were kidnapped by P’First and even P’Kim seemed to be in a fix, Ben volunteered to stay back and save you! Hell, forget about that, think of the most recent attack! Ben save you from a fucking bullet and tried to protect you before going after the bad guy.”

“Because we're friends!” Kit reasoned, unbelieving. “Isn't that what friends who care for each other do?”

Earth rolled his eyes again on a bitter laugh. “Listen, I love you, Kit, as a friend. But if shit was going down, I wouldn’t voluntarily take a fucking bullet to try to save you and neither would I volunteer to stay back with a psycho mafia so you could get away.”

Kit stared at Earth, the words hitting him like a punch to the gut. He tried to open his mouth, to say that he would do the same…but he found out that he couldn’t lie.

In reality, the only person who he would willingly take a bullet for…was P’Kim. And he was his lover, the love of his life.

“I’m sorry, Kit, to be the one who had to break this to you,” Earth said, his frustration less evident now as he slowly collected himself. “But only a blind person wouldn't have noticed how Ben has been in love with you all this time!”