novelraw Chapter 771: Elizabeth Do You Not See
Chapter 771: Elizabeth Do You Not See
"Step aside!"
"Her Highness Elizabeth has already instructed, besides that personal maid serving inside, no one is allowed to enter..."
"I said, step aside!"
"...Yes."
Deep within the Golden Palace, Isabel, who had completely transformed from an immature girl into a mature adult, wearing a white casual uniform forcefully pushed aside the Inner Court Officials on both sides of the door leaves. Just about to extremely furiously kick open the bedchamber her elder sister resided in, but seemingly couldn't bear it in her heart, that action thus stagnated in mid-air...
Isabel gritted her teeth, ultimately still not going to kick the door, but gently reaching out pushing the door open.
The lighting within the palace was dim, the air oppressive, spreading a twilight-like aura.
Every time she came here, Isabel's brows couldn't help but furrow, both irritated and distressed.
"Whoosh..."
But fortunately, the windows inside were ventilated. Hence a draft curled up the hanging drapery from that crack in the window leaking faint light, bringing into view that emaciated human figure sitting on the bed.Looking at that human figure, Isabel opened her mouth. Just as she was about to speak, a crisp female voice transmitted from behind the living room's curtain,
"Your Majesty Isabel."
Hearing that female voice, Isabel was slightly stunned, turning her head looking toward that human figure. She was about to initiate an address, yet abruptly changed her mind, shifting her tone,
"...Yu'er, sorry for troubling you."
"No trouble."
The human figure behind that curtain nodded, looking exactly like that personal maid the Inner Court Official mentioned outside the door just now.
Isabel withdrew her gaze, looking toward that emaciated figure hiding behind the drapery, sitting on the bed, calling out,
"Elder sister."
"...What did you come to do?"
Listening to that somewhat hoarse voice, Isabel's anger surged even more with nowhere to vent. She additionally glanced at the direction Yu'er was standing, hurriedly walking toward Elizabeth's bed, forcefully lifting that curtain completely, revealing the scene upon the bed.
Yet seeing upon the bed, there was a blonde-haired woman, lackluster yet combed exceptionally neatly, wearing a white robe far too loose for her, sitting and lying upon the bed. She wore a white silk ribbon concealing her eyes, clearly unable to see anything yet still looking toward the direction of the windowsill.
The side of the quilt barely covering half her body extended her emaciated arm bone-thin as firewood. But even so, she was still tidied flawlessly spotless from top to bottom, appearing to have received meticulous care.
Isabel gazed at the Elizabeth before her eyes, taking a deep breath, asking hoarsely,
"Elder sister, you clearly know why I came."
Elizabeth's head slightly lowered for a moment, she continued replying,
"I said it, won't see, even if you..."
"Enough! How long do you still want to give up on yourself like this? Why won't you see Fisher? These many years he's come so many times, you shut your doors refusing to see him entirely? Clearly he returned safely, clearly he already told you he possesses a method to cure your eyes... What about you?! Refusing him outside the doors, saying what if he forcefully insists on entering you'd rather go die, what on earth is the meaning of this?"
Isabel yet could no longer endure it. She extremely furiously tore down the bed curtain entirely, causing the wall above to emit a tearing "ripping" sound, fully sufficiently demonstrating the irritation and unwillingness within the bottom of her heart,
"Do you insist he kneels on the ground humbly begging you, or completely ignores you to feel at ease, elder sister?!"
"..."
But regardless of how the Isabel beside her, who had become the monarch of a nation for a long time by now, hoarsely shouted these to the Elizabeth before her eyes exhaustingly, she perpetually looked at the window outside motionless. Clearly she already couldn't see anything at all, yet still remained exactly like unable to hear anything.
"Driving everybody out of your bedchamber, even me seeing you requires requesting instructions from you, changing hundreds of maids within six years... Every day besides lying on the bed is lying on the bed, doing absolutely nothing, refusing to even go out to take a walk... What are you doing ah, elder sister?"
Talking as she went, Isabel uncontrollably began to choke with sobs. She covered her own face, forcing herself not to look at the residual body of the elder sister upon the bed who already couldn't be any more emaciated before her eyes. She sobbed,
"You are precisely seeking death, precisely tramping on your life like this right?"
"..."
Elizabeth merely watched the windowsill, quiet exactly like a statue that completely couldn't hear her words.
"Clearly time is this precious, clearly with great difficulty everything has passed, you precisely can't step over that hurdle... It was like this in the past, it's also like this now, sooner or later you will regret it again."
Isabel wiped the tears at the corners of her eyes. Actually she knew better than anyone where Elizabeth's knot in the heart lay, only that knot seemed right about to become a dead knot wrapping around her elder sister's neck, making her entirely helpless.
Ever since everything concluded, Fisher repeatedly requested to see Elizabeth, entirely refused by Elizabeth.
Seeking an audience unsuccessfully, Fisher therefore sent letters, throwing them in one by one, even if Isabel recited them for her it was impermissible.
Isabel could solely watch her elder sister's condition deteriorate day by day like this, watching her become depressed, lackluster, until one day she leaves her. How could this not make her angry?
Isabel took out the letter Fisher sent requesting an audience from her bosom, saying to her,
"In this letter from half a year ago Fisher already said it, this is the final letter. If still no reply, he might possibly forever no longer disturb you, think clearly."
"..."
However, Elizabeth yet turned a deaf ear. Remaining silent for a moment, merely calmly stating,
"State affairs are busy, you go busy yourself."
"...Fine."
Isabel took a deep breath, gritting her teeth tightly, tearing the letter in her hands to pieces bit by bit, tearing open a corner of the oppressive air within the palace.
Until those fragments shattered to the point of being unidentifiable fell to the ground bit by bit, Isabel finally stood up her body turning her head walking toward the doorway.
Her expression was sorrowful, unavoidably turning her head to glance toward the direction of the Yu'er behind that curtain who was currently Elizabeth's personal maid. She opened her mouth, lightly saying once again,
"Sorry for troubling you, Yu'er."
"Your Majesty Isabel, take care."
Isabel finally walked out of the palace without turning her head back. Outside the door, the Inner Court Official who absolutely entirely didn't dare to listen to the commotion inside only then breathed a sigh of relief, slowly closing the large doors shut.
"Clack clack clack clack..."
The oppressive room resumed silence anew, and that Yu'er behind the curtain walked out exactly like lackng footsteps, walking towards the place Isabel tore the letter to pieces just now.
Elizabeth couldn't see, yet her ears were exceptionally acute, moreover because of giving up on herself, her personality also became increasingly eccentric.
Surrounding her body not only could one not emit a single sound, let alone wander around casually. It required satisfying Isabel to properly take care of her elder sister, and simultaneously this wasn't allowed and that wasn't allowed, simply wasn't something humans did.
These several years the maids invited by Isabel to take care of her were innumerable, a majority unable to persist for a few days before being driven away by Elizabeth, or completely unable to bear the pressure and resigning.
Exactly as Isabel said, Elizabeth was walking herself toward a dead end.
Yet unknown if finding survival in a hopeless situation, half a year ago Isabel recruited the maid currently serving beside Elizabeth from who knows where, unexpectedly actually abruptly surviving an entire half a year beside Elizabeth forcefully, making the extremely fastidious Elizabeth entirely unable to find a reason to drive her away.
"..."
Precisely exactly like right now, a slight breeze transmitted amidst the silence, although lacking hearing footsteps, Elizabeth yet knew it was Yu'er wanting to use a broom to sweep away those letter fragments torn to pieces by Isabel.
She looked at the window, abruptly waving her hand, hoarsely stating,
"No need to sweep..."
"No need to sweep?"
That Yu'er's voice was gentle, resembling murmurs, merely hearing it thus made Elizabeth give rise to sleepiness.
Elizabeth turned her head around, utilizing eyes no longer able to see anew to look toward Yu'er's general direction.
Originally there was a curtain outside the bed, but it was just torn down by Isabel, therefore she and Yu'er subsequently possessed no more isolation.
"Let me go pour a cup of water for you."
Elizabeth forcefully propped up her own body sitting up slightly. She shook her head, stating,
"Talk... with me for a bit right."
"..."
Yu'er fell silent for a moment. Elizabeth didn't know her appearance, yet could guess her expression at this moment ought to contain astonishment.
"Alright, Your Highness, what would you like to chat about?"
"I also don't know... you just randomly say something right, alright?"
"..."
However exactly like accustomed to staying beside the preferring-quiet Elizabeth, at this moment asking Yu'er to randomly say something unexpectedly resulted in her entirely unable to speak.
Elizabeth gazed at the profound nothingness before her eyes, lightly stating,
"Then let's talk about the words Isabel said just now right."
"Me?"
"Mhm... tell me a bit of truth right, no need to have any misgivings... Do you feel, what Isabel said was correct?"
"I don't quite understand, because... mhm, my understanding regarding your affairs is very little, merely hearing a bit of specious rumors from other people. Even listening to the words of Your Highness and Her Majesty Isabel is half-understood, merely seemingly knowing you're unwilling to see a person, how could I dare to speak recklessly?"
"Knowing these is not enough?"
"...Is that person extremely important to you?"
Elizabeth's emaciated hands pinched a corner of the quilt. With a lowered head, she stated without thinking,
"Mhm... that person... is the most unspeakable secret of my youthful years, being together with him was the most beautiful time I ever experienced. Royal Mother left me since childhood, I entirely never felt the love of others. A massive royal family, unexpectedly made me act as if walking on thin ice for over ten years... People all say, three feet of ice isn't a single day's cold, but those over ten years of grudges and hatreds, when encountering him, I entirely felt them to be unimportant...
"During my youthful years, my most desired matter was precisely staying together with him for an entire lifetime. Having a family with him, a genuine family. I don't need him to be how illustrious and wealthy or how powerful, even if he possessed absolutely nothing, I am also willing to exhaust all my strength, following him without requesting anything in return."
Reaching this point in words, Elizabeth slightly paused. She sorrowfully smiled, stating,
"Merely a pity, that kind of beauty, the beauty I wanted to grasp would ultimately dissipate. My family, wars between countries, various destinies, made me walk toward his opposing side... Perhaps completely blaming destiny is truly letting it be too wronged, actually, also because of myself, because of my selfishness, because of my unwillingness...
"Therefore, those wishes of mine wanting to stay together with him forever, finally all completely turned into sharp weapons harming him; my thoughts of wanting to approach him, finally actually became the heartlessness and cruelty of pushing him away..."
Beside the bed, Yu'er remained silent for a moment, stating,
"You definitely did a lot for him."
But Elizabeth yet solely shook her head, exactly like entirely completely unremembering those past dedications toward that person, she merely whispered,
"I... I definitely am a very selfish person, I did lots of matters harming him... all these various, truly having to speak of it, were entirely for the sake of myself right..."
"Why would you say so?"
"It's because I wanted to extract the warmth and love I never obtained from him, it's because I couldn't bear to lose him, therefore I hysterically wanted to snatch him back, wanting to snatch that stretch of time back... For the sake of me being able to seize back that warmth, I deceived him time after time, placed him in dangerous situations time after time... Clearly he almost couldn't return entirely, clearly he was already heavily injured, yet still couldn't bear to watch me depart...
"Isn't it also like this right now? Regardless of whether it's me or Isabel we all know, he genuinely genuinely wants to see me... also entirely because of me, it's me who became afraid... It's the me who finished doing all these, the this me this despicable who became afraid of facing him..."
Elizabeth lowered her head, these years hiding amidst silence and stillness bit by bit precipitating out sentences in her heart, she extremely painfully dissected a bit of her own fragility,
"I don't know how I ought to repay the evil consequences produced because of my selfishness, even my own fear and stubbornness I entirely cannot cross over..."
And the reason fragility became fragility, precisely was because of its pain.
As expected, merely thinking to this extent, Elizabeth would tremble with sorrow.
The Yu'er before her eyes seemingly fell into a longer silence, when opening her mouth again, she solely asked,
"Your Highness, I already roughly understood you, want to listen to a bit of my thoughts regarding Her Majesty Isabel's words previously right?"
"...Alright, you speak right."
Elizabeth couldn't see Yu'er, thus solely able to hear her gentle voice like a lullaby, she lightly stated,
"Your Highness, if you don't want to see, then just don't see him right."
"..."
Within the darkness Elizabeth couldn't see, that maid's voice transmitted continuously,
"Although, my understanding regarding the past between you and that person is extremely little, I merely feel, if you love someone, definitely wouldn't nitpick over whom dedicated more, whom dedicated less regarding this matter, even more so unable to speak of matters concerning owing and repaying... I firmly believe, he solely hopes you can live properly. If facing him again will uncover your scars, making you feel self-blame and suffering, then let it be like this, like this is exactly fine.
"Saying words committing a great crime that Her Majesty Isabel is wrong is like this, but there's another point I feel Her Majesty Isabel said correctly. You indeed ought to properly nurture your body well, ought to walk out of the palace, even if unwilling to see him anew, also please definitely properly take care of yourself, maintaining your body well."
Elizabeth sat lying down, she upon hearing this seemingly even more precisely aimed her face toward the direction that voice transmitted from.
However amidst a patch of darkness, she still couldn't see anything whatsoever, solely able to hear that maid's voice.
Trailing along the nothingness where she completely couldn't see anything, beneath the already severed curtain beside the bed, one no longer saw a blurry human figure, replacing it, was a black-haired gentleman harboring a sad bitter smile.
That word by word gentle female voice, entirely originated from within the mouth of that black-haired gentleman.
Following the afternoon sunlight leaking through that slightly open window, illuminating his features exceptionally clearly.
It turned out these half a year, that Yu'er able to take care of this woman with a riddled soul like second nature basically absolutely wasn't anyone else, precisely exactly the Fisher Benavides she thought of day and night.
Letting it follow that seemingly existent yet seemingly not tacit understanding amidst the imperceptible, following those emotions that ceased to be harmonious a long time ago, drawing their years to the appearance nowadays.
Merely Do you not see, merely do you not speak...
Listening to the voice of "Yu'er" before her eyes, Elizabeth no longer responded, solely nodded, also didn't say agree or disagree.
She again slowly lay on the bed anew, covering the quilt upon her own delicate body.
She opened her mouth, softly stating,
"I'm sleepy, want to sleep for a while..."
"Alright, Your Highness, I will guard beside you..."
"Mhm, sorry for troubling you..."
Elizabeth's body relaxed bit by bit. For half a year, Fisher already watched her fall heavily asleep beside her bed many times, to the extent of even knowing what reactions she'd have after falling asleep entirely.
Why uniquely state guarding her?
Because she would have nightmares night after night.
Sometimes waking up sobbing with a start, sometimes fearful to the point her hands and feet cramped up, sometimes yet weak to the point unable to catch her breath.
At this time, the Yu'er beside her would perpetually perfectly pass a cup of hot water, waiting until after drinking the hot water she'd ask again,
"What time is it now?"
"Still early, please Your Highness continue resting right."
Like this repeatedly, day and night.
Today also seemingly was identically like so. Time passed minute by minute second by second, until a long time passed, only then did Elizabeth barely fall asleep.
Accompanying Elizabeth's breathing upon the bed smoothing out bit by bit, under the gaze within Fisher's pupils, her brows micro-imperceptibly knitted up anew, covered with a layer of fine cold sweat, breathing also started becoming hurried bit by bit.
"Wu..."
The nightmares arrived anew.
Fisher lowered his eyes slightly, gently picking up the fan aside, bringing a slight breeze for her, hoping to dispel the nightmare for her.
But this time, seemingly because of the argument with Isabel previously, because of those letter pieces torn into fragments completely by Isabel, the degree of that nightmare still continued to deepen.
Not purely her expression anymore, even the muscles of her four limbs started tightening up, between her chest slightly rising and falling, amidst the hoarse and weak voice, a name exactly like popping out from the deepest part of her heart,
"Fi..."
"Fisher..."
"Where are you... I'm so afraid..."
"Fisher... Fisher..."
That boundless nightmare resembling cruel torture, brought unbearable torment to the already weak Elizabeth upon the bed, making the Fisher by the bed struggle.
He looked quite worriedly at the Elizabeth upon the bed invaded extremely painfully by nightmares. He wanted to help him, yet was afraid of blowing his cover, causing the nowadays fragile soul of Elizabeth to endure further setbacks...
He was also purely worried, because of her phrase "would rather go die" previously.
"Fisher... Fisher..."
But before his eyes, the loved one's low callings, that pale face, those emaciated and incomparably cold palms, all made his inner heart unable to tolerate it.
He opened his mouth, taking a deep breath, immediately and subsequently resolutely reached out a hand toward the Elizabeth still amidst her sleep dream.
For this half a year, it was his first time not utilizing the Life Completion Manual's power to tamper with his skin and voice contacting her. He merely couldn't bear the weak loved one upon the bed enduring the torment of nightmares...
Consequently, Fisher gently reached out his hand, gently grasping the right hand she placed by her side exposed outside the quilt.
The icy coldness entering the hands was enveloped by his endless stream of warmth. Feeling that thin like bone palm, Fisher's tongue trembled micro-imperceptibly, unexpectedly momentarily entirely couldn't produce words.
But subsequently, under the premise of not disturbing her sleep, he tightly gripped her palm bit by bit.
"Don't be afraid, Elizabeth..."
He took a deep breath, utilizing his own original voice, gently saying to her,
"I'm here."
His voice exactly like possessing magic, underneath the earnestness of his body temperature, that nightmare seemed exactly like easily chased away by him.
Even her endlessly trembling limbs also recovered calmness, the hurried breathing also completely recovered regularity bit by bit...
Watching her gradually resume entirely, exactly like finally able to heavily sleep over, the bottom of Fisher's heart finally had a massive boulder fall to the ground.
He couldn't help examining her nowadays face. Finally, also for the sake of not disturbing her light sleep, wanted to loosen her hand. This way, when she wakes up, the one guarding beside her will again be that "Yu'er" who didn't leave or abandon her for half a year.
Merely, when he was about to loosen his hand, another icy cold hand didn't know when abruptly rested upon his, tightly clasping the back of his hand.
"..."
Fisher's pupils micro-shrank, slowly lifting his eyes bit by bit.
Yet seeing before his eyes, that Elizabeth lying amidst the quilt unexpectedly turned her head sideways, utilizing that silk-ribboned eyes, pale yet identical-to-the-past face looking toward him...
That heavily sleeping over, that startled fearful nightmare, entirely entirely completely dispelled without a trace just like that...
Elizabeth, it turned out hadn't fallen asleep at all.
Exclusively that face turning entirely sideways, exclusively that visage she entirely couldn't see.
"Eliza..."
Fisher subconsciously utilized Yu'er's voice to speak, but Elizabeth's two hands gripping his palm exerted force bit by bit.
She opened her dried lips, a hoarse voice finally drilling out from her heart,
"Fisher, I'm sorry..."
With Fisher's rank, with that miraculously unpredictable profound power of the Life Completion Manual, that concealment ought to precisely be seamless heavenly garments without a seam...
But, even if unable to see, even if unable to touch, even if the voice was completely different from his, resting beneath a full half year of co-companionship, that tacit understanding identically also amidst the imperceptible pointed out the direction for Elizabeth...
She knew, that person was perpetually perhaps exactly by her own side.
He said, if making you troubled, then not seeing just means not seeing then, as long as you can live properly, then it's precisely enough.
That moment, perhaps ignited her courage, making her determine her resolve to face, facing everything of their past regardless of good or bad...
Because of this, Elizabeth's voice trembled, seemingly enduring torment, identically exactly as she confessed frankly previously. Committing that sort of mistake, opposing the one she loved mutually seeking but unabtainable person having to face everything she committed was that terrifying to her...
Yet tightly gripping the loved one's hand, she still spoke aloud that calling and apology that came very late.
She said, I'm sorry.
Clearly merely identically gently calling his name once again, clearly exactly such a simple sentence of apology like that, those gratitudes and grudges entangling since their youthful period exactly exactly like thoroughly clearing completely entirely like smoke and dispersing completely like clouds...
Gazing at the Elizabeth exactly like mustering entirely all her courage tightly gripping his hand before his eyes, Fisher opened his mouth. Between the bobbing of his throat, a drop of tear actually substituted the sound to flow down first.
Those tears gathered increasingly more, exactly like possessing weight, making him uncontrollably lower his head.
He merely reached out his hand, clasping the bone-thin as firewood Elizabeth upon the bed, tightly clasping, entirely embracing her into his bosom, burying his head within her blonde hair sobbing entirely,
"That's truly wonderful, Elizabeth... that's truly wonderful..."
Feeling the loved one's breathing, feeling that heartbeat sought but unobtainable for many years, that embrace unable to be warmer again, Elizabeth exactly exactly like also recalling the impulse wanting to cry many years ago...
She tightly embraced the person before her eyes, not knowing if it was an illusion, from the edges of that silk ribbon, a droplet of gemstone-like teardrop traced along to slip down...
Amidst the silence, that fragility, that guilt, that scorching love entirely completely dropped down trailing that teardrop...
That was, the supreme treasure exclusively belonging to them.
Merely Emperor does not speak, merely Emperor do you not see.
(End of the Book)
(End of Chapter)