novelraw Chapter 763: Meaning
Chapter 763: Meaning
Amidst a patch of dead stillness and darkness, beneath the insurmountable cosmic void, Fisher's consciousness was exceptionally ethereal and ignorant. Yet within that patch of empty void, he seemingly felt absolutely unprecedented tranquility, exactly like sprinting across an endless wilderness, recklessly abandoning everything yet seeming to bear everything...
Until a certain moment, he seemingly heard the call or the despairing tearful complaint of some existence.
"Why... exactly what meaning of existence does this universe possess? Almighty supreme Lord, please tell us, this group of mayflies struggling beneath Your majestic power, tell us the meaning of Your descent into the world..."
That tearful complaint made him halt his steps, made him open his eyes...
And entering his vision, was a patch of gloomily deep darkness.
Fisher's eye pupils changed from a diffused, star-like glow bit by bit back into pupils akin to humans. That voice made him uncomfortable, yet drove him to sit up and size up his surroundings.
"Swish swish... swish..."
The surroundings were incomparably tranquil, solitarily the eternally accompanying sound akin to ocean waves patting the coast, as well as the gloomy murmur-like song.
And he was precisely floating exactly in the center of this patch of darkness, suspended above that boundless dark ocean yet forever never plummeting.
Fisher lowered his gaze, looking at his chest. There, his soul had already recovered to its original state, and he could also feel that residing deep within that soul was that seemingly innate property.[Nothingness]
"You're awake, my dear..."
Accompanied by the sound of receding tides, a familiar female voice echoed by his ear, prompting the light of his eyes to rise and look ahead.
In the gloomily deep darkness ahead, some indescribable existence was wandering within. Solitarily a pair of massive yet blurry blue-gold eyes looked at him...
Looking closely, they seemingly weren't eyes, but rather two mirrors encompassing countless starry skies, exactly like plucking out all galaxies emitting the spark of civilization from the vast darkness, igniting the flames of soul and consciousness...
The melody played when that "flame" burned, was precisely an extremely complex song.
And the existence behind this pair of massive blue-gold eyes, was exactly the true body of that so-called Helaire, Gui...
"[Ocean]..."
"Hehe, calling me that isn't wrong either... legends have circulated many names of mine. Those already deceased ancients, the cowards currently still existing occasionally circulate my existence..."
"..."
Briefly pausing for a second, that darkness seemingly squirmed. Subsequently, a female wearing a white robe with short golden curly hair walked out from within.
Fisher couldn't be more familiar with that appearance; it was the angel named "Helaire".
Barefoot, Helaire walked smilingly before Fisher. Her authentic pair of blue-gold eyes gradually overlapped with the massive yet blurry blue-gold symbol behind her, occupying almost Fisher's entire line of sight.
Her fair palms reached out from the slender white robe and gathered the hem of her skirt. She sat sideways in a ladylike manner, smilingly telling Fisher,
"Conversing with you using an appearance you are more familiar with should make it easier for you..."
Looking at the angel before him, Fisher inevitably glanced back behind him. There was completely empty there; that so-called new world had already gone far away from him, solitarily leaving him behind here.
He slowly withdrew his line of sight, asking Helaire,
"What about those numerous deities outside the Barrier?"
"They're all dead."
"..."
Smilingly, Helaire propped her chin. The surrounding darkness gradually dispersed somewhat, revealing the environment of the universe outside.
Yet externally, the corpses broken beyond recognition of countless massive deities were piled up together. And due to Their massive mass attracting surrounding celestial bodies, an eruption of collisions occurred within a short timeframe, subsequently followed by a light countless times more dazzling than fireworks...
"Don't look at me with such a gaze, aren't I very gentle, I wouldn't do so unless necessary. It's merely that, knowing of your and my existence is a dose of poison accelerating arrival at the final destination for this universe..."
But right here, deep wrapped by the Ocean's darkness, everything remained tranquil.
"So, now everything has ended, and we can finally have a proper talk for the first time."
The surrounding darkness anew covered the world-destroying scenes outside, shrouding them within. Before that, Helaire's voice, gentle as the moon, transmitted over, pulling Fisher's thoughts back.
"Indeed... we can finally have a proper talk."
Seeing the scene outside, he finally relaxed a bit. He similarly sat crossing his legs, sitting before Helaire. Raising his head to look squarely at her consistently smiling face,
"I merely find it hard to imagine, a true god like You possessing such unimaginable mighty power, what You seek, could it merely be a partner like me? Even if it's because the property within my body shares the same origin as You, such a reason is somewhat too absurd and laughable."
However, hearing this, Helaire merely calmly shook her head, saying,
"Seek a partner? My dear, you seem to have misunderstood something. You do not need me to seek you; long before your consciousness was born, we were innately partners. Even if your soul hadn't appeared, you and I would constantly reside together. This is indubitable, and won't change either."
Fisher opened his mouth, seemingly finding her words hard to comprehend. He could only ask,
"Then why..."
"Then why still do so much?"
Helaire gave a faint smile, yet the expression on her face gradually became tinged with a divinity hard for Fisher to read. Her eyes seemingly burst forth with an extremely ancient meaning, exactly like a song, a lyric,
"My dear, to you and me, this world is a throne, a throne wielded by you and me in turn, created in turn... but from beginning to end, we have never been separated. Regardless of who wields it, sitting upon the throne is simultaneously the two of us...
"We, are partners innately opposite, innately independent yet mutually blending, mutually one body. Regardless of whether you have consciousness, whether I exist, from beginning to end, you are the same to me, and I am the same to you too."
Fisher's eye pupils shrunk bit by bit. The Helaire before his eyes seemingly also finally took off the layers upon layers of masks She wore within the world, merely using a straightforward voice to announce this theorem.
"You didn't know, outside the Barrier, is a magnificent world trillions of times grander than the world created by those few little fellows, an expanse even light spending its entire life running cannot reach the end of. Starting from an explosion, all things grew, and space and time were finalized from then on. Powerful living beings were born embracing power twisting the world, full of curiosity pursuing the unknown; while the somewhat weaker ones gathered together, residing on celestial bodies capable of bearing their civilizations, looking far into the distance observing the near or far lights in the sky day and night...
"Everything today stems from my Authority, the current universe is my era. But before this universe was born, you once wielded it."
Helaire waved her hand. Everything around began twisting, the existences of all things began being unraveled, being annihilated, solitarily leaving darkness, as well as the increasingly bright property on his chest...
"In that unimaginable, ancient era, before I detonated the singularity to form everything today, you... the blind and ignorant [Nothingness] used void yet incomparably powerful Law to govern annihilation. That universe wasn't completely bright, yet was trillions of times quieter than the current universe. There, it collapsed at all times. Rather, collapse was precisely the essence of that universe. Void and meaninglessness were the voices there..."
Within the surrounding world voided of everything, Fisher felt himself as if being melted; not melting in the physical sense, but his entire existence was collapsing.
That was an era with extremely chaotic dimensions, completely devoid of order, filled with annihilation and light.
But exactly in such an environment, he unexpectedly abnormally felt familiarity and intimacy, just like what he felt when he was asleep, sprinting across the wilderness until peacefully melting thoroughly into that wilderness...
Until, an incomparably mournful voice exploded by his ear,
"Why... exactly what meaning of existence does this universe possess? Almighty supreme Lord, please tell us, this group of mayflies struggling beneath Your majestic power, tell us the meaning of Your descent into the world..."
Fisher fiercely jolted awake from that state, and the surrounding voided everything also slowly withdrew into Fisher's chest, causing the darkness-shrouded universe to regain that fullness.
That was, a fullness named [Existence].
"But exactly as I said, we have always been partners together. Hence regardless of whether in my era or your era, our respective properties will simultaneously exist. Exactly like how the universe outside the Barrier is filled with annihilation everywhere, within your era, similarly miraculously born was [One] civilization.
"They arduously struggled within your ignorant and blind void, using an unimaginably long stretch of time, using generation after generation of precious 'consciousness of existence' to accumulate the courage to live on. Ultimately, exerting the surplus ardors of millions of generations, they arrived before you, using painful voices to launch questioning toward your absolute authority... they used your void to end your void and ignorant rule. And my rule, was also born amidst their perishing, arriving at today's period where countless kinds of consciousness, civilizations, and deities exist..."
Fisher furrowed his brows, he seemingly felt absolutely unprecedented feeling from Helaire's soft narration.
That continuously annihilating, blindly ignorant universe represented [Nothingness], but merely its existence represented [Existence], hence consciousness and civilization were born from within that crevice.
And that consciousness in turn destroyed the previous universe, thereby switching the king upon the throne, ultimately arriving at the era of [Existence].
"These civilizations and deities existing amidst the universe, they ceaselessly move, resonate, and collide day and night gathering into a song. And I, most of the time, merely listen on the side, listening to its beauty. Powerful deities wish to question the world, intending to explore its mysteries, questioning its meaning... little knowing, [Existence itself is meaning].
"Your guess is not wrong. Exactly because Ramastia understood this point, so when They created this world, from beginning to end I merely intended to be an onlooker, watching it be born naturally, perish naturally, nothing more."
Looking at Helaire, Fisher couldn't resist opening his mouth to question,
"Then, why did You still destroy the Barrier?"
Unexpectedly, Helaire mischievously blinked her left eye, saying smilingly,
"One matter is one matter, Them taking you away is a crime indeed. As punishment, I shattered the Barrier... moreover, making this already precarious ship even more perilous makes the song even more interesting as well, is it not?"
"..."
Sure enough, Her innate nature was exactly so.
Fisher gave a sigh. After a moment of speechlessness, he asked anew,
"But, why did You place my property within that patch of Sea of Souls, to the extent of letting Ramastia and the others take it away without knowing, furthermore, why could a soul contain my property?"
"Hm, all existences in the world would be devoured by your Authority subsequently plummeting into the void, solitarily consciousness can suppress this point... It's not because the souls I created possessed such mighty power, it's merely because those souls are clumsy imitations of my song, and of everything in this world, solitarily I who share a symbiotic existence with you will not be devoured by you."
Helaire's blue-gold eyes neared Fisher bit by bit, that pair of eyes exactly like the ocean, intent on dissolving Fisher,
"I frequently changed the Stream of Souls containing you, because that was not solely a restriction on your Authority, it was similarly the same toward those souls sealing you. They also possessed the right to enter physical bodies and compose their own lives. When a certain time passed, I would set that patch of souls free, and afterwards temporarily conscript another patch of souls to wrap your property...
"These souls originate from different civilizations, having not been washed clean. The patch currently wrapping you comes from a nearby civilization. Ever since birth, you have lived using this civilization as your foundational undertone. And when Ramastia stole you away, it was precisely when I was preparing to change this patch of souls and set them free... however, in consideration of Ramastia and the others letting these souls reincarnate into physical body lives inside the Barrier anew, I won't settle this crime with that world anymore."
As the finale, Helaire still slowly sat up straight, pulling the topic back,
"Let's return to the most initial question, my dear... Precisely because from an unknown number of past cycles, you who are the void never gave birth to consciousness. When you wielded the universe, everything was constantly perfectly blind and ignorant, yet differences erupted within this universe, on this timeline...
"This is perhaps an opportunity, my dear... in the ensuing time, I will bring you to feel the [Meaning] of the universe's existence. In this way, after a prolonged stretch of time has passed, perhaps it can make some changes toward goodness. In this way, when the Authority cycles to your hands and the universe returns to chaos anew, everything perhaps will all be different...
"Therefore, I only then showed myself from the shadows, not hesitating to roughly intervene in the universe's operation, precisely to take you away."
Facing the Helaire who at this moment explained everything clearly, who was completely sincere, Fisher had half-baked understanding.
This was truly ordinary. After all, from his perspective, it was impossible for him to instantly understand Helaire's intentions departing from such a macro angle of the primordial universe...
He also understood, exactly because of this bewilderment within his heart, did Helaire have the reason to take him away.
"..."
Yet thoughts had already squeezed to his chest, yet something plugged them, rendering him unable to easily agree.
He abruptly recalled Raphaela, she was still waiting for himself to bring the souls back...
He abruptly recalled Jasmine, having finally with great difficulty gotten the opportunity to fill past regrets for her...
He abruptly recalled Valentiina, they clearly just agreed previously to go see Colorful-Winged Whales together...
He thought of Alajina again, she was constantly waiting for himself to bear responsibility, and give her a home; what about Eliog, she was likely also looking forward to seeing him upon waking up right.
His past regrets with Elizabeth hadn't been clearly spoken yet, he exhausted his everything to pull her back from error, could it really solely be to punish her?
He had seen how she moaned his name while being riddled with gaping wounds inside the tent, looking forward to his extending a hand to save her when she lost her eyes and was struggling to advance forward...
Renee...
Right, there was also Renee.
Himself was the only person inside that world she was familiar with and could rely upon. After he left, she wouldn't know anyone in that world. Even the neither-friend-nor-foe Ramastia and the others were all dead. Was he going to leave her there like this?
This...
Fisher opened his mouth. Looking at the gently extending hand of Helaire before him, he gritted his teeth, caressing his chest.
There wasn't the restlessness of the [Nothingness] Authority there, what there was, was solely the continuously leaping heartbeat,
"Thump thump... thump... thump..."
"I..."
Fisher's eye pupils trembled slightly. Subsequently, he gently raised his head to look at Helaire, softly telling her,
"I don't want to go anywhere."
"..."
Helaire's body didn't move, solitarily behind her, within that inexhaustible darkness, the indescribability of the colossal monster amidst those eyes abruptly surged.
But feeling the squirming darkness before him, Fisher still remained completely unmoving. He merely sat upright and still, looking straight at the Helaire before him.
"..."
Before his eyes, the humanoid body seemingly maintained motionlessness like a doll, until after maintaining silence for a good while, did the Helaire before his eyes withdraw her hand anew.
The divinity within her blue-gold, smile-carrying eyes grew increasingly profound, yet didn't bring any terrifying pressure.
She gently crouched down her body. Giving a sigh, she said,
"Well, perhaps this sort of anomaly is itself also a kind of meaning of existence..."
"What do you mean?"
"Remember that game we played ten thousand years ago?"
Helaire merely smiled, asking back like so.
"Game?" While Fisher very quickly recalled the details back then, he tentatively said, "One cost, three blessings..."
Helaire nodded in satisfaction. Subsequently counting on her fingers, she reminded Fisher,
"Yes... ten thousand years ago, because of the need to ensure the timeline of your consciousness's birth, forcefully taking you away was already no longer possible. Therefore, I cast down two blessings for you, to aid you and this world in tiding over the difficulty. One is the [World-Ending Prophecy], one is the [Infinity Authority]..."
Following the still-upright index finger remaining before Fisher's eyes, Helaire further added,
"Originally within the timeline I observed, it was impossible for you to discover my true intentions no matter what, hence ultimately you wouldn't use an open scheme to force my final avatar to show herself and save your soul either. Therefore, according to the original timeline, one avatar of mine would still be left inside the current Barrier. And my final blessing was exactly to bring out the avatar, preserving that world. When the time arrived, the three blessings completely fulfilled, you should also honor the cost, coming away with me..."
Indeed, actually until prior to the final moment, he consistently believed the Ocean came for the property within his body.
Although there were some contradictions along the way, these contradictions couldn't be explained, and mostly could be fobbed off using cherishing of the property.
If having to forcibly thank whoever made Fisher think through the critical points within this...
Fisher couldn't help but reach out to stroke the already shriveled up, solely leaving a cover [Demi-Human Girl Completion Handbook] on his chest.
Immediately after, his gaze also grew even more resolute.
He had to return.
"But now, you won this game, my dear. As a part of the promise, I can inform you where the Barrier-wrapped world is now... Back then the strength Azanroth designed for this small world where He himself hid away, was not as simple as constantly remaining on the spot. You possess Azanroth's blessing; until sending you to the Barrier, the Barrier will reveal itself allowing you to pass through. As for my passing through, I must drag that coward out to accomplish it..."
Fisher's heart couldn't help but tighten. A sense of excitement seemingly gushing from the depths of his soul surged into his heart, making his body tremble uncontrollably.
Yet the Helaire before his eyes seemingly possessed clairvoyance, adding the words that followed,
"But my dear, you ought to know, the deadline for returning won't be forever..."
The surrounding darkness slowly dispersed like clouds and mist, exposing the vast universe outside erupting with light amidst destruction. And beyond that, there were still countless specks of stars traversing the universe. Within them were perhaps the sparks of civilizations, also concealing incredibly powerful deities of unknown numbers...
Helaire looked at the celestial bodies undergoing annihilation outside. Her smile gradually turned expressionless,
"Just like this universe, even powerful likes as you and me cannot avoid the moment it ushers in its end; exactly as all lives understand, there will be a day in the future, the nightmare named 'Death' will come knocking, my dear."
The corners of her mouth curled up slightly. Withdrawing her gaze from that dazzling annihilation, she turned to look at the Fisher before her similarly looking at that annihilation,
"You today are [Human]. That is because from birth you were put into the human body forged by that Transferred Person. But your soul, the property within your body determines that you will break away from this identity one day. And now, you are merely thirty years old. Everything you are concerned about will turn to flying ash within the long river of time. This is an unavoidable cosmic truth determined by the property within your body. However, solitarily you are not so, you will endure forever like me...
"Therefore, when your inner heart goes completely empty due to the perishing of everything, that will be the time I show myself to pick you up and leave from within that world...
"Even knowing the outcome early on, you still want to return, my dear?"
Hearing this, Fisher's eyes unavoidably lowered somewhat. The corners of his mouth hooked into a hint of a helpless arc, but perhaps it was driven by a bit of unwillingness within his heart, making him unable to resist joking,
"Inner heart going completely empty due to perishing... Are you saying, after Raphaela and the others vanish? You know, I am a greedy person, perhaps in the possibly infinitely long years of the future I will ceaselessly seek new loves to fill the vacancy within my inner heart? This way, I will never leave together with you."
But Helaire seemingly had already seen through everything. She merely said completely uncaringly,
"If you wish to do so, do as you please... because I know, the cavity when that time comes won't be filled no matter what. Only returning to my side will make you feel satisfied. And even if my dear you stubbornly choose to try, relative to the time scale we are together I spoke of, that is nothing more than an insignificant stretch of time..."
Listening and listening, the smile on Fisher's face unavoidably faded bit by bit.
And until the very end, the smile on his face also gradually turned into a smear of relief. He immediately opened his mouth, more sincere than any previous time.
He said,
"You're right, after all, I've already turned over a new leaf."
"Hehe... Then, are you still choosing to return, my dear?"
This time, there were no other assorted colors in Fisher's eyes. He merely nodded even more resolutely,
"Ah, I must return. Perhaps, to You this is nothing more than a narrow stretch of time, perhaps even that miniature world inside the Barrier is nothing more than this either. But, among all things born, their meaning is bestowed by themselves... Since currently my soul and property are trapped within this physical body, then let me temporarily search to complete the meaning of a human."
Helaire smiled radiantly, yet this image Fisher couldn't be more familiar with gradually began twisting, exactly like flowers in a mirror or the moon reflected in water, gradually dissolving within a patch of darkness.
Only that upon the very end, the smile on her face remained.
She said,
"Humans huh... hehe..."
Subsequently, the entire universe seemingly became narrow before Her darkness. Within that darkness the Ocean's true body dragged along Fisher and streaked across myriad things momentarily.
Countless distant planets and galaxies around them abruptly refreshed in movements approaching teleportation. When they halted, the Ocean brought Fisher before a stretch of space appearing extremely expansive, where nothing existed.
Only that when the Ocean paused here, Fisher knew, lurking within the seemingly completely empty space before his eyes, was exactly the [New World] wrapped beneath that massive Barrier.
The darkness before his eyes gradually dispersed, forming a massive pathway. And at the end of the pathway, seemingly sensing Fisher carrying Azanroth's blessing, that Barrier gradually flickered with golden light, gradually illuminating this sector of the dark universe.
Fisher's heartbeat quickened bit by bit. His footsteps also seemed drawn by that tangible golden light, walking toward that gradually opening golden Barrier uncontrollably.
His face was illuminated bit by bit. Yet at the end, he turned his head back to look behind him anew.
Behind him, within a patch of viscous darkness, that indescribability resembling a pair of blue-gold eyes quietly observed him.
Subsequently, the Ocean smilingly told Fisher,
"Go, savior, enjoy everything you won, compose its new chapters today."
"..."
Fisher looked at the darkness behind him. He originally wanted to say some words of farewell, yet for some unknown reason, arriving at his throat, the words dissolved soundlessly instead.
It was as if he knew, this fundamentally wasn't a farewell to begin with.
Perhaps exactly as the Ocean said, they fundamentally wouldn't be separated to begin with, so what talk was there of farewell then?
Thus, before leaving, he smiled and softly said to the Helaire behind him,
"We... will meet again later."
"..."
The Ocean didn't respond, merely acting like that profoundly meaningful angel, quietly watching him leave carrying a profound and unfathomable smile.
The golden light gradually devoured Fisher, incorporating him anew into the world he was born in, making him gradually vanish within that patch of golden light, no longer to be found.
(End of Chapter)