The Deity Entertainment Network

Chapter 232 – KONOSUB-AHHH!!

John floated for a moment in blackness, then found himself sitting on a simple wooden chair, surrounded by a dark void, with dozens of glowing blue crystals hovering at its edges. The immediate area was lit by an unseen light source, revealing a black-and-white checkerboard floor beneath him and another couple of pieces of furniture in front of him. 

A slightly more ornate white high-backed chair sat in front of him, with an end table placed beside it. Both had some golden trim, but it was fairly subdued and not enough to be considered gaudy. Other than that, he was alone.

Now what? 

*Click, Click, Click, Click*

The sounds of heels clicking on the floor caused him to turn around. Walking towards him was an attractive young woman with long, light-blue hair and unblemished, fair skin. She was wearing an armless blue mini dress with white and gold trim, with matching thigh-high boots and arm sleeves. She looked to be about a D or E-Cup, but her breasts were well hidden behind the dress's fabric. Unlike her beautiful bottom, which kept appearing as she walked, her tiny dress did little to hide it.

John barely noticed any of that, as he was stuck on how beautiful her Aquamarine-coloured eyes were, an ageless depth that did not quite match the rest of her appearance. He felt he could lose himself for hours in those eyes.

"Kazuma Satou, welcome to the afterlife." She said, her voice almost sounding magical as she walked past him, her hair flowing behind her, along with a translucent pink shawl that seemed to be floating along with her. She sat down and closed her eyes before continuing. "A few moments ago, you passed on. My condolences."

Huh? I didn't just die. Is this just how this anime starts? Wait? Is my name Kazuma in this story?

"Your life was quite short, and now you are quite dead." She said, opening her eyes. She blinked a few times at him. "Wait. You're not Kazuma. Who are you?" 

"My name is John Wayne, darling. Did you grab the wrong guy or something?"

"John Wayne? There was no John Wayne on the schedule today." She said, then grabbed the book off the stand beside her and flipped through a few pages. "Hmm... Kazuma, Hitashi, Ichasia... No, I have no J's scheduled for today. Why are you here? How did you even get here?" She asked him, sounding confused, the magic tone in her voice disappearing entirely.

"I walked through a door, and I was here." He said as truthfully as he could, not wanting to bring DEN up again. 

"Hmm... Let me see." She said, slamming the book closed and walking over to him. She had a cute sway to her step that caused her hips to shake and her breasts to jiggle like she didn't have a bra on at all. 

"What are you-" He started to ask, but she grabbed his head before he could finish. A screen flashed up beside them, showing a scene he had tried very hard to forget.

He was lying broken against the side of a vulture hoverbike, his hand shakily holding a pistol. The noise, the sounds, and the smells of that evening permeated through the air, bringing him back to the moment he was last killed. 

*Rrrreeeekkkk Tictictic*

*Cuurrrr Cuurrrr*

His adrenaline started to pump, his fight-or-flight response kicking in. He had a white-knuckle grip on his sword, ready to draw it on the image projected in front of him. All he could see were shadows moving in the dim light, his pistol searching for a target.

"What in my name is that?" She asked, staring at the screen. Before he could answer, it happened.

*KRRRREEEEE!*

*BANG*

"EEEEEKKKK!!!" The woman screamed, jumping into his arms. He let go of his sword just in time to catch her, pulling her in close to his body.

"That is a zergling," John said, his eye never leaving the now paused screen. "I don't know much about them, other than there are millions of the damn little things invading human space, alongside bigger and scarier creatures than that."

"That was terrifying." She said, tears coming from her eyes.

"Easy. It's going to be okay." He said, rocking her gently in his arms for a moment as she cried. "Wait, aren't you some sort of goddess? Why would you be terrified of that?" John asked, already having collected himself. He wasn't the same weak old man he was when that happened, but by God, that beast still haunted his dreams from time to time.

She turned to look at him; her aquamarine eyes seemed to be boring into his very soul. "I can be powerful yet still be scared of something like that. I was never much for horror movies." She said. She stared back into his eye for a few minutes, then realized she was still clinging to him. "Ah... you can put me down now."

"Of course, darlin', just a moment." He replied, realizing he had lost himself in her eyes as he did with Xiaolin's. 

Must be a goddess thing.

"Well, John. I'm the Goddess Aqua." She said, standing in front of him. She had a little blush in her cheeks now, apparently a little embarrassed from that jump. "When a young person dies in Japan, it's my job to guide them to the afterlife."

"But I didn't die in Japan. That time, I died on a planet called Mar Sara. Not to mention, I have granddaughters older than you look." John said.

"Yes, this is all quite peculiar." She replied, then gave him a sniff. "Were you a holy knight in a past life? I could always use more followers like you."

"I'm a Paladin, though I don't answer to any particular faith, just my own code."

"A Paladin that isn't attached to a god or faith? That is rather... unique." 

"Depending on who you ask, a paladin can be many things. You may say I learned the teachings of The Light, but I follow my own path." 

"The Light? Who is that under? That isn't some offshoot of the Eris Cult, is it?"

"I have no clue what you are talking about. I just got here, remember."

"Of course I remember. I am a goddess, I remember everything!" 

"Then why am I here?"

"That!... I don't know." She admitted. "Let me root around your memories for a bit. Maybe I can find out why you are here and not that Kazuma kid."

"If you must. I'll warn you now, you might get frightened again." He replied. The rest of his brushes with death were hovering at the forefront of his mind right then, brought out from wherever he pushed them to by her jogging his memories. That giant Javarian ship, the orc that slashed his face, and being nearly blown to pieces by that Hunchback came to mind, though there were a few other things floating around too.

"I'll be fine. It was a jump scare, and I wasn't prepared. Just let me- AHHH!!!! What was that thing?" She screamed, ending up in his arms again. 

"Which thing? I've had a bunch of close calls with powerful things." He asked after he calmed her down by rocking her again.

If she is that jumpy at a memory, isn't she kind of useless as a goddess? 

"It was big and came out of a weird-looking ocean, then glared down on you with that terrifying eye."

"Oh? That thing? No clue. It entered my mind after I healed myself from a zombie bite."

"Zombies? Aliens? Different planets? Crazy looking creatures. You can't be from Earth. What exactly are you?"

"Born and raised in Texas, darlin. As for the rest... well, it's complicated."

"No way... This has to be some sort of trick. It has to be, it doesn't make any sense."

"I don't know what to tell ya. I have just lived an interesting life."

Just then, a white portal opened above them, and another goddess descended from it. She was dressed much more conservatively, wearing a purple-and-white nun's habit over her slim body. She had fairly long white hair and bottomless purple eyes that drew John in almost as much as Aqua's.  

"Don't you two look cute together."

"What are you doing here, Eris?" Aqua hissed, extracting herself from John's arms yet again. "And I'm not the cute one. I am refined elegance and an eternal beauty. You are the cute one." She said, flicking her hair to the side and posing slightly.

John would be hard-pressed to say who was the more beautiful of the two. Though with the attitude that Aqua was showing, Eris was winning out. Sure, she seemed to have less curves than Aqua, but she was an ethereal beauty just the same.

Damn it, man. You don't even know what is going on here. She might have good reason to hiss at this other goddess. Keep it in your pants for a day at least.

"I'm here because you clearly cannot figure it out. He is from DEN, silly."

"DEN? DEN... What is DEN?"

"You know, the Deity Entertainment Network?"

"Nope. Can't say that I do."

"Reincarnators who bounce around to different worlds."

"Nada"

"The Gods of the Omni?"

"Umm..."

"The bosses, bosses?"

"Wait, what?"

"You really are a hopeless goddess, aren't you. No wonder we can't get anywhere in the Parallel World with you in charge."

"Hey, take that back! I'm a wonderful goddess."

"I will not. You have the memory of a goldfish and the morals of a used car salesman. I would ask what you are supposed to do if someone from DEN shows up, but clearly you cannot remember even that much."

"It's a big manual, okay. I can't be expected to remember everything!"

"Well, that's funny, because I do." She said, then turned to John and gave him a bow. "Apologies, John. Aqua is a little rough around the edges, but she has a good heart…usually. We will send you along to the Parallel World now with the boon the original protagonist was sent with."

"Sure. I have no idea what is going on, but I'll roll with it."

"She didn't even explain that much?" Eris replied, then glared at Aqua, who seemed to shrink back for a moment and half hid behind him.

"Well, the original boon was..." She said, then pulled out a little booklet from somewhere in her habit and flipped a few pages. "Hah, well, maybe you will learn a little humility while you're away, milady, though I doubt it. Lady Aqua will explain what is going on later, John. She is generally good at that part of her job."

Before he could reply, a blue circle of power surrounded both of them, and they started to levitate into the air. 

"Wait! Where am I going? What is happening, Eris!" Aqua screamed, pounding on the side of the cylinder of magic that was carrying them somewhere into the darkness above them.

"Good luck on your journey to defeat the demon king, Lady Aqua. Don't worry, Angel will cover your duties while you are gone."

"Wait! What did that book say? ERIS!"

"You're his boon, Lady Aqua. Have a good trip! And I do think you make a cute couple!"

"NOOO!!! I DON'T WANT TO GO DOWN THERE. MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STOP! WHANNNN!!!!"

"Calm down. You'll be fine. Seriously, how bad could it be?" John said, grasping the crying goddess from behind and hugging her again. She seemed to calm down a bit from the contact, leaning heavily on his chest as she cried. At least she stopped hitting things.

She didn't have a chance to reply to him before they were plunged into the darkness and teleported away.

Eris continued to watch where her 'senior' had disappeared to for a few moments, then tucked the little notebook of instructions away. "I can't believe she forgot about those contestants from DEN. I just hope he is up to the task of watching over her. Maybe I should check in on them in a few days."