novelraw Chapter 124 Standoff
Chapter 124 Standoff
Before Lu Xiran could even open the notebook, a hand reached out from behind and snatched it away.
She paused for a moment, then looked up.
Gu Yanshen stood in front of her.
He didn't know when he came out of the study, nor how long he had been standing there watching her. At this moment, he stood a step away, his brows furrowed, his eyes as dark as unyielding ink.
He clutched the notebook in his hand, his knuckles turning white.
"Why can't I see it?" She stood up and looked up at him.
Gu Yanshen did not speak.
I just looked at her.
There was a lot in those eyes—restraint, forbearance, and a little bit of fear that she couldn't understand?
What is he afraid of?
"Lu Xiran." His voice was low, as low as dust crushed from his chest, "What exactly do you want?"
Lu Xiran took a step forward.
Very close.
I was so close I could smell the familiar scent of cedar on him.
"Give me."
she says.
Gu Yanshen took a step back.
He frowned and shook his head.
The movement was very light, yet it was like a wall standing between them.
Lu Xiran took another step forward.
"I said—give it to me!"
She glared at him, her eyes red-rimmed, but she didn't back down an inch.
Gu Yanshen looked at her.
Looking at the tears in her eyes, her slightly trembling lips, and her stubbornness as she was about to cry.
He clutched the notebook, his knuckles already white and bloodless.
"You should go back now."
"I'm not going back."
Lu Xiran's voice suddenly softened, becoming so soft it sounded like she was about to cry.
"I don't want to leave..."
"slowly!"
"Uncle!"
She interrupted him, her voice rising suddenly and then breaking into fragments.
Why?
She asked.
Why?
Tears finally fell.
One by one, they fell onto the floor.
"I still can't understand..." her voice trembled, "Why? Why did you suddenly stop loving me?"
She raised her hand to wipe away her tears, but the more she wiped, the more tears flowed.
"I told myself that you don't love me anymore. I told myself that it's been three years and it's time to let go. I kept telling myself that the words you said were true—you don't love me anymore, you don't want me anymore, I'm just a substitute, I've been a joke from beginning to end."
She looked at him.
"But……"
Her voice choked.
"But every memory, every scene I recall, reminds me of how much you loved me!"
Her tears flowed uncontrollably.
"You remember I'm afraid of the cold, and you always warm my hands first in winter. You remember I wake up in the middle of the night from nightmares, and you always leave a small nightlight on, holding me tight the moment I move. You remember I need to hold something to sleep, so even when your hands are stiff, you can't bear to move them. You remember every movie I like, every color I hate, all my habits, all my preferences, all my ramblings—you remember so much, how could you not love me?!"
She took a step forward.
Very close.
I was so close I could see the layer of something he was trying so hard to suppress in his eyes.
"Uncle! You told me you were going to be with Song Zhihe! But you kept my things, my photos, and you're living in the house we used to live in—how can I believe you? Why should I believe you?"
She pointed to the photos under the sofa cushions, to the notebook he had snatched, and to every corner of the room.
"You think I didn't see them? Those photos under the TV cabinet, the keychain I gave you in the entryway drawer, the apron I used in the kitchen—it's been three years, Gu Yanshen, three years! Why are you keeping these things?"
Gu Yanshen did not speak.
He just stood there, like a statue.
"And last night..."
"You were given a traditional Chinese medicine treatment last night."
He interrupted her.
The sound was very fast, so fast it seemed as if it was trying to cover something up.
Lu Xiran was stunned.
Then she laughed.
The smile was faint, so faint it seemed mocking.
"The Chinese medicine was given by me, not you."
Gu Yanshen was speechless.
"I was drugged, I took the initiative, I clung to you—but what about you?" She looked at him. "And you, Gu Yanshen? If you really didn't love me at all, why did you respond to me? Why did you hold me so tightly? Why did you keep calling Ranran's name in my ear?"
Her tears flowed even more fiercely.
"How can you expect me to pretend I didn't see or hear any of this?"
Gu Yanshen's Adam's apple bobbed violently.
He looked at her.
Looking at her tears, her questions, and her eyes that were broken yet still waiting for an answer.
He so wanted to tell her—
I miss her so much I'm going crazy.
I miss her so much I can barely stand it anymore.
For the past three years, he has relied on memories of her to get through every night without her.
But he couldn't say it.
When he closes his eyes, he still sees that day from three years ago.
She lay on the hospital bed, her face as white as paper, the bloodstains beneath her shocking. The doctor said her uterine wall was too thin, and she would have difficulty conceiving again.
He knew that Su Lanzhi had someone behind her.
They knew those people were still watching from the shadows.
He knew that as long as she was by his side, she would always be a target.
He can't gamble anymore.
He was terrified.
Gu Yan took a deep breath.
When I opened my eyes again, the floating layer had already subsided.
"slowly."
His voice was terribly hoarse.
You don't understand men.
Lu Xiran was stunned.
"What do you mean?"
"A man..." He paused, as if carefully choosing each word, "can sleep with someone he doesn't love."
Lu Xiran's face turned pale.
"Are you saying—you can sleep with me, but you don't love me, is that right?"
She gave a cold laugh.
The laughter was very soft, as soft as a sigh.
Light as the last glimmer of hope, slowly crumbling away.
Gu Yanshen did not speak.
silence.
Like a knife, hanging between the two people.
"……yes."
The word he uttered was as light as a feather, yet as heavy as a blow to her heart.
Lu Xiran's tears welled up again.
But she didn't wipe it.
She just looked at him.
Looking at him standing there, looking at him clutching that notebook tightly yet still saying those words, looking at the unfathomable look in his eyes that he couldn't suppress.
"Oh."
she laughs.
"Are you so eager to prove you're a scumbag?"
"slowly……"
"Don't call me!"
She yelled it out.
The sound echoed in the empty living room.
She looked at him.
Looking at this person she had loved for three years, hated for three years, yet could never let go of.
"Open the master bedroom door."
she says.
He spoke slowly and deliberately.
"Right now, I just want to see what's inside."
She took a step forward.
Very close.
They were so close that they were practically touching.
She looked up at him.
Tears blurred her vision, yet she refused to back down.
"Just let me see it once—"
She paused.
The voice suddenly softened, as soft as if making a wish.
"If there's nothing inside... if I'm just overthinking it... I won't bother you anymore."
She looked at him.
"Gu Yanshen, I promise."
"Let me see you. Just one look. Then I'll leave. Go back to Switzerland. And never come back."
The living room was extremely quiet.
All that remained were her suppressed breathing and the faint cracking of his knuckles in his clenched fist.
The two of them just looked at each other.
Not a single one will be refunded.
Not a single one will be allowed.