She Wants to Divorce Me

Chapter 18

The prolonged silence evoked a sense of panic in Ji Yaoguang. She looked at Chang Yu helplessly, like a child who had done something wrong. Only when she heard a calm "Sit down" did she slightly relax, seeing no signs of anger from Chang Yu. She feared losing control, afraid that this small transgression might once again widen the distance between them, a closeness she had only recently achieved.

"Why do you act? Do you truly enjoy it?" The cool, clear question arose. Chang Yu had asked this question no less than ten times over the years, each time met with casual evasion. Initially, why did she enter this profession? It was because she wanted to be closer to Chang Yu. Before truly engaging with this circle, she only had fragments of gossip and speculation, not knowing its true nature. At that time, she could have chosen the path of singing, but she refused, preferring to experience the situations Chang Yu encountered in dramas. She had always been willful, her solid backing allowing her to disregard complex considerations. However, upon entering this circle, some things began to change gradually, especially after moving from the passionate phase to the newlywed period with Chang Yu—various idle talk and gossip made her suspicious, almost driven mad by those chaotic emotions.

Extracting herself from memories, Ji Yaoguang's gaze became somewhat unfocused. After pondering for a moment, she replied, "I don't dislike it. Sometimes acting brings me joy." Especially after her divorce from Chang Yu in her memories, she had few ways to dispel her emotions. Meeting with various domestic and international art masters, she had gained some insights of her own.

"Mm." Chang Yu nodded slightly. She leaned back on the sofa and said softly, "Your current state is much better than before. At least your actions and lines are accurate, but your focus isn't very concentrated. When you were rehearsing with me just now, you were distracted. What were you thinking about?"

Her heart rate suddenly accelerated, and she almost blurted out "Thinking of you." She stole a glance at Chang Yu, unexpectedly meeting her profound gaze. Her expression wasn't cold, could even be called gentle, though still far from the tenderness that used to be reserved for her. Ji Yaoguang's heart skipped a beat. She pursed her lips and averted her gaze. "I just suddenly remembered some things, a feeling I haven't experienced for a long time. It made me nostalgic."

Chang Yu didn't understand what Ji Yaoguang meant, but she detected a sense of confusion and sadness on her face. Her heart felt as if pricked by a needle, and her hand at her side suddenly clenched into a fist. Ji Yaoguang had been very different lately, but would this change be lasting? Bringing her thoughts back to acting, Chang Yu continued, "A good actor must have rich emotions. I've actually watched some of your previous dramas. They were very stiff, taking me out of the moment. You didn't portray the characters; you didn't express any kind of authenticity. There are two types of actors: those who become whatever they play, and those who always play themselves. You haven't achieved either. Your emotions might be on point once or twice, but you can't sustain it for long."

"I know the best result is to completely follow the plot, uncontrolled by will, not having to deliberately think about how to express or move next, just performing naturally on instinct," Ji Yaoguang said, following Chang Yu's words. She paused and sighed, "This subconscious behavior, I can't control it."

"If you could control the subconscious, it would cease to exist," Chang Yu's eyes brightened, a faint smile appearing on her lips. "Relying solely on subconscious inspiration for creation, such genius doesn't exist. What we need to learn is to create appropriately using consciousness. You might act well or poorly, but most importantly, act authentically. This isn't just about actions, but also emotions, being reasonable and logical, fully immersing yourself in the character. But—"

Any transition usually doesn't bode well. As Chang Yu spoke, Ji Yaoguang unconsciously leaned closer to her side, just like when they used to be alone together. The habit ingrained in her bones couldn't be changed no matter what. When Chang Yu paused, Ji Yaoguang realized her hand was already on Chang Yu's leg, tapping idly. Chang Yu's expression remained natural, as if she hadn't noticed the small gesture, or perhaps was equally accustomed to it.

Ji Yaoguang was reluctant to withdraw her hand and distance herself from Chang Yu.

"Some scripts are completely illogical. Even if you try your best to be authentic in your performance, sometimes the situation is still laughable. I trust Su Ci's eye for scripts, but you—" Chang Yu had heard Su Ci and others mention privately several times that despite being able to get better scripts, Ji Yaoguang often refused for various inexplicable reasons. She didn't believe Ji Yaoguang lacked the discernment for good and bad, nor that she didn't understand what was valuable. She might just be acting on a whim, willing to waste time on some trivial matters. Or perhaps she had an extremely accurate self-awareness and was content with the status quo. The combination of a bad script and poor acting relies on the faces of trending young actors and actresses.

Ji Yaoguang was very obedient. After Chang Yu raised this existing issue, she immediately responded, "Then I'll let you see my future scripts first." When Chang Yu's gaze swept across her face, she beamed a brilliant smile. It would be strange not to understand the hidden thoughts in her repeated words. Chang Yu discreetly withdrew her gaze, lowered her eyes, and said calmly, "Let's rehearse that scene again. This time, switch back. I'll still be Yun Yanhui, and you play Princess Pingyang. Remember, focus this time, don't get distracted."

Chang Yu treated acting with utmost seriousness, and Ji Yaoguang's emotions were driven by her attitude. She pressed her lips together without speaking, instead nodding vigorously. When she raised her eyes again, she had already put herself into the state of the character. She was no longer Ji Yaoguang, but Princess Pingyang, suppressing a surge of anger towards her consort who had returned from the pleasure quarters. Respectful yet distant, this coldness was the norm between them, but Princess Pingyang was no longer willing to continue like this. Faced with the silent, reserved consort, she boldly and recklessly attacked. She was the proud daughter of heaven, but different from her sisters in the palace. She wouldn't be bound by so-called ethics, morals, and rules. She didn't mind showing her wantonness in front of her consort.

Sitting on Yun Yanhui's lap, Princess Pingyang boldly grabbed her collar and bit her lower lip.

Chang Yu didn't call cut, so she naturally remained as Yun Yanhui, while Ji Yaoguang could kiss freely under the guise of Princess Pingyang.

Yun Yanhui's body trembled, but her eyes remained as calm as an ancient well. Her hands clenched into fists at her sides, neither rejecting nor reciprocating the aggressive Princess Pingyang. When Princess Pingyang released her, bored, a complex emotion flashed in her eyes. Straightening her robe, her flat tone actually trembled slightly as she said, "Princess, please show some self-respect." However, as soon as she said this, she knew she had erred.

The anger that had not yet subsided was reignited by Yun Yanhui. A fierce look flashed in Princess Pingyang's eyes as she sneered, "Self-respect? Yun Yanhui, you are my consort! You're the one who went to pleasure houses for fun!"

A smile appeared on Chang Yu's face, and with just one look, one could tell which world she was in. Chang Yu was truly gifted in acting, neither worrying about being unable to get into character nor getting lost in the role. Seeing her expression, Ji Yaoguang's mood also brightened. She suppressed the small sense of pride in her heart and very consciously took her change of underwear and slipped into the bathroom, not mentioning returning to her own room at all.

The sound of the door closing was followed by the rustle of water. Chang Yu's gaze swept over the script on the coffee table, and she sighed helplessly. In this situation, Ji Yaoguang was unwilling to leave, and she was not too keen on driving her away either. The initial determination had truly been worn away by this person. Would they walk down the same old path? This worry constantly lingered in Chang Yu's mind, unable to be dismissed. She found herself in a state of contradiction.

The vibration of her phone startled her from her thoughts. Chang Yu just glanced at it lightly and saw a message from Qiao Xi.

"Back when you and Ji Yaoguang hadn't publicly announced your marriage, there were countless CP fans. How come now that you're together, they've all disappeared? Oh, and by the way, some photos have been circulating, either of Ji Yaoguang with Jiang Huai or her with Cheng Henian. What's going on with these people!"

"Although the trending topic has long been suppressed, rumors of you and Ji Yaoguang divorcing still pop up from time to time, with some people even sounding quite convincing. Ji Yaoguang's side only gave a simple statement, Zhao Qing didn't forget to add fuel to the fire, and your side has no response at all. Are you not planning to address it?"

Fingers tapping, Chang Yu replied quietly: "Do you also think it's just a rumor?"

Seeing this response, Qiao Xi's heart suddenly tightened. When Chang Yu firmly moved out of the house back then, she believed it. But now—their interaction had become quite harmonious, could Chang Yu still be harboring such thoughts? Startled, Qiao Xi hurriedly dialed Chang Yu's number and said anxiously, "I'm a bit confused. What are you really thinking? Don't scare me like this, okay?"