Northeast: My Absurd Woman

Chapter 8 You can only catch fish when the water is muddied.

Zhang Changyao's words struck a nerve with Yang Wuni, and she fell silent, looking down at her stomach.

"How about that? I was right, wasn't I?" Zhang Changyao continued to provoke him relentlessly.

"Zhang Changyao, don't worry about what's in my belly, it definitely can't be a bastard or a mixed-race child."

If you bring up my belly again, I'll turn on you.

Don't bully me just because I can't go back to my parents' home. If I were to fight you, you might not be able to beat me.

Yang Wuni rubbed the kang mat with the boar bristle brush in her hand, making a "scratching" sound.

She poured all her anger onto the brush, scrubbing it into the seams of the kang mat.

"Wu Ni, it was my fault. I shouldn't have spoken up for Zheng Meizhi."

"What you're saying is really going too far. If the child is really mine, then wouldn't I really be the father of a bastard?"

Seeing Yang Wuni with her head down and tears streaming down her face, Zhang Changyao lay down on the kang (a heated brick bed) and turned his face towards Yang Wuni to apologize.

"Zhang Changyao, the baby in Zheng Meizhi's belly is divided into eight parts and ten parts."

Which one was planted, your head or your ass?

Other bachelors are vying for it because they want to get a wife for free.

You've already gotten one for free, what are you going to do? Want to take another one home? Can you afford to raise it?

Others might not be able to have a mixed-breed child, but any woman can have a man's child.

"If you really want children, I'll have them for you, a whole litter, enough to eat the walls of your kang (heated brick bed)."

Yang Wuni wasn't really angry; she just felt wronged that Zhang Changyao had spoken up for Zheng Meizhi.

After a while, the two of them lost their temper and, as was their custom, went to the bridal chamber that night and consummated their marriage.

The next morning, Zhang Changyao was preoccupied with something and still wanted to find out what was going on.

Taking advantage of Yang Wuni's absence, he slipped out.

Feeling bored by himself, he went to the backyard to find his naked doll, Zhai Qingming, to go with him.

Zhai Qingming hadn't gotten out of bed yet when he saw Zhang Changyao come in, so he covered his head with the blanket.

"Qingming, come with me to Zheng Jingren's house to see what's going on."

"If you go too late, you won't understand what's going on?"

Zhang Changyao buried his head in Zhai Qingming's blanket and begged him.

"Changyao, go if you want. You're the ones who got Zheng Meizhi pregnant from sleeping with you. I didn't sleep with her."

Yesterday I saw Zheng Jingren standing in the yard carrying a two-foot hook.

He pointed at Ma Wu and Ma Liu from Nantun and cursed them, saying all sorts of vulgar and offensive things.

That old guy is really a troublemaker; the more people there are, the more arrogant Zheng Jingren becomes.

Zhai Qingming couldn't stand Zhang Changyao tickling his armpits in bed, so he had to take his head out and talk to him.

"Are there no other people besides Ma Wu and Ma Liu in Nantun?"

Zhang Changyao thought Yang Wuni had called everyone.

Knowing that only Ma Wu and Ma Liu would come, his heart sank.

He was no longer in the mood to joke around with Zhai Qingming.

He sat on the edge of the kang (a heated brick bed) with his head drooping and didn't say a word.

"Changyao, let me tell you, the first person to spread this news throughout the village was Hou Da Yanjing."

He had to tell everyone that the child in Zheng Meizhi's belly was his.

Zheng Jingren was unaware of this and still thought Hou Da Yanjing was a good person, so he let him stand behind him.

I reckon there will still be people vying to be the father of this child today.

I spent half the night thinking about it, maybe I should try it like Hou Da Yanjing.

"What if Zheng Meizhi takes a liking to me? Then wouldn't I be just like you, getting a woman to warm my bed for free?"

Zhai Qingming, wrapped in a quilt, looked up at the few scallions hanging on the roof of his house and fell into deep thought.

"Qingming, you are different from me. You are a bricklayer, you have a skill."

How can a woman with a baby in her belly be compared to a young, unmarried woman?

If you have a bastard child, wouldn't you be upset if you saw it every day?

Listen to me, let's not try to take advantage of anyone. If we have money, we should still find a young, unmarried woman. If that doesn't work, a pregnant woman will do too.

Zhang Changyao, speaking from experience, advised Zhai Qingming to marry his eldest daughter.

"Changyao, count how many heads are on this kang (heated brick bed)?"

With six heads and seven mouths to feed, the little work I do isn't even enough to fill a tooth gap.

I don't want to spend my whole life without ever touching a woman, becoming a bachelor like Old Li Er.

Zhai Qingming was speaking from the heart. His father was a stubborn man who was neither particularly clever nor sharp, and his mother wasn't very perceptive either.

Only he and his second brother in the family were not mentally challenged; all the other children were completely stupid.

The third brother is simple-minded, but he is strong and capable of working.

The fourth child was born with a physical defect; his hands and feet were deformed, and he could barely walk.

The fifth child is a girl, and even now she doesn't know to hide her menstruation from others.

Every month, he would wander around the village with his blood-stained crotch.

"Qingming, if you really have this idea, you can give it a try."

"Who knows, Zheng Jingren might take a liking to you and even marry Zheng Meizhi to you."

Zhang Changyao stopped trying to persuade Zhai Qingming; he understood the situation.

If it weren't for Yang Wuni, I would have already gone to compete with those other people for Zheng Meizhi.

With a few encouraging words from Zhang Changyao, Zhai Qingming also began to consider it.

I deliberately chose a set of clothes with fewer patches, washed them clean, and put them on.

Its hair was as smooth as if it had been licked by a calf.

She has a round face, just like Zheng Meizhi, but her slanted eyes detract from her overall appearance.

"Qingming, stay closer to Zheng Jingren in a bit."

If Ma Wu, Ma Liu, and Zheng Jingren start fighting, you must rush up to protect him immediately.

"As long as Zheng Jingren has feelings for you, this is pretty much a done deal."

The two walked and talked, and their conversation was overheard by Ma Pengsheng, who was taking a dump in the outhouse early in the morning.

Ma Pengsheng and Zhai Qingming were about the same age, and he also felt that the methods Zhai Qingming and Zhang Changyao mentioned were feasible.

He went inside and washed his face and short hair with cold water.

I searched for ages but couldn't find a single decent, clean piece of clothing.

I had no choice but to give up and continue wearing my sweaty, muddy Landica.

A crowd had already gathered in front of Zheng Meizhi's house, but Zheng Jingren was nowhere to be seen.

Upon closer inspection, it became clear that behind Ma Wu and Ma Liu stood several burly men of similar stature.

Each person was carrying a large stick as thick as a child's arm.

They were all furious, as if they wanted to storm in and snatch Zheng Meizhi away.

Li Mentou and Er Gouzi, standing nearby, kept their heads down, not daring to look up.

They were afraid that Ma Wu and Ma Liu would find out that they were also there to compete to be the father of the child.

Hou Da, on the other hand, was clever. He stood at the door of the outer room like a door god, acting as Zheng Jingren's lackey inside.

"Qingming, judging from this, these two guys are going to steal the bride."

You'd better not get involved; you might end up covered in fish instead of getting any.

Zhang Changyao was timid, so he grabbed the back of Zhai Qingming's clothes and pulled him backward.

"Changyao, it's not like you're the one marrying Zheng Meizhi, what are you afraid of?"

The more things are like this, the more I want to try. You can only catch fish when the water is muddied.