Northeast: My Absurd Woman

Chapter 18 Watching Others Poop Makes Their Anuses Irritated

Wang Ga's words left Zhang Changyao speechless.

He pretended not to understand and rubbed the letter on his leg with his hand.

"Changyao, will you let your wife get close to you while she's pregnant?"

When Wang Ga saw that Zhang Changyao didn't respond, he continued to ask.

"No...no...it's not allowed, is it?" Zhang Changyao was momentarily at a loss for words.

"Hmph! I knew other people's women were different from mine."

Ever since she got pregnant with our second child, she's almost made me sleep on the floor.

They said I was dishonest and that it was bad for the child, and that if a child is to be of high quality, the man shouldn't touch her.

She wasn't making such a fuss when she was pregnant with my son.

Ever since he had a few disagreements with that elementary school teacher, Lin Yuzhi, he's become like this.

Wang Ga muttered to himself, and when he hit the donkey, he used extra force, clearly angry.

The black donkey, hurt from the beating, kicked up and ran off, taking Wang Ga and Zhang Changyao with it.

They threw their belongings into the ditch beside the road.

Wang Ga was the worst off, lying face up on the edge of the ditch in the mountain stream.

It took him a long time to straighten up, and he sat in the ditch rubbing his back.

"Brother Ga Zi, your back is really useless this time."

It'll probably take a few months to recover. By then, your second child should be born.

While picking up his own things, Zhang Changyao kept teasing Wang Ga.

"Changyao, you've got a really sharp tongue. If I'd known this would happen, I wouldn't have told you anything."

Wang Ga limped along the road, supporting his back. Zhang Changyao pulled his arm and put it on his shoulder.

I thought I could get home sooner by taking a ride, but I ended up carrying another burden.

The two walked slowly and leisurely, and soon they started talking.

"Changyao, I used to think you were well-read, had a broad perspective, and were good at judging people."

I heard from my dad that Zheng Meizhi doesn't do any chores at home.

If it weren't for your father's wise decision, you'd be stuck in a stable now.

Wang Ga also laughed at Zhang Changyao, saying he had no taste in women.

"Brother Ga Zi, what a woman is like depends on whether the man knows how to train her."

Zheng Meizhi went with Ma Pengsheng because he didn't know how to train women.

Look at my wife, she's the best woman in the house, she manages everything inside and outside, there's not a single blade of grass or speck of dust in the house.

It has no flaws whatsoever, except that it loves washing clothes and bedding.

"Ever since I haven't had any lice crawling on me or in my bed, I haven't been sleeping soundly."

"Changyao, what you said really hit the nail on the head."

That's what I told my dad too, and he even laughed at me, saying I wouldn't be able to enjoy the good fortune of having a wife.

The two of them laughed until their stomachs hurt, their words filled with a happiness that only men with women could understand.

"Changyao, I don't want to go to the village to teach others how to make powder anymore."

After the New Year, I plan to set up a noodle shop and sell the noodles myself.

If other people can do it, I think I can too.

If he just loafs around all day, eating and drinking, when will it ever end?

With each child born, growing older year by year, money becomes an issue for food and education.

Wang Ga paused for a moment, sighed, and continued walking forward.

"Brother Ga Zi, I really hadn't thought that far ahead about what you're talking about."

However, opening your own rice noodle shop is still an option, since there are plenty of potatoes around here.

"I'll come help you with the work then, just give me some rice noodles to eat."

"Changyao, you're being too kind. What do you mean by 'fan leader'? You'll just be carrying a whole bunch home to eat later."

The two entered the village in the dark. Zhang Changyao took Wang Ga home and then turned back.

Once inside, he felt sore all over that he couldn't straighten his back.

"Zhang Changyao, you're finally back! Come quickly and see what happened to Dad!"

Yang Wuni knelt on the kang (a heated brick bed), her mouth twitching as she lay diagonally on the kang with her hands open, her eyes rolling back.

"Wu Ni, it's alright. Dad's just having a relapse. He'll be fine in a bit."

Zhang Changyao slowly put down the things and checked Zhang Kaiju's mouth to see if he had bitten his tongue.

Then help Zhang Kaiju wipe the white foam from the corner of his mouth.

"Wu Ni, don't be afraid, this is just an old ailment of your father's."

As long as he doesn't bump into anything, you don't need to worry about it; he'll be fine on his own in a little while.

Zhang Changyao laid out the things he had bought one by one on the kang (a heated brick bed) for Yang Wuni to see.

"Zhang Changyao, you've spent all the money you earned? When Dad wakes up, he'll skin you alive!"

Yang Wuni shielded the items with her body, afraid that Zhang Kaiju would see them.

"I didn't spend it all. These are for you and Dad. We've set aside money for our daily expenses."

Zhang Changyao pulled the remaining money out of his pocket, along with the lining of his pocket.

It was placed in front of Zhang Kaiju, who had already woken up but was too weak to get up.

"Son, buy whatever you like, don't just think about us."

For the first time, Zhang Kaiju felt that Zhang Changyao was sensible and felt sorry that he hadn't bought him anything.

"Dad, I also bought fountain pen ink and letter paper myself."

Starting tomorrow, I'll carry my schoolbag and go down to the village to write letters and couplets for others.

When I graduated, a classmate gave me a fountain pen and a calligraphy brush, and they're both coming in handy now.

There's no ink left, so I'll have to go find Liu the carpenter to get some.

"Or we could just buy a stick of ink and grind it ourselves."

Zhang Changyao was also hungry, so he didn't care whether it was hot or cold and grabbed a large flatbread from the table and took a bite.

"Wu Ni, go heat up Chang Yao's food. Eating cold food will give him a stomachache."

Zhang Kaiju recovered, got up, leaned against the fire wall, and pointed to the things on the table.

Yang Wuni was so frightened that she seemed to recover before getting out of bed to heat up the food.

"Dad, Wang Ga says he wants to open a flour mill. Do you think it'll work?"

Zhang Changyao ate his meal while keeping in mind what Wang Ga had just said.

"How can you not? The noodle shop is a highly profitable business."

How much do potato seeds cost per pound? How much does the starch that leaks out cost per pound?

Five pounds of potatoes for one pound of flour—it's a profitable business no matter how you look at it.

Zhang Kaiju knew the noodle shop well; when he worked there before, everyone said it was a good business.

"Dad, what do you mean by that? How about we open a flour mill?"

Zhang Changyao raised his face to look at Zhang Kaiju, hoping to gain his approval.

"My son, this child is still thinking too simply."

Opening a noodle shop requires too many people; it's not a business that can be done by just a few people joining in.

Our family doesn't even have a hundred yuan to get you a wife, how can we open a flour mill?

Our family has always been honest people, and we've always lived a peaceful life, making a living by digging in the soil.

Don't scratch someone's anus just because you see them pooping.

If you don't have the ability, don't make yourself miserable by overthinking.

Your wife's belly is getting bigger every day, so you'll have to raise your child too, right?

After having one child, they have to have a second, a third, a fourth...

Raising the children is the most important thing; don't think about those other unnecessary things.

Zhang Kaiju quickly stuffed the money on the kang (a heated brick bed) into his pocket, afraid that Zhang Changyao would covet it.

"Dad, if we don't open a flour mill, we can open a tofu mill. Making tofu doesn't require many people."