Northeast: My Absurd Woman

Chapter 178 A Bubble of Stool Stinks to Death

Guo Erluzi's mother was known throughout the village as "Guo the Fierce".

Hearing the two people talking at the door, he came out to greet Zhang Changyao.

Guo Ligai is of medium height and rather thin, with a student-style haircut.

She had a hair clip on one side, big eyes, willow-leaf eyebrows, and a small mouth.

Even from her current appearance, you can tell she was a great beauty in her youth.

"Auntie, I think this tree in front of your house is just big enough to make a pair of boxes."

I was just wondering if you were selling it, and if you were, I'd buy it.

"You stupid idiot, he just asked me for fifty yuan."

Zhang Changyao walked along, looking somewhat aggrieved, muttering to Guo Ligai.

"Changyao, don't listen to Erluzi's nonsense. That piece of wood is free; you can carry it back later."

Guo Ligai turned around and looked at Guo Erluzi, pointed at him, and muttered under his breath, "You little bastard."

"Boss, get some water for your brother Changyao."

She led Zhang Changyao into the house and directed her eldest son, Guo Xueyou, who was hunchbacked and had a small, round face, to pour water for Zhang Changyao.

Not only is Jacky Kwok hunchbacked and has a hunched back, but he also leans to one side.

On his large head, he always wore an octagonal green-brimmed hat with worn-out frayed edges.

He laboriously pulled a teacup off the lid of the box and poured a glass of water for Zhang Changyao.

"Auntie, what do you need me for? Just tell me."

Zhang Changyao felt grateful to the old lady for giving him the wood, and spoke with a hint of respect.

"Changyao, you and Zhai Qingming are close, so I'd like to ask you to talk to him on my behalf."

My friend Xueyou has taken a liking to his sister Zhai Ling, and we were thinking of having you act as a matchmaker.

Guo Ligai didn't mince words; he made his point clear in just a few sentences.

"Auntie, Zhai Ling can't cook or do laundry. She can't even take care of herself."

"Your classmate married her, how will these two live together?"

Zhang Changyao sized up Guo Xueyou, who was a little taller than a bench.

"Changyao, don't let my eldest son's appearance fool you, he's a real expert at managing a household."

We married Zhai Ling not for any other reason than to give my eldest son a companion.

"They will continue to live with me, and I will take care of them." Guo Ligai said, tears welling up in her eyes.

"Okay, Auntie, I'll go ask for you. Don't blame me if it doesn't work out."

"Auntie, this is the money for the wood. If you don't take it, I won't dare take the wood either, lest Erluzi comes looking for it again later."

Zhang Changyao took out five yuan from his shirt pocket and placed it in front of Guo Ligai.

"That's good, Changyao. As long as you do what your aunt entrusted to you, your aunt will not treat you unfairly."

Guo Ligai understood Zhang Changyao's meaning, so she did not refuse to accept it.

"Brother Changyao, I'm sorry about earlier, we didn't have enough wood, but we still have some in our barn."

Guo Erluzi, who was in the outer room, heard the request for Zhang Changyao to act as a matchmaker for his elder brother and immediately lost his temper.

Seeing Zhang Changyao come out of the house, he stood up and apologized to him with a big smile.

Zhang Changyao ignored him, picked up the wood he had bought, and went home without looking back.

He didn't go to Zhai Qingming's house to ask; he just treated the matter as a joke.

"Uncle, I'm so useless. I almost made you and myself stink to death."

Uncle, I don't drink water or eat. Living like this is just a waste of air.

"Leave me alone, stay away from me, let me fend for myself." Liao Zhi kept repeating this in the room.

He kept his mouth tightly shut, and no matter how much water Yang Deshan poured into it, his teeth wouldn't budge.

"Changyao, Wuni, go and persuade Liao Zhi. Ever since he got a stomachache, he hasn't eaten or drunk anything."

It seems this child really doesn't want to live anymore; he's afraid of dragging us down with him.

Yang Deshan had tried everything, but had no other choice but to go to the east room to find Zhang Changyao and Yang Wuni.

"Wu Ni, don't go. It's windy on the floor outside the outer room when you walk back and forth."

Zhang Changyao stopped Yang Wuni, who was about to go over, and walked over to the west room himself.

"Zhang Changyao, it's no use trying to persuade me. I'm not one to listen to reason."

Let me tell you, my knowledge is enough to be your teacher, so don't try to lecture me with grand theories.

I am an abandoned man, and my existence in this world will only bring trouble to others.

You just let me leave quietly, then drag me into a ravine and push me there.

Wild dogs drag, wild wolves plunder, let them eat their fill, that's the last contribution I can make to the world.

Liao Zhi recognized that the person standing silently was Zhang Changyao, so she began to tell him her thoughts.

"Liao Zhi, I'm not here to persuade you, I'm here to help you. Don't you want to die? I'll teach you how."

I've heard that people who can't move can commit suicide by biting their tongues. Try biting one yourself.

Zhang Changyao leaned closer to Liao Zhi, pried open his mouth, and looked inside.

"Zhang Changyao, even if you bit off your tongue and committed suicide, no one would do this to you—prying your mouth open and watching!"

Liao Zhi tried hard to close his mouth, but Zhang Changyao was trying to pry it open and he couldn't get any strength in.

"Liao Zhi, I want to see if you can put your tongue on your teeth."

You have to be steady, accurate, and ruthless, otherwise you won't be able to speak properly and will only become a half-spoken word.

What if one day he can stand up but can't speak? Wouldn't that be pitiful?

Zhang Changyao stretched Liao Zhi's tongue and pulled it close to his teeth.

"Zhang Changyao, what do you mean by this? If you bite your tongue and commit suicide, who will ask for help?"

Liao Zhi pulled his tongue back and tried to push against Zhang Changyao's finger, attempting to close his mouth.

"Fine, I won't help you. You bite it yourself, from top to bottom, preferably with a 'crunch' sound."

Then I told Lin Qiu that her man was killed by the stench of his own spilled excrement.

I don't know if he was great in life, but he certainly died a miserable death.

Zhang Changyao stood on the kang (a heated brick bed) staring at Liao Zhi, making sure Liao Zhi could see him too.

"Zhang Changyao, you can't tell Lin Qiu. Just tell her I died of natural causes."

Liao Zhi lost his earlier toughness and spoke to Zhang Changyao in a gentler tone.

"Liao Zhi, you know me, I don't lie."

I could also say that you stopped eating and drinking after you got diarrhea because you were afraid of starving to death.

Zhang Changyao's words became increasingly outrageous, deliberately trying to provoke Liao Zhi.

"Zhang Changyao, why can't you stop talking about diarrhea?" Liao Zhi looked at Zhang Changyao with annoyance.

"So you're so desperate because you have diarrhea, that's why you're acting like you're going to die. I can't possibly lie to Lin Qiu, can I?"

Besides, after you die, we'll have to notify your father to come and take you back, right?

Your father will definitely think that we killed you.

They'll call in a forensic doctor to cut open your stomach, take out your intestines, and investigate.

If I don't tell the truth at that time, that would be perjury.

Alright, I've already arranged your funeral. You should just die now.

We need to pack some boxes later, so don't let it interfere with my work.

"If you're not dead, hurry up and eat. You choose: bite your tongue or eat?"

Zhang Changyao picked up the rice bowl that Yang Deshan had placed on the kang (a heated brick bed) and waited for Liao Zhi.

"It's like a hundred-year dream, a fleeting illusion; a dream of wealth and glory, all turned to nothing."