Northeast: My Absurd Woman

Chapter 176 If Not, Marry a Cripple, a Blind Man, or a Fool

Hou Jiu finally understood what Zhang Changyao and Liao Zhi were saying.

He jumped to the ground, ready to go home and settle accounts with Zhao Xiulan.

"Xiao Jiu, what are you doing? How old is Zhao Xiulan? If you drag her like that, she'll fall apart!"

"Then she'll really just stay at your house, and you won't even have anywhere to throw her away."

Zhang Changyao had an idea, remembering what Zhang Shuhua had said.

Zhang Kaiju asked Zhao Xiulan for help, but Zhao Xiulan refused to give him face.

"Brother Changyao, what should we do?" Hou Jiu froze on the spot.

"I'd rather keep it at home and let it snuggle under the covers than take it outside and risk it falling apart."

"Hou Jiu, you've really hit the jackpot this time, you've gained an extra wife and mother." Liao Zhi teased Hou Jiu.

Hou Jiu angrily took off his shoes, rubbed his toes, and covered Liao Zhi's mouth in one go.

"Hou Jiu, I'm not saying anything more. Take your hands off me, they smell worse than my shit."

Liao Zhi was immediately appeased by Hou Jiu and obediently shut his mouth.

"Liao Zhi, stop being so cheeky. Hou Jiu's stinky feet made you vomit, and your uncle had to clean you up."

Yang Wuni looked at Liao Zhi, who was feeling nauseous, and then glanced at Yang Deshan, who was frowning and covering Liao Zhi's mouth with a handkerchief.

"Xiao Jiu, let's go find my father and ask him to take Zhao Xiulan back."

"Even if Zhao Xiulan dies right after leaving your front door, it has nothing to do with you." Zhang Changyao pulled Hou Jiu to find Zhang Kaiju.

"Dad, are you inside?" Zhang Changyao and Hou Jiu panicked as soon as they entered the courtyard.

The yard was full of firewood piles, leaving no room to step.

The door to the outer room was half-open, with firewood blowing in through the wind partially obscuring the entrance.

The basins and bowls were placed on the floor of the outer room, half on the stove and half on the floor.

The pot lid was blocking the entrance to the stove pit, and the pot was full of yellow soil, indicating that no food had been cooked.

"father!"

Zhang Changyao called out and hurriedly pushed open the door to the room.

There was a pile of human excrement under the house, still steaming.

The stench was so overwhelming that Zhang Changyao and Hou Jiu had to cover their noses and mouths with their sleeves.

The black rubber bucket for holding urine was placed in the middle of the ground, and the smell of urine wafted out from inside.

The corner of the window was broken, and the kang (a heated brick bed) was covered in dust.

I didn't see anyone, only a bag inside the two quilts, which I guess Zhang Kaiju was hiding inside.

Zhang Changyao had no mind to say anything else. He covered his nose and held the chamber pot in one hand.

After emptying the urine, he took a shovel and dug out the human excrement.

Hou Jiu also helped, kicking the firewood from the ground outside the outer room into the yard and closing the door.

"Dad, I have a way to bring Aunt Xiulan back. Let's go pick her up now."

With your house like this, how can anyone live with you when they come back?

Zhang Changyao lifted a corner of the two quilts and asked Zhang Kaiju.

"My son, they said they won't stay with me, they called me a good-for-nothing."

Leave me alone, just let me die like this.

You two brothers, Zuo Liu, both have houses. This house will serve as my grave after I die.

After I die, throw a match and burn the house and its inhabitants down with me.

That's how I've lived my life, a pathetic failure, I'm too ashamed to face my ancestors.

Zhang Kaiju spoke from under the covers and never showed his face.

"Father, my Aunt Xiulan and Sister Hou Jiuba are fighting, and now she's lying on the ground and acting like a liar."

I was thinking of taking this opportunity to bring her back, before the stable boy went to pick her up first and I missed my chance.

While sweeping the dust off the kang (a heated brick bed), Zhang Changyao told Zhang Kaiju.

"Huh? Really? Wasn't she involved with Hou Jiu? Why did he dump her?"

Upon hearing this, Zhang Kaiju immediately poked his head out from under the blankets.

His white hair stood on end, making him look exactly like a broom head with hardly any hair left.

"Uncle, watch your mouth. What the hell are you talking about? Zhao Xiulan and me?"

Her face has more wrinkles than the washboard in my house, only you old folks wouldn't mind.

Anyone who tries to link her to me, I'll block their chimney.

Go and drag her back right now, or I'll drag her into the ditch and feed her to the wild dogs.

I've seen shameless people, but I've never seen anyone as shameless as her.

"Why don't you take a piss and look at your old face? You want to eat tender tofu? Aren't you afraid of getting burned?" Hou Jiu was so disgusted by the smell that he got onto the kang (heated brick bed) and opened the window.

"Old man, stop packing, let's go now, before the stable boy beats us to it."

Zhang Kaiju crawled out of bed and got out of bed to put on his shoes.

"Brother Changyao, let's go! If we stay any longer, Zhao Xiulan will be crawling on the ground with diarrhea."

Hou Jiu pulled Zhang Changyao, who was still sweeping the floor, and followed behind Zhang Kaiju.

Inside Hou Jiu's house, Hou Liping had no choice but to look at Zhao Xiulan, who was lying on the ground and wouldn't get up.

The two children were so frightened by the situation that they hid in her arms and didn't dare to move.

"Xiulan! What's wrong? Did someone bully you?"

Zhang Kaiju pushed open Hou Jiu's door and looked at Zhao Xiulan lying on the ground. He felt sorry for her and wanted to help her up.

"Zhang Kaiju, you good-for-nothing, are you dead? Why did you only come now?"

If it weren't for how badly you treated me, would I have ended up in this situation?

All they do is doubt me all day long, talking about this person and that person.

You made me so afraid to even go to my son's house. Now look what's happened, you've been beaten up. Are you happy now?

Zhao Xiulan lay on the ground, refusing to get up. When she saw Zhang Kaiju, she grabbed his arm and wiped away her tears, feeling wronged.

"Xiulan, let's go home. The ground is cold, and your body can't take it."

From now on, I'll listen to everything you say, and I won't doubt anything you do.

"As long as you can live with me, I'll be willing to be a cuckold."

Zhang Kai lifted her up, feeling sorry for Zhao Xiulan, and brushed the dirt off her.

The two of them, supporting each other, staggered away from Hou Jiu's house.

"Xiao Jiu, are you a big idiot? How old are you?"

Going back to find an old woman this age? You don't want to get married in the future, do you?

This old lady's clothes crumble when she walks; if you kill her, you'll still have to hold a funeral for her.

Even if you want to find a woman, you should at least find someone decent, right?

If that doesn't work, marry someone who's lame, blind, or mentally challenged, like Zhai Qingming's sister, or someone like Ya Dan...

Tomorrow I'll ask a matchmaker to go to Zhai Qingming's house and ask; his sister is better than this old woman."

When Hou Liping saw Zhang Kaiju take Zhao Xiulan away, she gave Hou Jiu a severe dressing-down.

They were leading their child, looking like they were about to go to Zhai Qingming's house to arrange a marriage.

"Eighth Sister, it's not what you think. There's nothing between me and this old woman."

I had no idea she wanted to live with me or cling to me.

I thought she just pitied me and wanted to help me with laundry, cooking, and tidying up the house.

If I had known she wanted to sleep with me, I would have kicked her out long ago.

I don't want Zhai Qingming's sister. If you ask me to find a matchmaker, I'll get really angry with you right now.

Brother Changyao, tell me about my sister. She's angry with me. Bring that silly Zhai Ling back to me.

"At that point, I really won't be able to stay in this village anymore."