Northeast: My Absurd Woman

Chapter 159 Dreaming of Not Wiping Your Butt After Pooping

Seeing that Yang Deshan looked kind, Liao Zhi made a joke about himself, wanting to tease the old man.

"You silly child, everyone eats grains and cereals, and everyone poops and peees."

I've never seen anyone block the door or tie a stick to something just because they're afraid of the stench or can't stand the smell.

If you're afraid of the smell, I'll plug your nose, clean it up, and then open it again.

As long as you don't mind that I'm an old man and I'm slow, I can make sure you're comfortable and clean.

Yang Deshan grew increasingly fond of Liao Zhi, and took out his handkerchief from his pocket to wipe the fine sweat from Liao Zhi's forehead.

"Wu Ni, Uncle, you're so kind," Li Yue'e, who was sitting to the side, praised.

"Wu Ni, what's this?" Yang Deshan sat down next to Liao Zhi and glanced at Li Yue'e.

"Uncle, this is my second sister-in-law, Changyao's cousin's wife." Yang Wuni introduced Li Yue'e to Yang Deshan.

"Wu Ni, the people in this village are really nice, and Second Sister-in-law is a good person too."

His second sister-in-law, Wu Ni, grew up without parents to teach her, so she doesn't know how to handle things.

Tell her what she did wrong.

This child is stubborn and headstrong; she won't do anything if you argue or make a fuss.

"Like a little donkey, you can do whatever you want with its fur." ​​Yang Deshan looked at Yang Wuni with doting eyes.

"Uncle, Wu Ni is doing well. Everyone in our village is proud of her."

Don't let her recent marriage fool you; she's more capable than me, an old woman, when it comes to getting things done.

Li Yue'e stroked Wu Ni's long braid and praised her.

Zhang Changyao used a winnowing basket to winnow a small bowl of dried clams and then stir-fried them.

He then went to the convenience store and bought a jug of bulk liquor for Yang Deming to drink.

I couldn't afford the expensive cigarettes, so I bought the cheapest pack and put it on the kang (heated brick bed).

The chicks were all put into the temporary chicken coop that had been built a few days ago.

The eggs that couldn't be eaten were pickled in a borrowed three-jar vat. After finishing the work, I was so tired that I lay on the kang (a heated brick bed) with my back straight.

"Son, something's happened again. Get me a chicken right now."

Zhang Kaiju pushed the door open and came in, not even looking at who was in the room, and went straight to the point.

"Dad, what do you need the chicks for? The chicks are for Wu Ni to nurse."

Zhang Changyao sat up and looked at Zhang Kaiju, who hadn't moved.

"My son, I only came to you because I had no other choice. Your Aunt Xiulan is going crazy and wants to eat chicken."

I asked her to give me the money so I could buy it from someone else.

She wouldn't have it and insisted that I come to your house to catch one.

She said she saw several chicks in your yard.

She said, "If you don't give it to me, I won't stay with you."

Zhang Kaiju lowered his head, his brows furrowed, looking distressed.

"Dad, she didn't have a postpartum period, she's not pregnant, why would she want to eat our chicken?"

My daughter, Wu Ni, is in postpartum confinement, and she doesn't even want to eat chicken.

"I won't give it to her. Whether she likes it or not, it's better if she doesn't; it'll save me trouble."

Zhang Changyao leaned back and lay down on the kang again, turning his head to face the wall, refusing to look at Zhang Kaiju.

"Youngest son, you don't want your father to have a good life, do you?"

Are the jars full of eggs in the basement of the outer room not enough for Wu Ni to eat?

Your Aunt Xiulan is taking care of me for you, so what's wrong with me eating one of your chickens?

If you're afraid of your wife and don't dare to agree, I won't force you to agree.

Anyway, I've already told you, so I'm taking it whether you agree or not." Zhang Kaiju turned to leave.

"Hey! Hey! Don't go, come back. Are you Changyao's father?"

That's our in-laws now. In-laws, what are you doing?

Wu Ni is still in her postpartum confinement period; shouldn't you, as her husband, have some sense of propriety?

Since this is the first time we've met, we should at least get to know each other first.

You said Changyao's Aunt Xiulan wants to eat chicken, so have her come here tomorrow.

When making soup for Wu Ni, also give her a bowl of meat.

"It's such a simple matter, yet the father and son have made such a big fuss, like they're about to go to war."

Yang Deshan went down to the ground to pull Zhang Kaiju away, preventing him from leaving.

"Father-in-law? You're Wu Ni's father?" Zhang Kaiju sat on the edge of the kang (a heated brick bed), his face flushed.

"My dear in-laws, I am Uncle Wu Ni. From now on, I will live here."

Wu Ni will take care of me in my old age, and I'll help them take care of their children.

Yang Deshan picked up a cigarette from the kang (a heated brick bed), opened it, took out a cigarette, and handed it to Zhang Kaiju.

"What? They'll take care of you in your old age? Zhang Changyao, is what your uncle/father-in-law said true?"

Provoked by Yang Deshan's words, Zhang Kaiju jumped to the ground and started flailing his arms.

"Father, my uncle is good to Wu Ni. If it weren't for my uncle protecting Wu Ni, she would have been dead long ago."

Besides, my uncle doesn't just sit around doing nothing; he helps us take care of Liao Zhi and the children.

Just like when you helped my older brother and sister-in-law take care of Guiye and Guibao during the autumn harvest.

Zhang Changyao, sensing the tone of Yang Deshan's words, knew that they had struck a nerve with Zhang Kaiju, and quickly got up to comfort him.

"My dear in-law, I'm just an old man, can't my niece take care of me in my old age?"

You can come to his house too, and we brothers can keep each other company then.

Let Wu Ni have a few more children. You can look after the kids, and I'll take care of Liao Zhi.

With clear division of labor and no time for fighting, what a great thing!

Yang Deshan, who hadn't quite grasped the situation, offered further explanation.

"Shut up! This is Old Zhang's house. You have no right to speak here."

In our Zhang family, there's no such thing as providing for one's father-in-law in his old age.

"You'd better get out of here tomorrow, or I'll throw your luggage out on the street."

His cheeks bulged out with anger, looking more sinister than a toad being stabbed in the belly.

"Dad, why are you talking about my uncle? This house belongs to Zhang Changyao and me."

I can support whoever I want, and nobody can stop me.

My uncle treats me better than any of you. What right do you have to throw his luggage?

Your wife, who's keeping a lover, wants chicken, so you come to my house to ask for it. Don't you have any shame at your age?

If you're craving something, just buy it yourself; if you can't afford it, slap yourself in the face.

"You want to take even a chicken feather from my house? Dream on, you're dreaming of not wiping your butt after you poop!"

Yang Wuni, unable to bear it any longer, finally disregarded Zhang Changyao's expression and unleashed a torrent of abuse.

"Yang Wuni, don't think that just because you've had a baby, you're all set in your ways."

As long as you stay at Old Zhang's house for one day, don't even think about being arrogant.

If it weren't for the fact that you don't spend money, would Zhang Changyao have married you?

With all that fuss and nonsense, they still don't know whose child it is.

Only my son is stupid enough to believe you and go to the clinic with you to talk nonsense, pretending to be sick.

In my opinion, this child is the illegitimate child you brought from home?

Zhang Kaiju didn't hold back either, turning around to confront Yang Wuni head-on.

"Dad, what are you doing? Wu Ni shouldn't get angry while she's in postpartum confinement."

Even if I, as your son, am begging you, please stop making a scene in the house, okay?

Your uncle and sister-in-law are still alive; people will laugh at you for acting like this.

Having exhausted all other options, Zhang Changyao pushed Zhang Kaiju outwards and began to compromise.

"I'm going to eat your chickens today, and nobody can stop me."

Zhang Kaiju pushed Zhang Changyao away and turned to walk out.

"Zhang Changyao, if you dare to let your father take the chicks today, I'll kill myself by smashing my head against a wall."

Like Sister Guimei, I'll die with my child in front of you.

Yang Wuni was unwilling to back down and, disregarding the fact that her child was about to stand up and get down, tried to do so.

"Who the hell wants to catch my daughter's chicks? They're tired of living, aren't they?"