Northeast: My Absurd Woman

Chapter 121 Head Falls Off, Scar the Size of a Bowl

Outside, a man swaying his head was wandering around the yard.

"Wu Ni, wait a moment while you eat. I'll go check on someone."

Zhang Changyao put down his rice bowl, put on his shoes, got out of bed, and went out to look.

"Wang Fugui, you little rascal, did you come to the wrong house?"

"Or is something missing? What are you sneaking around the yard looking for?"

Zhang Changyao didn't have a good impression of Wang Fugui; he was practically a mortal enemy.

This guy was the same age as him, but looked much more mature.

He wasn't tall, but had a big, round body and a big head like a ball.

He always had a smile on his face, but the ruthlessness in his eyes made that smile seem filthy.

His upturned lips held a disdainful air, revealing an unbridled arrogance that made him look down on everyone.

"Zhang Changyao, nothing was stolen. You wouldn't dare steal anything from my house."

I've come to see you about something, about Yuxiu and me.

Wang Fugui straightened his green military cap, put his hands behind his back, and walked straight into the east room of Zhang Changyao's house.

"Zhang Changyao, this won't do. The room is cleaner than your own pocket."

At the very least, there should be a pair of chests, a five-drawer chest, and a large mirror.

And now that we have the stove, where are the pot and lid?

Where are the stove ring and stove plate? Did you go out to visit neighbors and haven't you come home yet?

And this dining table isn't as sturdy as the board my pig lies on. Aren't you afraid the rice bowls will leak out?

And then there's the window; nobody uses paper anymore, they use plastic sheeting.

That thing is a bit expensive, but it's really good. You can see what people outside look like.

By the way, Zhang Changyao, I remember you once said, "There is a golden house in books."

Now that we have the house, where's the gold? It wasn't taken out of the book, was it? Hahaha!

Wang Fugui looked around the room like a leader on an inspection tour, and laughed at Zhang Changyao.

"Wang Fugui, are you here on purpose to belittle my family?"

If you're here to make fun of me, you can leave now, satisfied. I won't see you off.

Zhang Changyao was somewhat afraid of Wang Fugui, and his order to leave was weak and ineffective.

"Zhang Changyao, what are you saying? Do you think I'm that kind of person?"

I just can't stand a piece of trash like you.

He married such a good wife, yet he doesn't give her a good life.

If I marry Yuxiu, I will give her the best things in the world.

"Big houses, three turns and one sound, sixteen legs—none of that is a problem."

Wang Fugui finally realized why he had come to find Zhang Changyao.

Sitting on the edge of the kang (a heated brick bed), with his eyes squinting upwards, he looked at the rafters on the roof with such envy that he almost wanted to hang his eyes on them.

"Hey! What are you doing at my house?" Yang Wuni glared at Wang Fugui.

She could tell that Zhang Changyao didn't like this person, and he couldn't get rid of her no matter what he tried.

"Zhang Changyao, your wife is really quite good-looking."

She lacked the plump and graceful appearance of a young woman; she was so thin she looked like she had gouged eyes.

What a waste of such a handsome face, marrying the biggest good-for-nothing in the village.

Wang Fugui lifted his legs onto the edge of the kang (a heated brick bed) and crossed them together.

Didn't your parents teach you manners when you were a child?

"You come to someone else's house and sit on the kang (heated brick bed) without taking off your shoes. Do you think this is your own kang?"

Yang Wuni picked up the newly made broom from Zhang Changyao and smacked Wang Fugui's calves several times.

"Ouch! You woman, you even dare to hit me?"

Do you even know who I am? You dare to attack me? You don't want to stay in this village anymore, do you?

Wang Fugui took his leg down, stood on the ground with his hands on his hips, and looked at Yang Wuni.

"Wu Ni, this is the Wang Fugui I was talking about. Don't mess with him."

Wang Fugui, my wife doesn't know you, please don't blame her.

"After you leave, I'll teach her a good lesson, and she won't dare to do it again."

Zhang Changyao stood on the edge of the kang (a heated brick bed), blocking Yang Wuni from harming her.

"Zhang Changyao, if it weren't for the fact that you are Yuxiu's third uncle, I would have done this."

I'm going to slap your wife a few times today.

No one in this village has ever been born yet who would dare to hit me with a broom.

Let alone you, a little wife who weighs less than 100 pounds.

Even my own father wouldn't dare to lay a finger on me.

Wang Fugui lifted his foot and placed it on the edge of the kang (a heated brick bed), then patted his trouser leg with his hand.

Yang Wuni remained silent, walked past Zhang Changyao, and brought in the newly bought kitchen knife from the basement of the outer room.

With a "click," a gleaming kitchen knife flashed.

They chopped down at Wang Fugui's feet, which were resting on the edge of the kang (a heated brick bed).

"Damn it! Zhang Changyao, you tigress, you really dare to do this."

"I'm not even married yet, are you trying to break my legs?"

Wang Fugui reacted quickly, dodging backward and pulling his foot off.

The tip of the cleaver pierced the spot where Wang Fugui had just stepped.

This local scoundrel was immediately terrified and broke out in a cold sweat.

"Wang Fugui, let me tell you, everyone who comes to my Yang Wuni's house is a human being."

I kill and eat all the livestock; I leave none alive.

I have a hobby: I enjoy messing around with animals that eat raw rice.

You can learn everything your parents didn't teach you when you were little from me.

I'd kill and roast a wolf cub, you're nothing but a fart in my eyes.

"Get the hell out of here right now, or I'll rip your head off and pickle it in a jar like vegetables."

Yang Wuni, wielding a kitchen knife, pressed closer and closer, causing the still-shaken Wang Fugui to retreat repeatedly.

He didn't know how capable Yang Wuni was, so he had no choice but to slink out of the house.

"Pah! Zhang Changyao, you just wait, I'll make you regret offending me."

When Wang Fugui left the house and walked to the window, he spat a mouthful of phlegm onto the window paper.

"Wang Fugui, if you dare touch my things or people, I'll kill you, you bastard, for fun."

"You get back here right now and lick up all that phlegm you spat out."

Yang Wuni rushed out of the house, picked up the clods of dirt on the ground, and threw them away forcefully.

"Ouch!" A clod of dirt hit Wang Fugui squarely on the back of the head.

Without daring to turn his head, the kid covered his head and kicked off running.

"Wu Ni, your hand isn't healed yet, be careful!"

I've never seen a woman like you, laughing so hard at the sight of a fight that the back of your head is practically bleeding.

Zhang Changyao hugged Yang Wuni from behind, put her back on the kang (a heated brick bed), and covered her with a quilt.

"Zhang Changyao, let me tell you about people like Wang Fugui."

You can't be afraid of him; the more afraid you are, the more he'll bully you.

When you see him, he's like a coward who's afraid of the tough; when he sees me, he's like a tough guy who's afraid of someone who's fearless.

People can die from overwork, starvation, or illness, but they must never let others bully them to death.

"What are you afraid of if he's just standing there with his legs up? What's the big deal if his head falls off? It'll just leave a scar the size of a bowl."

Yang Wuni then remembered that her hand hurt, and she grimaced as she carefully put her hand under her armpit to relieve the pain.

"Wu Ni, it's not what you think. If we fight it out, who's afraid of who?"

That kid is cunning and wicked; he does bad things behind people's backs, like lighting firewood piles, smashing windows in the middle of the night, and stealing chicks.

Just you wait! Our woodpile won't be on fire for more than a few days.