Northeast: My Absurd Woman

Chapter 117 Kissing with your buttocks on display, not knowing whether it smells good or bad.

Unable to contain his temper, Zhang Changyao picked up a sickle and prepared to fight Guan Shu to the death.

"Zhang Changyao, who are you going to chop down? Did Brother Guan Shu steal your willow branches?"

Yang Wuni stretched out her arms to block the doorway, preventing Zhang Changyao from leaving.

"Wu Ni, it's not about the willow branches, I can't bring myself to say it."

Zhang Changyao threw down his sickle, covered his head, and squatted in the corner.

"What can't two grown men say?"

Even if he pulled down your pants, you wouldn't react like this, would you?

Yang Wuni held up both hands and used her elbows to pick up the sickle from the ground and place it in the empty water tank.

"Wu Ni, how can I be so angry that he pulled down my pants?"

He... he's a beast, he pulled down my sister-in-law's pants.

Zhang Changyao's face turned bright red as he reluctantly recounted the incident.

"When your brother's wife makes a fool of herself, your brother isn't angry. Why are you, a mere brother-in-law, getting involved?"

You want to chop someone up? Are you out of your mind? Are you trying to ruin our family's life?

Guan Shu pulled down your sister-in-law's pants. If your sister-in-law disagreed, she could hit him, scold him, or even sue him.

Your older brother can chop him up, castrate him, or mince him; it's all perfectly acceptable.

You're the only one who shouldn't be reacting so strongly, as if you and your sister-in-law are having an affair.

"You can't stand it when she's being bullied," Yang Wuni said to Zhang Changyao in a serious tone.

"Wu Ni, it's not what you think. It's... it's that my sister-in-law and he were fooling around in Hebei, and I caught them red-handed."

Zhang Changyao slammed his fist against the wall, then blew on it in pain.

"Talking nonsense in Hebei? That means it's consensual between the two people!"

The two people involved have no objections from either of their families, so why are you, an outsider, stirring things up?

I think you're just bored and worrying about things that aren't your business.

Your sister-in-law, if you dare to chop down the tree, she'll fight you to the death. Don't you understand, prostitutes are heartless and actors are ungrateful?

Besides, neither your elder brother nor your father has spoken. The emperor isn't in a hurry, so why should a eunuch like you be anxious?

Why don't you go and tell your older brother and your father about this?

Those two are the ones in charge; they have the right to decide whether to tolerate or kill.

As Yang Wuni spoke, she began to have wicked thoughts. After finishing her sentence, she turned her head away, pursed her lips, and dared not laugh.

"Wu Ni, I'm not angry that the two of them are having an affair."

What angered me was my sister-in-law's sharp tongue; she insulted our entire family.

Zhang Changyao calmed down considerably, stood up, wiped the Guoguang apple with his coat lapel, and fed it to Yang Wuni.

"Zhang Changyao, I told you your sister-in-law isn't afraid of you, right?"

Go and tell your father about this now, and have him talk to your older brother.

If we tell them about this, we've done our utmost.

If your sister-in-law talks nonsense with Guan Shu again, it has nothing to do with us.

You absolutely mustn't get involved, or people will say you're jealous of Brother Guan Shu, and that would be troublesome.

"If a bucket of shit is dumped on your head, you can't wash it off even if you jump into the Yellow River."

Yang Wuni chewed on an apple, but didn't forget to warn Zhang Changyao.

"Yes, Wu Ni, you're right. After you finish these apples, I'll go and talk to Dad."

Zhang Changyao looked thoughtfully at the two apples remaining in his hand and agreed.

"Hmm...hmm...Zhang Changyao, you go quickly, I can eat it myself."

Yang Wuni was an impatient person. She used her elbow to take the apple from Zhang Changyao's hand and put it on the kang (a heated brick bed).

He lay face down on the kang (a heated brick bed), munching on an apple, waving his hand to signal Zhang Changyao to hurry up and go.

Zhang Changyao hesitated for a moment, then reluctantly pushed open the door to go to the main room to find Zhang Kaiju.

"What? Son, are you seeing things? Isn't this Guan Shu just livestock?"

Zhang Kaiju was furious and slammed his hand on the kang mat, jumping up with a "whoosh".

He paced back and forth quickly underground, spitting out "Pui, pui, pui..."

"Dad, my sister-in-law even called our family members good-for-nothings."

"I...I really wanted to give her a big shovel around her neck."

You didn't even see my sister-in-law's behavior; she acted like it was something to be proud of for her to have an affair.

Zhang Changyao gestured to Zhang Kaiju, mimicking how he acted when he was angry with Yumi.

"Changyao, stop talking, or you'll make your father have another attack."

Your older brother is a spineless coward, no wonder your sister-in-law says he's like that.

He's so taciturn, what woman could be proud of someone as silent as him?

Guan Shu may be ugly, but he's good with words.

He knows how to talk to anyone he sees, and he can walk a mile without even eating.

Zhao Xiulan, who was listening on the kang (a heated brick bed), saw that Zhang Kaiju was not responding, so she quickly came over to the edge of the kang and said a few words.

"Xiulan, why are you siding with outsiders?"

Although Changguang was honest, he lived a good life.

Guan Shu is not only ugly, but also doesn't know how to manage a household; all he does is talk.

I don't know what Sui Yumi was thinking, how could she possibly fall for this ugly guy?

Zhang Kaiju stopped and started looking for his coat, as he was heading to Zhang Changguang's house.

"Father, are you sure you want to go find my older brother and tell him?"

Zhang Changyao was a little worried, so he took a few steps back and stopped at the doorway to look at Zhang Kaiju.

"What else can we do if we don't tell? If we tell, at least we can keep an eye on things."

Zhang Kaiju finished dressing, pushed open the door and went out, with Zhang Changyao following closely behind.

"Zhang Changyao, our kang (heated brick bed) is damp. Could you add some firewood to warm it up?"

When Yang Wuni saw Zhang Changyao following Zhang Kaiju, she quickly pushed open the door and called to him.

"They're here...they're here..."

"Dad, I won't go with you. Wu Ni cut her hand, and I need to stay home to take care of her."

Zhang Changyao understood Yang Wuni's meaning, so he quickly turned around and went home.

"What the hell are you doing following along? Getting yelled at like that?"

Yang Wuni peeked through the crack in the door at Zhang Changyao as he returned.

"I'm not going, I just want to see Dad off." Zhang Changyao scratched his head and grinned foolishly.

"Zhang Changyao, let me tell you, your brother, your sister-in-law, Guan Shu, none of these people are good people."

They're like dogs fighting, all tangled up together, and they're still closer to each other than you.

And your father and Zhao Xiulan, those guys who kiss and kiss without knowing what's good or bad.

If you stay away from them in the future, our family will be less likely to be scammed.

If you have the time and inclination, go and haul back a few truckloads of soil. Zhai Qingming just came to talk to you about the house again.

Start construction quickly, finish building the house, and bring Sister Lin Qiu and her husband over.

That way we can gradually offset the cost of building the house.

"Gurgle, gurgle," Yang Wuni's stomach was not to be mistreated; it growled whenever she was hungry.

"Okay, let's start construction tomorrow. I'll buy the materials and have Hou Jiu assist Zhai Qingming."

"We need a lot of people to help with things like installing the beams, rafters, and reeds. I need to find some young and strong men to help."

Zhang Changyao started counting on his fingers, figuring out who he could hire to help him tomorrow.

Two months passed in the blink of an eye, and the three new houses were built neatly and orderly.

Zhang Changyao and Yang Wuni, who had just attended Guan Shuyun and Hu Xiao's wedding, stood in the house grinning foolishly.

"Zhang Changyao, let's hitch up the car and go tell Lin Qiu and her husband to move in as soon as possible."