My Alleged Husband

Chapter 619 - 598: An End Without Notice_1

"Yichen, I am well aware deep inside that I have also made a mistake in this matter, and the blow to you was indeed significant. But do you know? After it happened, how much guilt and regret I’ve had, how much I regret believing him, drinking with him. I had thought he was a gentleman who would never do anything beyond decency to me. Yet, I failed to maintain a proper boundary and gave him an opportunity. This was my fault, and if you blame me, I have nothing to say. But please try to understand my position and put yourself in my shoes. If it was you who went through something like this, how could you remain unmoved? If it was you watching your own husband scoff and taunt you, too indifferent even to raise an eyebrow, would your heart not ache?"

"You say you’ve been living in pain during this period. Well, what about me? Haven’t I also been living in agony? Actually, my suffering is no less than yours; on the contrary, it may be even greater. I have to face my own guilt, my self-blame, and I have to face you, the man I love most, while I can say nothing. Any explanation I give could only make things worse, and I don’t want that to happen. All I want is to be with you. Why can’t you understand my true intentions?"

"Whether you believe what I’m saying today or not, at least, please believe that it’s because I truly love you. I don’t know how to put my feelings into words. But do you understand? How much I care, whether I can spend my lifetime with you. I am a woman, not a deity; I cannot completely cut off all emotions. I can only approach what I believe to be right, step by step, because I trust the choices my heart makes. I believe I haven’t loved the wrong person, I believe you are the one most worthy of my life."

Zhang Yichen didn’t know what to say. Could it be that he had really been too suspicious, assuming the worst in someone who might have been innocent all along? Could it be he was entirely without fault in this affair? Yet, why did his heart still hurt so much? What was all his suffering for? Was it all for something so trivial, to let all the love turn to ash? He couldn’t do that, but could he forgive her so easily? His heart couldn’t forgive.

Her inner conflict was tormenting her, torn between the wife he loved most and his morals and principles. Which should he choose, dignity or face? Undoubtedly, he chose the family’s reputation in the end. He knew his grandfather was a man who cared greatly about face, and he couldn’t let the disgrace ruin the reputation of his entire family. It’s hard to imagine the difficulty in establishing a hundred-year-old family’s prosperity, but how could he be so selfish and ruin what his grandfather had built with such hard labor just because of his troubled family relations?

"Wake up. Don’t say anything more. Some things get worse the more you talk. But what I hope you can understand now is that I truly don’t know what to say, nor do I know whether I should forgive you. However, I need you to understand that between family honor and my own, I can only choose the family. It’s hard to grasp the importance of the family’s reputation, and I can’t let my grandfather lose face, let alone allow the family prestige he’s worked so hard to build be destroyed. The honor of a hundred-year-old family is precious, and I believe you’re well aware of that. The decision I’m making now is only to provide an exit for both of us. I really can’t be completely unbothered."

"You say it was unintended, that you shouldn’t have believed his words. But on the other hand, if you truly had no desire whatsoever to be with him, how could you have heeded his sweet nothings and joined him for drinks? Deep down, there was a tiny desire to experience what it felt like, but you didn’t anticipate how powerful my reach is, able to unearth everything you’ve done. I’m sorry; maybe it was my excessive power that made you feel insecure."

Ran Zhihan knew that Zhang Yichen had chosen to forgive her, though he hadn’t yet gotten over it internally; she too couldn’t rush things.

She knew everything had to be approached slowly. If she pressured too much, it might backfire, and he couldn’t risk it. Maybe she really didn’t know what to do, but facing the man she loved, she had to lower her pride time and again to plead, knowing she might not get the outcome she wanted. But at least she would have tried her best, without regrets.

"Let’s leave this matter as it is, let it die out as time passes, and let’s not bring it up again. My heart certainly won’t easily forgive you. As for what to do, it’s up to you. But please, don’t let Grandfather know about this. I don’t want to burden his heart. He has worried enough for us; he’s dedicated all his time for me, and I can’t worry him further with my own troubles when he’s toiled his life away. I hope you understand the struggle I’ve endured."

"I know. Don’t worry, I will not tell Grandfather about this. Instead, from now on, I will take good care of you, take care of Grandfather, and look after our family. I won’t wander off again. I’ve learned from my mistake. I have come to understand the complexities of human nature. I won’t be naive anymore, thinking that everyone in the world genuinely wishes me well and wants to be my friend. I won’t be fooled again, believing no one would ever betray me. The fact is different; no one can ever outsmart fate, and some would do anything for money. I truly understand now, it’s best to be at peace at home. To support my husband and teach our children is enough for me. I may not be capable or learned, but at least I know what should and shouldn’t be done. Such an incident will not happen again. You can completely trust me, or you may choose not to, but I will prove everything with my actions. Thank you for letting this matter end without consequence!"