My Alleged Husband

Chapter 559 - 538 Weakness_1

"Actually, I have to admire you," she said bitterly, "you’ve managed to exploit my weaknesses over and over again, know that? Those healed wounds, already scarred, were cruelly torn open by you, and you rubbed salt into them. Do you know how that hurts? I believe you’ll never understand that kind of pain in your lifetime. All I ever wanted was an ordinary life, yet because of you, it turned out to be endlessly futile!"

"No matter how much I once hated you, how much I loved you, I am now devoid of both love and hate for you. So, I’ve left you thoroughly in the dark. You don’t need to keep doing those ridiculous things for my sake, things that others mock. You should live your life openly and honestly, a life that could have been so beautiful. Why should it shatter so terribly because of me?"

"Let go!"

Zhang Zhentian didn’t say anything; he walked away with long strides, knowing there was nothing he could do.

He stood there, watching the woman he loved most before his very eyes, yet he was powerless. He could reach out, pull her back into his embrace, but he was controlled by his dignity, manipulated by his own rationality, unable to do so. If he did, he would utterly lose face, and time and again, his reluctance to act had cost him the best opportunities. A man who could have been happy lost his original smile because of himself.

At that moment, he truly felt lost. Can one really never forget their original intention? He had never forgotten what he truly wanted, but in the end, he was blinded by self-interest, hurting the woman he loved the most. He had thought, if time could rewind, he definitely would not have made such impulsive and irrational decisions. If it wasn’t for that one act, how could he have become what he was now? How could it be that his wife would rather die than return to his side? Was all of it really unrelated to him? Were all these terrible outcomes really only because of his own misconduct? What right did he have to blame others? Everything was his fault; what right did he have to say that the error lay elsewhere, that he was not at fault at all? His heart was truly conflicted and pained, watching his woman drift away from him, unable to hold her, to kiss her, only to watch her go, feeling utterly helpless, a pain he never wanted to experience again in his life.

When Xia Jing turned around at that moment, tears slid down her cheeks. Her heart ached too. She saw the man she loved most before her, yet he was controlled by his own reason. He completely refused to lower his head to her again. What could she say? Was she supposed to humiliate herself and grovel? She wouldn’t allow such things to happen before her eyes. She could lose everything, but she had to keep her self-respect. If she lost even that, what was the point of living?

On the contrary, she was now quite content. She had received the sincere confession she had coveted for so many years, gained the freedom she had longed for yet could never reach. What else could she be dissatisfied with?

She knew her heart yearned for more. Her ambition could control everything, but she didn’t want her ambition to obtain everything. She didn’t desire an ordinary life till the end.

The hearts of both of them were heavy with sorrow. Though they knew the outcome of their actions and what kind of ending lay ahead, in the end, neither one of them kept the other. Self-respect remained paramount in their hearts. Who in this world doesn’t value their dignity? Without it, what’s the point of living? Yet recalling how she had been willing to give up all her pride for that man, only to end with this, would leave anyone with a sense of injustice. But feeling wronged didn’t mean allowing ambition to take control entirely.

As Xia Jingyi walked away, she muttered to herself, "You did everything to get rid of me; I hope you can be happy and joyful in the rest of your life, achieving everything you desire. Otherwise, the efforts I made, the pain I disregarded in my heart to help you attain your goal, will have been in vain. You must live happily, always, even if I am not by your side. I believe that one day you will reach the heights you’ve aspired to. But by then, I may no longer be in this world."

She kept telling herself not to cry, not to shed tears. To let go of the man she loved the most, what’s to stop me from doing whatever it takes to help him achieve his dreams and ambitions, even if it means leaving to the ends of the earth?

If Zhang Zhentian knew what Xia Jing was thinking, he definitely would not have turned and walked away. He would never know what his wife truly wanted in her heart. He had always thought his own reasoning was correct, oblivious to the turmoil and pain his bedside companion suffered. Someone was giving up cherished feelings to fulfill his pursuit of happiness and freedom. In the end, he still did not understand what he really wanted.

Zhang Zhentian told himself, "Xia Jing, even though I still don’t comprehend the reasons for your resolute departure, I hope you realize that since you chose to leave, you should live peacefully. When the day comes that I find you, that will be the day we reunite. From that moment on, I will keep you close by my side, ensuring you can never escape my sight. You will forever be my wife, and no other woman will take your place. I hope you quietly wait for me to find you, to bring you home, wait for our family to be together again, to be by the side of our father and our son, sharing our joy together."