My Alleged Husband

Chapter 558 - 537: How Can One Not Be Moved?_1

When Xia Jing heard Zhang Zhentian speak those words, her tears could no longer be stopped from flowing. She was truly moved; it was impossible not to be affected. All her life, she had longed for the day when she might receive a deep confession of love from her husband. Perhaps it had come far too late, but she felt extremely grateful to be able to hear her husband’s heartfelt confession at a time when they were about to part. It was the confession she had dreamt of for so many years, one she had never realized, and now it had finally come to fruition. Nevertheless, it came just as they faced separation—a separation that might mean they could never be together again in this lifetime. Her heart was reluctant to accept this, after all, he was the husband she had lived with for over a decade. To cut off all ties so abruptly, to forget all the unforgettable moments, who could be so heartless?

When she wanted to tell Zhang Zhentian to stop talking, not to continue speaking those words, she realized that she was already too moved to speak. All she could do was watch silently as her husband confessed to her, powerless to do anything. How she wished that time could stand still, that she could always remember this moment, this scene today. She didn’t want to leave him, to just continue living beside her husband was her fervent hope—an expectation that made her heart beat fervently. She thought that if there came a day when her husband would allow her back into his life and not lose hope in her again, she would join him hand in hand, and never speak of parting again. Yet, that day seemed so far away for the both of them, perhaps even hopelessly out of reach!

She knew that she had once again been moved by her husband, that her heart was once again beating for this man. She wanted to stop it from happening, but found herself powerless. She knew all too well that this man before her had hurt her deeply, and yet, she was ready to jump back into the maelstrom. She never imagined she could be so foolish. All she wanted was an ordinary life, but it had become so complicated because of this man. She had given so much for him, and yet in the end, he had cruelly cast her aside. Now, because of a few sweet words, she was subdued once again!

"Don’t say any more.

It’s impossible between us. Although hearing you say these things makes my heart beat for you, I really don’t want to waste my time on you any longer. I can’t afford to spend another moment of my youth on this, decades of youth, which might mean little to you, but for a woman, they are her most valuable time. I devoted all my precious time to you, only to be repaid with you ruthlessly abandoning me. How could I not hate you? This hatred, I cannot let her forget, I can only keep it in my heart forever. I want you to understand, as long as I live, this hatred towards you will not disappear.

However, I am still thankful to you, because today, you fulfilled my biggest inner longing. Since you have fulfilled that for me, we should no longer keep in touch. Continuing like this will lead to no good end. It’s time for us to say goodbye. After this farewell, let’s never contact each other again. That way, both of us can return to where we began, as if we had never known each other. We can start anew, our own lives, and in the future, no matter who—whether you take a wife or I am part of a family—it will have nothing to do with the other. Please do not interfere in my life anymore. We really have reached the end.

I know you have more to say, but I ask you not to. Just stay there silently and listen as I tell you what is in my heart. Thank you for the love you gave me, thank you for every word you said to me today. I will remember every word you said today deeply and for the rest of my life. Even if I live far away with another man, I will not forget what you have said today. If you had said these things earlier, I would have thought it a wonderful promise to me, and I would have dedicated myself entirely to you, but I can’t be that foolish anymore. I cannot give up everything for you because you are not worth it.

We reached this point neither because of you nor me. We both did nothing wrong. If we must blame something, it can only be fate that toys with us. The way things are now is not what either of us wanted to see. There is no couple in the world that does not experience separation, that does not go through pain. As long as we keep our original intentions steadfast, we may be able to return to how we once were. This may not make sense to you now, but gradually, you will understand. When I leave you, you will realize that you could have lived happily with me, and it was you who destroyed our greatest happiness."

"Xia Jing, I’m sorry, there is nothing I can do now, absolutely nothing. All I can do is say to you deeply, I’m sorry. It’s my fault. It’s me who destroyed our happiness. It’s me who hurt you to the core, who made you completely disillusioned with me. Everything, everything is because of me that you have become what you are today. If your heart truly cannot forgive me, then please hate me forever, because by hating me, you will remember me. I don’t dare to ask for you to love me again, but as long as you have me in your heart, even if it is hatred, I am content..."

Zhang Zhentian left after saying this.

She felt a little afraid that if she continued the conversation, she would not be able to help begging for mercy, wanting desperately for the woman she loved to stay by her side. He didn’t want to lose his dignity once again; his dignity had already been shamelessly thrown to the ground. Could he really allow it to be trampled over again? He mustn’t allow such a thing to happen. With forced restraint against the pain in his heart, he had to make the right choice. Only then could he understand that many things were in the past, could only be the past, and there was no way to go back to how they originally were.