My Alleged Husband

Chapter 555 - 534 Why Give Me Hope?_1

Zhang Zhentian felt that whatever his wife said now was in the heat of the moment, and perhaps only when she thoroughly calmed down would he have the chance to discuss his strategy with her.

But he didn’t realize that since she had spoken such decisive words this time, their lives truly had no possibility of reconciliation. Why continue to clutch at a hope that never existed, begging others only to be met with endless pain and despair? Why allow oneself to be hurt to the core, only to be covered in wounds all over again?

"I once thought that if I could see your sincere repentance, I might give you another chance, return to your side, and accompany you for the rest of my life, never leaving you again. But in the end, I understood that all of this was impossible. Love had long since departed our hearts, we were not suited to live together. Continuing our life together would only lead us to deathly agony. We were once so loving, but in the end, it was a non-existent lie that you completely shattered the loving scenes we had!"

"I really don’t know how to treat you. I’m afraid that if I give you hope, it will only lead to another disappointment for you, and you will ultimately have to face the situation of leaving me. At that time, you would just be enduring the pain once more, a pain far more severe than the first time you bore it. I can’t bear to see you, the one I love the most, suffer like that. But it seems that you have never cared about my inner thoughts. You care about is the benefits in your hands, how much power you hold, your ambition is as great as your power. You have always disapproved of a woman leading the Mercenaries, always aiming to seize power. Since you so desire it, then take it all. Everything is given to you, for I don’t care about it anymore. All that I cared about has vanished, and you’re no longer the person I care about..."

Zhang Zhentian’s heart was clear, it wasn’t about giving him hope, nor despair, but about thoroughly telling him the true reality of the situation. Perhaps only after accepting these truths would he understand the reasoning behind them. But she still didn’t want to accept these truths, because once accepted, it meant she could no longer return to the past. But could she truly revisit the days of the past by not accepting the reality?

"I don’t understand if I hold any place in your heart at all. If I do, please don’t treat me this way. The injuries of the past are beyond words, but all I want is to create a future with you, to rule the world together, to walk steadily through life. Is that not good enough? Why inflict such pain on me, making me repeatedly feel like dying?"

"Was it I who hurt you? When you hurt me in the beginning, did you ever consider how much pain I felt in my heart? That despair, knowing full well the pain I was about to face, knowing that leaving you would plunge me into an abyss, yet still being forced to sign and ultimately leave you. And now, what right do you have to say those words to me? Don’t you find it funny saying this? The situation has developed to this point, and it’s all due to your own doing, and yet you wish to pin all the blame on me. Do you think that’s possible?"

"Since you never thought about reconciling with me and continuing our lives together, then why give me hope? Why let me climb from hell to heaven, only to then drag me from heaven back down to hell, making me experience such violent ups and downs once more?

You fully know how desperately I want to win you back, yet you still use this matter to hurt me. In your heart, what am I to you, a pet to be summoned and pampered, or something else, or perhaps even a stranger without any place in your heart?"

"Calling you foolish, you really don’t believe it, do you? You say I gave you hope, was it not to be with you again? I simply let you climb laboriously from hell to heaven, then gave you despair, to let you fall from heaven to hell. The emotional rollercoaster you experienced must have moved you deeply, feeling the intense emotions. I don’t know what you want, but let me tell you very clearly, you just asked what you mean to me. Now, I will answer you, you mean nothing to me, not a pet to call upon, you don’t deserve that, nor anything else. You’re not even a stranger in my heart, so what our relationship is, you surely know without me needing to say more. Giving you hope is nothing more than leading you to despair. I let you experience this pain time and again, so that you understand what you’ll get by hurting me, to let you know what to do, what not to do, what to say, what not to say. The persistence you should have and the one you should not, don’t even let the thought arise. Otherwise, in the end, it’s only yourself who gets hurt. Why voluntarily reopen wounds that had scabbed over, leaving yourself bleeding, to be hurt once more? Knowing the outcome will be further wounds, why still foolishly engage in such actions?

If it were the you from before, you wouldn’t need to do these things. Just one word from you, and I would’ve gone through fire and water for you, not even fearing death. But after I saw your true colors, no matter how you treat me, I will never give my all for you again because you don’t deserve it. If you’re using this matter to seek my sympathy, congratulations, you’ve succeeded, but I still can’t go back to the starting point with you. The past can’t ever return in this lifetime, so I hope you understand clearly what you should and shouldn’t do. Especially those who love you without regard for anything else, even willing to give up their own lives, never hurt such people. Heaven is watching. If you hurt such a person, you’ll be the one who ends up hurt, the repercussions would be even worse, and not the slightest bit lessened. Don’t be deluded, heaven won’t let a bad person get away with their misdeeds, living freely – that’s impossible!"

At last, Zhang Zhentian understood; it turned out that his wife had given him hope only to let him fall from the paradise of life into the abyss of pain once more. With no other choice, he could only silently endure the torment brought by such agony...