My Alleged Husband

Chapter 468 - 447 Do You Really Not Love Anymore? (Part 1)_1

Zhang Zhentian had just finished saying these words to his wife and was about to turn and leave. He knew that if he actually left this time, he would never have another chance to be with his wife again in this lifetime. He did not want such a thing to happen to himself. He still hoped that he could forever be with the woman he loved, even though his wife had spoken such words to him. But deep down, she still loved him as she always did; that love had never changed. He knew how hard-won this love was, he understood what all his past efforts were for. Although he had long become numb, his love for his wife never changed. But why? What reason had turned him into the person he was now, into being so at odds with his wife like this?

Xia Jing, seeing the moment Zhang Zhentian turned to leave, knew in her heart that she couldn’t bear to part with him, but there was no remedy. Although everything had been words she forced herself to say, when she thought back, her heart still couldn’t bear to part with him. Why would she still love him so, despite him hurting her so deeply? Why would she treat him as indispensable to her life? What was the reason for valuing this man so highly? When had he become the person he was now? Was he still the man she had fallen in love with at the start? Why was there such a big difference? It was clearly the same person standing before her, but his personality, and everything about him, had changed. Maybe she had long since grown unaccustomed to it. Perhaps she had become as numb as him, only that she had never realized she had changed!

"Xia Jing, do you really not want to give me another chance for us to live happily together? Do we really have to end up like this? We loved each other so much once. What reason has made us become like this now? Do you truly not love me anymore? What about the vows we swore to by the sea and mountains, the storms we faced hand in hand, the challenges we overcame together? Do they really mean so little to you? Don’t you know how desperately I want you to stay by my side, to accompany me? This love is very important to me. Perhaps this love means nothing in your eyes, but can you understand my earnest feelings? My love for you remains the same as before, it has never changed, even if you have spoken such heartless and unfeeling words to me. I still love you, and this love will never change until I die. I admit I have become numb, but even so, my heart still yearns for you. Has this love never changed? What about your heart, do you still love me? Do you still consider me as the most important person?" Zhang Zhentian said, unwilling to relent, wanting Xia Jing by his side. He did not want his wife to leave him, for if she did, his heart would be void of love.

Xia Jing, listening to her ex-husband’s touching words, struggled internally. Although she did not love him as she once did, how could she just stop loving someone with whom she had shared such a passionate love? Despite his numerous mistakes, which caused her to take the fall for him, she still couldn’t let go of him. Why would she repeatedly hurt them both if he truly did not want to be with her? Was their mutual affection really that significant? Wouldn’t a happy life together suffice? But she also knew that she could no longer be as willful and selfish as before. She had been too young in the past, not understanding these great truths. Now that she was growing older, why continue with such willfulness? Having hurt many who cared and loved her, that pain could never be healed. Did she still want to hurt this man whom she had once loved so deeply?

"It’s not that I don’t want to be with you, but we are truly incompatible. From the beginning, we were not meant to be together. Because we forced ourselves to be together, we hurt so much love and so many people who cared about us. Do you realize that? Sometimes I regret it myself. Every time I was with you, I felt so much remorse. I don’t know what I could do to stop hurting those who care for me, but I have found it impossible. You say your love for me has never changed, but has my love for you ever changed? Despite all the times you’ve hurt me and blamed me, my love for you remains the same and will not change in this lifetime. But we can’t be together anymore. If we stay together now, we might break up over disagreements again someday, and we would then once again face parting, hurting those who love us all over again. Why should we keep repeating this cycle of hurting them? Do we want to see them in such agony? Can our hearts be happy and live happily if we see their suffering? Even if you could, I can’t anymore. My heart can’t take it any longer because of the things you’ve said to me. My heart has been torn to shreds, but I still love you so much. This love will never change for the rest of my life. I had no ulterior motive when I got together with you; I just felt that you were a particularly good and honest man, someone I could rely on for a lifetime. I considered what we had very important. How much I wish that one day you would realize that I am also the person you love most, and that will never change."

"Since you still love me, why wouldn’t you want to be with me? Is being with me really that distressing, that unbearable for you? Have you never felt a moment of happiness or joy with me? Could it really be that I can never make you feel happy? I do all this for you. I just hope to be with the person I love, to live together sweetly for a lifetime..."