My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1360 - 1183: Thoughts Within the Heart

Have you ever considered my innermost thoughts? Only I know the pain in my heart; watching what I love leave, yet my inner self remains restless.

In the days that followed, Zhang Zhentian cleaned the house daily with his wife. His father passed by him time and again, yet chose not to say a word, perhaps seeing him as a son who never measured up.

After making so many mistakes, what right do I have to expect my family to endlessly forgive every error I’ve committed?

Xia Jing could see that her husband was still deeply troubled. Although there were things beyond his control, everything became unbearable because of her actions. If only she had been more understanding in the beginning, if she had chosen to stay, perhaps things wouldn’t have turned out this way. Thinking back, all the mistakes stemmed from her stubbornness and selfishness.

Reflecting on everything now, it seems as though nothing she did was right. She hurt her family repeatedly, causing them sadness and distress. Because of her, the family became dispersed, unable to come together even during festivals, only able to miss each other from afar.

Looking back, she had indeed lost so much, things she could never recover in this lifetime. The mistakes she made brought sorrow to everyone. If time could turn back, would she make the same choices and end up with the same outcome?

Zhang Zhentian didn’t notice the change in his wife’s expression. He thought his father couldn’t come to terms with him due to past mistakes, leaving his father resentful of certificates. If his father could forgive him, he would eventually speak to him. Although it was disrespectful for a younger generation to wait for an elder to initiate conversation, there was nothing else he could do.

"I’m sorry, my husband. If it weren’t for my actions, you wouldn’t have left this home. Your father wouldn’t harbor such resentment, and our son wouldn’t treat us this way. I can’t undo the mistakes of the past, only deeply apologize. If time could turn back, if I had another chance, I wouldn’t choose this painful ending."

"Even if the world doesn’t understand our inner feelings, I understand you. We’ve faced the same torment and trials. Through these years, we’ve seen how each endured countless nights of tears and heartache. All I wanted was a stable life, but my choices made it unbearable."

Zhang Zhentian understood this heartfelt confession from his wife. Regardless of her past mistakes, whoever she thought of, choosing to love her meant accepting every mistake. Loving meant forgiving every unacceptable consequence. Since he chose this path, he must persevere, longing for his family’s happiness beside him. No matter the final outcome, his efforts would leave him without regret.

It’s better than hiding behind family, awaiting their protection. If family chose this path to protect him, then what meaning does his existence hold?

"I know you say this for my sake, and I understand the grievances you’ve faced all these years. But I can’t shield you as a husband should, making you cry leaves me feeling like a failure. You have given so much for me, leaving my heart tormented. As my wife, I only want you to live securely, free of worries, and to smile happily every day, without dwelling on sadness and strife. However, my actions have burdened you."

"Our son treats us in this way, which pains you most as a mother. You carried him for ten months only to be abandoned due to my insistence on leaving. Yet, he holds no attachment to you."

"Sometimes I think our son truly has a ruthless heart, even towards his parents. What will he be like with strangers? Imagining his decisive nature in business scares me; I fear he’ll treat us as enemies one day. I wish our son could stay by our side, seeing us happy would be a blessing to us!"

All our mistakes are unforgivable in our son’s eyes. Even if he might forgive us someday, my father surely won’t. To him, we are persistent wrongdoers. Despite yearning to return home, he won’t let us in for our son’s sake, for his grandson is all that matters. He nurtured him with care, how could he not be concerned about our son’s well-being?"

Xia Jing truly understands this feeling, for she brought all this upon herself. Who can she blame, upon seeing her father love her son dearly? It’s comforting to know her father doesn’t take past mistakes out on her son.

Anger can destroy a person, impulsiveness opens doors to devils, why subject oneself to such pain and exhaustion?