My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1334 - 1163: Not Caring?

"Dad, Mom, honestly, I’ve known from the start that emotions aren’t reliable. No matter how much genuine care you give, what matters most is whether others don’t care, or the repeated hurt inflicted by others?"

"But I’ve never been willing to accept it, I won’t let fate control me like this. I want to manipulate fate; I want fate to become a slave for my lifetime, and not let myself be a slave to it."

Zhang Zhentian knew exactly what his father meant by saying those words to him. He understood too well how much prejudice and bias his father harbored deep inside against him. It was all a result of his own actions; who could he blame? Even if his father said unpleasant things, he had to endure.

Because only by learning to endure could his future path be less difficult. Since he chose to take this step back then, since he chose to become what he is now, what rights does he have to demand others to change for him time and again?

"Dad, I know, I know deep down you still have prejudices against me. I also know those things we did in the past aren’t so easily forgiven. I don’t blame anyone. I just want you to know that I never imagined the outcome would be like this. I never thought these years would be so tough. What I’ve always wanted was just for you to allow me to come back. I only hope you would open your hearts, but every time you chose not to voice out it’s understandable that I couldn’t put down my dignity and face to ask you to take me back. I could only rely on my meager self-esteem to get to where I am today!"

Perhaps you don’t know how difficult my journey has been, but do you know? Every time I’ve walked to this point, every time I get near our home, how much I long to come back and see how you’re doing, even if it’s just to sit down for a cup of tea and then leave. I would be willing to, yet I didn’t even have the courage to come back. When I finally mustered up the courage to return home, you chose to shut me out at that moment. It truly broke my heart. I didn’t expect my courage to ultimately crumble because, in your eyes, all my efforts to return mattered no more. You simply wouldn’t forgive me as my actions were too unforgivable!"

But today, when you chose to let me come back home, do you know how grateful I am? I thank the heavens for giving me another chance to return. I thank you for willingly letting me back, though you gradually tried to maintain your so-called dignity, yet, you are just like me.

Dad, we are all living very hard lives. We’ve all sacrificed everything for what we desired, even if it means paying a price for keeping our loved ones by our side. We’ve all been through this. I don’t know what words to use to tell you. You know every member of the Zhang Family truly is passionate. Once committed to loving a girl, once deciding to live with a woman, no matter what, they won’t let go of her hand; you should understand this feeling!

I know over the years you think I left because of my wife, but you never understood the reasons behind my actions, none of you considered why I did what I did. What I wanted was simple, not too much, nor too less. As long as my wife stays by my side, as long as I can live happily with her, as long as there’s a place for me in her heart, I can disregard everything."

When Old Master Zhang heard his son’s remarks, he felt infuriated. For years, he wished for his son and daughter-in-law to live happily, but who knew in the end his daughter-in-law’s heart wouldn’t harbor his son. To a father, this is indeed a disgrace.

"Don’t you understand in your heart yet? The woman in front of you doesn’t truly hold you dear in her heart. If it wasn’t for her arguments with you, if you hadn’t had fierce quarrels, how could you have ended up like this? Your heart only has her, disregarding even me as your father?"

Some things you should understand; you did wrong. No matter what decision you made, ultimately the result is only harm. No matter how much you sacrificed for this woman, if she doesn’t have you deep in her heart, no matter what you do for her, even if you give your all, she won’t have any place for you inside, how can you not understand this by now?"

I had thought you already understood. In my view, as long as you could make sense of things, as long as you both could live on, I wouldn’t say a word even as a father. But I didn’t expect you to still speak on her behalf. What good is it to say so many nice things for her? Look at her, does she have an ounce of remorse? None. She doesn’t care about those things. Why even bother to care for her that much?"

Son, I know every member of the Zhang Family is devoted once deciding who their wife is, they’ll follow her for life, unwavering. But what you’re experiencing is not love; she’s only using you. Can’t you see what she truly considers you as deep in her heart?"

"Dad, I don’t care what others consider me. In my inner world, as long as she’s willing to stay, even if her heart thinks of others, being able to see her constantly is happiness for me. You understand what it feels like to have a woman by your side who can brave any dangers with you and endure hardships together for so many years, don’t you? You truly don’t understand what I feel being with her. Although I’ve had a rough life, living hard every day, having her beside me brings me full happiness. That kind of happiness can’t be given by anyone else!"

The happiness from family and the happiness from a loved one are different!

Everyone chooses a different path with different outcomes in the end. I’ve heard this countless times. I truly don’t want to hear such words anymore. These words mean nothing to me now, and have no impact; I’ve grown accustomed to doing my own thing without letting anyone else’s actions change what I think!"

The paths walked, the hearts broken, the feelings given, there will come a day when no one wishes to continue living together.

When you’ve walked really far, you finally realize all of this isn’t what you wanted. What you wanted has already turned to ashes, in your eyes, it has become but a passing cloud.