My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1303 - 1132: I Was Once a Liar Too

What was once considered everything, in anyone’s eyes, who could have thought that would be the final ending? Always believing you’re living the happiest, most blissful time, while in others’ eyes, it’s just proof of your repeated foolishness. In their eyes, he never saw all the efforts you once made for him.

Whatever they said, all the attention was shifted to Zhang Nai.

"Nai’er, there are some things I need to disclose to you in advance. Never think of falling in love during your studies and personal growth journey. Such actions will bring you pain. Don’t assume that being in love is a blissful affair. Indeed, some loves are exhausting. You might give your all for a woman, while her heart may love someone else. Even if one day he professes insincerely, ’You are the one I love,’ who knows what he’ll do behind your back? Just like many girls, who genuinely love a boy and will do anything for him, but in the end, what do they get? The boy having an affair outside. Do you think such a life is one that a normal person should lead? Nobody wants to live under such shadows for a lifetime. This kind of life is suffocating and unbearably painful!"

"Why are you suddenly telling me these things? Don’t think I’m in a relationship. If so, you’re overthinking it. Everything I do is just in hopes of growing up happy and joyful. I have no regrets about what I said, and please stop overthinking. I won’t send myself to the grave at such a young age. I know how terrifying love can be, especially romantic love."

Zhang Yichen couldn’t understand why his son would say such a thing. Could it be that his son already had Li Wu but never told them? Yet he didn’t want to believe his son could make such an earth-shattering move at such a young age. He believed his son wasn’t like that, but everyone curiously looked at him, waiting for his every word.

"You really don’t have to worry. I wouldn’t fall in love during my growth and study phases. I’ve seen the situations you’re describing. I’ve witnessed a boy love a girl deeply, only for the girl to hurt him. When the girl realized her mistake, the boy chose to have a mistress outside. These situations happen far too often. When I saw this scene, I couldn’t judge right from wrong. I fear that one day, the woman I love deeply is merely pretending before me, saying every word just to appease me. That is truly terrifying. I don’t have the resilience or the capability to weather such storms.

All I want in this life is to live plainly and steadily. Living is really hard for me, and being able to live happily and freely, without restraint, is enough. If I were to live my entire life following others’ footsteps, even if I walked to the end, would that still be me? Would that still be the true me? I just want to be my true self, to show my real self to everyone, rather than relying on my façade to deceive everyone regarding my age, sympathy, or the leniency they show me time and again. Nor can I use others’ kindness, others’ goodwill, or others’ perception of my age to exploit them. I can’t use these things to harm anyone. Such actions are not what I should do. All I can do is hope to live happily and steadily. In everything I do, I just want everyone to be happy. Watching my grandparents, watching my parents, I become even more afraid of marriage.

Grandpa, Grandma, you three should be very clear. Some things have no reason or explanation. I had never experienced such feelings, but now I know what these feelings are like. Behind every disappointment lies the hope I once had. Hope is always given by others, but time after time, I watched my most beloved one standing in someone else’s arms. I understand that feeling. Have any of you truly thought about what you once desired most? Is it really just to live happily and blissfully for the entirety of your life? But it’s not.

Many people are together nowadays just to cope with others or to spite the one they truly like, who hasn’t confessed to them. I don’t want to interfere in others’ relationships, much less be labeled as a mistress by others. Do you know how much I loathe mistresses when they intrude into others’ lives? I don’t understand why those women do such things. Is it really so joyous to be in another man’s bed? To intrude into others’ lives and disrupt their happiness—is that truly what they want?

I once thought that person was willing to be someone else’s mistress all his life. In his eyes, maybe ’mistress’ is an exciting word, and perhaps he’s only suitable to be a mistress in this life. No one knows how many beds he’s climbed into, how many storms he has stirred, and nobody knows whether he is clean or dirty. In the end, such people are the dirtiest, as no one knows their past.

You might not believe it when I say it, but everything is piled onto one person’s shoulders. When all challenges appear before him, one after the other, and he is powerless to solve them, his heart is actually troubled. Yet in front of his family, he can only remain calm and composed. He can’t let his family bear the training and pain that he should endure himself.

I’ve seen many harmonious families, once living happily together, torn apart by the intrusion of mistresses. In these families, people no longer even resemble human beings. Because of that, even a once happy home turns into something devoid of warmth and is no more than a deteriorated nest. Do you understand that feeling? It’s truly disheartening. I am also afraid. I fear one day I might face such a scene. I can’t determine if I will live my life effortlessly, nor can I be sure if I’ll live plainly and without restraint. But at least I truly pursued what I wanted, at least I did my utmost to achieve what I desired in this life. Even if the outcome isn’t what I wanted, I still have no regrets because giving is the best action. Action is the best proof. If I can’t prove my desires with my courage, then I’ve lived for nothing. I will never believe the insincere words of those women. Today, they might be with you, but tomorrow, they might climb into someone else’s bed behind your back. I hope things like this don’t happen to me. I only wish to live my life steadily and peacefully..."

Life is just like this, without sorrow or pain, without watch or care—perhaps this is life!