My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1234 - 1063: Losing Composure

I have gone through a series of hurts, but in the end, I got nothing for myself.

Who would willingly accept other’s harm, step by step?

Zhang Yichen had never seen his grandfather lose his composure like today. Perhaps the grievances buried deep in his heart for so many years could finally be unleashed on this day. He could clearly remember how his grandfather often held a photo and silently wept, speaking to himself in solitude. He locked himself in a separate space, and outwardly, he was always so radiant and lovable, never bringing his negative energy to anyone. He just wanted others to be happy and fulfilled. Little did he consider how much pain his grandfather endured alone.

Sometimes I wonder if a bit of concern for my grandfather would have changed the outcome. I have seen firsthand how hard life has been for him these past years, time and again. He has sacrificed so much for me, yet what have I given in return? Not even the most basic happiness could I offer him.

I am willing to give up everything for the decisions I’ve made in the past, and for the people I care about, at any cost!

If time could turn back, would I think harder about what kind of life I should give my grandfather, the attitude I should adopt towards him? All these years, his life has been filled with so much pain and sorrow. No one knew the extent of his suffering because he swallowed it all while bearing the burden silently. And what am I doing in the meantime?

"Dad, no matter what, I hope you won’t say anything more heartless to Grandpa. He really is old now and can no longer endure any more betrayal from his family. Can you perhaps show some understanding, fulfill even a little bit of filial duty? I would be grateful; do you know how much I am thankful to you? How many people have your actions hurt? Have you ever considered the resentment lurking behind your actions? You always think what you’re doing is right, but is it really correct? Has Grandpa ever wronged you during these years, since the day you were born? Did he not give you a life of comfort, making sure you lacked for nothing? Compared to others, you are happier than anyone, even without a mother. Haven’t you felt Grandpa has given you all his love?

Actually, deep down, Grandpa feels guilty towards you, which is why he poured all the love meant for his wife onto you. But in the end, all his hopes for you were dashed. You chose to fly away, leaving here alone, preferring to roam in foreign lands than return home to keep him company. Does his heart not get wounded? Is he not filled with despair?

Every action you take, you never consider his feelings. How could he then stand in your shoes and think on your behalf? People are empathetic by nature. Since you cannot treat others like family, do not expect others to endlessly forgive your mistakes. He owes you nothing.

If you return to this home only to hurt your father, to hurt me, and everyone else in the family, then I congratulate you—you’ve achieved your goal. You have gotten what you wished for. But I beg you to spare Grandpa. No matter how you hurt me, I can overlook it, pretend nothing happened, take on this self-inflicted pain. Yet Grandpa owes you nothing."

"Why are you still putting all the blame on me? Did everything I’ve done become a mistake? Was what I wanted so different from what you wanted? Why do you selfishly believe your thoughts are completely different, hence must be right?

I never intended to come home for revenge, for being turned away. I sincerely wanted to return, to be by your side. The final outcome has left me completely blindsided. I had no means to control the hurt this resulted in. Time and again, I shamelessly asked to stay, to remain home. But what did I get in return? I received nothing; I burdened myself with all the pain.

You might think I’m selfish, never considering anything from your perspective. But do you understand? If I didn’t consider things from your perspective, why would I place these feelings in our store? Why would I say these words, or put you deep in my heart again and again?

You are my family; it’s an unchangeable fact in my life. I do everything hoping everyone at home can be happy and filled with joy, wishing every family member to be safe and well. Yet all my hopes ended in vain. Shouldn’t it bring disappointment, pain, desperation to my heart?

You always feel like I’ve forced all my pains onto you. But haven’t you also imposed your suffering on me? Haven’t I endured enough harm and pain over these years? Are all your actions truly devoid of any selfishness? Do not judge others with your own mindset. Perhaps what you did isn’t the right thing. Acting this way only wrongs others, driving away those who love you the most.

Didn’t your heart hope I wouldn’t leave? Yet why have you treated me this way? Time and again, with what view of injury and hurt? You achieved nothing. You stacked all burdens upon yourself, convinced you were in the right. Finally, you’ll see everything you did was wrong because your actions hurt every loved one around you.

No matter what, today I wish to explain. I never wanted to harm you. I just repeatedly ended up unintentionally hurting you through my actions. I never meant harm, never wanted this result—these repeated consequences. Does my heart feel no regret?"

Everyone has regrets; nobody can live as they please. Having a path in life is what’s most right!