My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1225 - 1055: Tangled Beyond Repair

"We are all shocked by the paths we’ve walked. Everyone has their own responsibilities to fulfill, and sometimes we can’t understand why some people just get involved without any reason?"

Zhang Zhentian never thought his wife would get involved in this matter. He thought no matter what happened to him, his wife would never step forward to say a word for him, but today he was caught off guard. Although his wife stepped forward to speak, it was not to help him, but to reprimand him. He couldn’t understand what could possibly be so important in his wife’s eyes that she could disregard even him, who once loved her so deeply. He also wanted to know what more he had to do to make his wife change her mind and return to him. All of this made him feel very conflicted and painful inside. He just hoped he could have the life he wanted, not so painful, not so conflicted, but everything seemed so difficult and impossible.

"Xia Jing, I don’t know what position you’re taking today to say these words to me. If you’re speaking from the position of my wife, you have the right to say these things to me. If you’re not speaking from that position, then you have no right to say this to me. Do you understand that I’ve given everything for you? I would spare no cost, as long as you could stay by my side, that’s enough for me. But slowly, I realized you didn’t want to stay by my side forever. You wanted something I couldn’t give you. Why did you initially get together with me? I still don’t know if it was out of true love or some other motive. To this day, I’m still in a fog. I can’t understand how we, once so in love, have come to this point. Was it because I ruthlessly abandoned you back then? I’ve explained to you before, it was a rash decision made in a fit of anger. If you, like me, surely wouldn’t tolerate a deceitful person by your side for a lifetime. Isn’t empathy better? Why must our relationship become so tense? What I want is really not much. I just hope my wife could love me, sincerely care for me, and consider me her most important person. Is that too much to ask? Maybe you think my thoughts are selfish, but who wouldn’t think this way? No husband doesn’t want to be the only one in his wife’s heart. I know this is selfish, but I really did it out of love for you. Haven’t I done enough selfish things for love? Why can’t you ever see my true heart?

Is my heartfelt devotion really so unworthy of even a glance in your eyes, Xia Jing? Sometimes I truly don’t understand, what kind of heart should I give you to make you feel I genuinely love you? Do I have to tear my heart out and show it to you?

For you, I would spare no cost just to make you happy. Did you know how heavy the price I paid just to make you smile once? To make you happy, I joined your Mercenary Group, I gave up on all of my father’s expectations for me, and for you, I even abandoned my family. But you, what did you do in return? More lies to hurt me completely again and again!"

Zhang Zhentian’s words left Xia Jing speechless because she knew everything he said was the truth. She had indeed been selfish and self-serving before, so what right and qualification did she have to speak against him now? Standing here, was she speaking as his wife or from some other standpoint? Even Xia Jing herself didn’t know.

Deep down, Xia Jing always felt that no matter what she did, she was the most perfect in her husband’s eyes. Her husband wouldn’t abandon her because of the mistakes she made.

Back then, weren’t we living painfully like this again and again?

But the end result was that Xia Jing was greatly disappointed when her husband not only abandoned her because of his lies but also refused to reunite with her. When time after time, her pleas for forgiveness went unanswered, she finally realized there was really no chance left for her with the man she loved the most.

Just as Xia Jing was feeling utterly despondent about her marriage, her husband came to her wanting to reconcile. It left her feeling bittersweet. She didn’t know what to do. Gradually, she’d lost herself inside, lost about what decision she should make that would be right. She didn’t want to hurt the man she once loved the most again. She also knew how deeply her husband loved her, loving her to the bone, unwilling to let her suffer even the slightest harm. Yet, because of lies, she repeatedly wounded him completely.

"I have no words to counter every word you’ve said today because everything you said is the truth. I am indeed selfish. My selfishness far exceeded yours, it turned us into what we are now because of it!

Many things have passed, can’t we let bygones be bygones, and let them fade away like clouds blown by the wind? Why keep harping on it? Does it truly bring happiness or joy to either of us? Is this the happiness we both desire? Often, our hearts each pursue different things, don’t they?

I know today I acted impulsively. I shouldn’t have come running to vent and curse at you. I shouldn’t have made you feel worthless. Often, I feel I am not as good as you, that I am less capable in handling people and matters than you. Every decision I make is less thought-out than you, as I never consider the consequences. But you’ve always been thinking about me, while I’ve always been ungrateful, failing to appreciate, rejecting your kindness again and again. I know you’re genuinely hurting inside, but sometimes I can’t help it. I am just this kind of person. Falling in love with me was the biggest mistake you made in this lifetime. You should never have, absolutely should not have, fallen for me, married me, and should not have abandoned your family for this woman. This is your greatest mistake, and perhaps it’s your biggest regret too?"

"No matter what you’ve done or said before, I’ve never regretted loving you, Xia Jing. Whether I abandoned my family for you or opposed my parents for you, in my eyes, you are the best and I’ll never regret it. Marrying you is the greatest fortune of my life..."

"We all wish to live happily, but never imagined life would become so difficult like this. Once, it seemed as long as my family was together, everything would be fine. But now, it feels like everything was just a dream..."