novelraw Chapter 1201 - 1031: Never Lost
Chapter 1201 - 1031: Never Lost
Old Master Zhang felt that since the past had already become the past, why should it still dictate the lives of his family? There was no need to let those unhappy events repeatedly hinder the reunion of his family. Perhaps what he most desired now was merely the return of his family members. The moment they returned to this family, he had already forgotten all the hurt.
"Zhentian, Xia Jing, the moment you both decided to return to this home, I had already forgotten many of the past things. I will no longer make any decisive decisions as I did before because that would be unfair to you. Perhaps each of us should walk our own life path. You both have walked a long, long road, one that we had no way to walk with you, nor any way to help you on.
In fact, you also know that I used to be a tyrannical and self-opinionated person. For so many years, perhaps I’ve never changed this bad habit, but do you know? Since you came back to this home and were willing to stay by my side to accompany me, I decided that I would change all my previous bad habits.
Some words may sound like fantasy to you, with no way to understand, no way to achieve, and no reason to believe, but I hope you can give us a chance for mutual understanding and trust. Do not harm everyone in such a way.
The greatest taboo between people is mutual suspicion and mistrust. That is the greatest pain in one’s life. Perhaps you think it doesn’t matter, but do you know that when someone most desires understanding and support from others, when he gives his all time and again but gets only doubt from others in return, how does he feel in his heart? How should he gradually walk that path he’s on, and how should he step into the life path he most wishes to have?
Since you have decided to return home, why should I hold onto the past so tightly? That would be incredibly unfair to you. You are my children, and your decision to return already proves that deep inside, you want a warm family, a safe harbor of love. You don’t want your life to be so shattered, and you wish to have feelings that truly belong to you."
"Dad, in fact, you understand very well deep down how terrifying each action of each person can be to others. There were times when I thought about how I should face everyone, face all the theories and criticisms regarding myself when I walked to the end of my life time and again.
I have never been as clear-headed as when I returned to this home. Every decision, every path I took before was filled with fear. I was afraid of my actions hurting everyone in the family. Every morning when I woke up, I was nervous and scared. I was afraid that one day I’d face the family again and be left speechless, unable to meet them again. I was helpless and truly afraid.
In my eyes, as long as I can stay in this family, no matter how much grievance I endure, I won’t be afraid. I used to be so cowardly, so cold and emotionless, causing harm in the family. But now I am braver, more remarkable. I want to have a standing in this family, one not given by others but earned through my own efforts and actions.
Perhaps every action I took in the past really hurt you, but I have truly reformed now. The path I wish to walk is to reach the peak of life step by step on my own terms, not through others’ pity or offerings.
Everyone believes my son’s success is unreachable, yet they never consider the harm he suffered. His own parents abandoned him time and again. How could he not be compelled to grow stronger? If he remained timid, my son couldn’t have reached where he is now. I never had his perseverance, nor all that he had experienced. Since middle school, I had no mother, but at least I understood that my father accompanied me, raised me up without leaving me. But what about me? I never heard the responsibilities of a father fulfilled.
In the past, I might have blamed my child for not having the slightest affection for me, but now I’ve come to understand that everything is the consequence of my actions. Why should I blame him when he doesn’t owe me anything? Every time he forgave me and pleaded for me to return home, what right do I have to complain? It’s not that I’m unreasonable; some things I just don’t want to make so rational. Being wise is too exhausting, while ignorance brings ease and happiness."
Old Master Zhang surely knew how exhausting it was to live clearly. His early life was so hard, yet his later years were so relaxed. It’s unclear if this ease came from a change in his mindset or the care he received from his grandson.
Watching himself step by step come to this point, seeing himself surpass everyone time and again, he knew he was no longer the person he used to be.
He now longed for the most sincere emotions in his heart. In his eyes, he could disregard everything else, but he couldn’t forget the hurt he once suffered. Everyone has ambitions, and it’s the same for him. Even though he’s old now, with gray hair, his vibrant heart has never stopped.
"No matter why you returned to this home, whether sincerely repentant or not, whatever you did before is already the past. Why should we keep comparing the past to tomorrow? We should now be our best selves, walk the path we yearn for, live the life we desire, and seriously think about how to regain all that we lost in the past!"