My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1101 - 952: You Cannot Understand

I always remember what the life I truly desire deep down is like. I’ve never given up hope because I know that only by tightly grasping hope can everyone around you realize that hope is actually by your side.

Don’t give up your greatest life aspirations over and over again for some unchanging things. No one could ever understand, what kind of feelings they have in their hearts right now, standing here facing their dearest ones, yet feeling powerless, being inside there, being the dearest and best friend, yet he can only lie there alone, with no one able to share his burden, and no one able to talk with him, it is sheer torture for everyone’s hearts.

"Xiao Wei, I really appreciate you for making a special trip back to see me, but do you know? I also want you to live your own life well. I know that deep down you always have me in your heart, you treat me as your closest family, you will never betray me no matter where or when. However, no matter what, I can’t bear to see you toiling back and forth just for me. You should live the life you ought to live with your wife.

This accident was unexpected, completely beyond my expectations. I never thought I would one day encounter such a car accident, but this once, it is truly my own doing. I blame no one for it, no matter what consequences this issue brings me, whatever outcome I face, I’ll shoulder it all with full responsibility. Since it was an error I committed, why should I involve others?

Gradually, I’ve come to understand why they say people’s hearts are this way: only when you’ve lost something, do you realize how important it was to you. Again and again, must I wait until I’ve completely lost those closest to me to know that not everything is as I imagined, and that hurting those people at will, disregarding their feelings, is not something you can do without consequences. One day, he too will grow cold-hearted because of his actions. Ultimately, even the heavens will not overlook it and will bring punishment upon you!"

Xiao Wei knows that Xia Jing is full of self-blame.

He also doesn’t know how to comfort his sister, seeing her living in such pain, how could his heart be at ease? But some things simply can’t be resolved, he doesn’t know what to say either, his sister has to personally experience and understand these things to achieve certain results, relying solely on others’ persuasion is pointless. Even if they manage to reconcile, without the fundamental trust and feelings between them, all that’s left is suspicion and doubt. Could such a marriage still find happiness?

"Sis, you don’t need to blame yourself excessively. Not every issue is related to you. If you didn’t make a mistake, why should you bear the responsibility and the consequences? Just live your own life well!

Over the years, you know how you’ve gotten by, every person has a deep understanding of it. Every time you put in so much effort, the outcome wasn’t what you wanted, this too is a form of harm. Time and again you’ve endured so much pain, but you never uttered a word because you know that only by becoming stronger step by step can you reach places others can never get to, because you are clearer than anyone else, what everyone does requires their own efforts to reach the end.

It’s like this now, no amount of words can help or change anything. All we can do now is wait for Brother-in-law to wake up safely, right? If anything were to happen to him, we—everyone present—would be heartbroken. He’s our family now, even if not by blood, just a common friend experiencing a tragedy would still be regrettable, let alone he’s your husband. Nothing is more precious than family!"

Upon hearing Xiao Wei’s words, Xia Jing felt even more distressed deep inside. Never did she imagine she’d be in such a position one day. One expectation after another, one wait after another, leading only to hurt upon hurt. What must she do to make everything different? How can she make everyone understand there’s truly a space for this family in her heart?

"You’re right, I believe heaven is not heartless, it must have its own view. Any decision it makes is deeply considered, it won’t disappoint those here now. Heaven is so kind, despite all my wrongdoings, it spared me from losing everything.

I once wondered if my many wrongdoings would result in heaven taking away my life, but ultimately, I found it too merciful to me, sparing my life time after time. But, reflecting on it, perhaps it was just punishing me in disguise.

Leaving me with my life yet taking the life of the one I love most, isn’t this the greatest retribution for me? Heaven feels a sense of revenge satisfaction now while I can only stand by silently, watching the one in my heart lying there, his life slipping away. Do you know how despairing that is?

I’d rather be lying in there with him now, at least I could be by his side. Now I’m out here and can’t bear the thought of him battling in solitude. I long to be in there with him once more..."

Zhang Yichen had never before heard his mother express her feelings for his father in public so openly. At this moment, he realized that deep within, his mother indeed kept a place for his father; she just didn’t know how to express it properly. She had chosen ways that others found hard to accept, not realizing this was why everyone got hurt by her actions.

Her lack of ability to express herself brought heavy misunderstandings upon her, painting her as a woman with a heart of stone, someone never taking others’ feelings into account. Yet who knew what hardships she had faced throughout her life? No one understood how tough and painful her journey had been, reaching so far one step at a time wasn’t easy.

Today, for the first time, Zhang Yichen saw his mother as just a normal woman, capable of shedding tears and feeling pain. During hardest times, she often swallowed all the suffering herself gently and silently, never intending to reveal her world to others because she didn’t want to burden them with her pain.

In times of struggle and torment, she drowned her tears within, never allowing herself to acknowledge how tough her life truly was. Her hardships, she wished to bear alone, never wanting others to understand what kind of pain lay deep inside her heart, fearing ridicule, she chose to shoulder all the harm on her own.

Perhaps it was her stubborn nature that led everyone to believe she was impervious to harm. No amount of hurt or scorn could affect her, leaving her with no complaints. But who knows what she’s truly been through? Her concessions, made time and again, were they due to her incapacity? No, it was because she wanted everyone around to feel secure that she’d stay by their side.

"Mom, I believe what you say is true. I believe heaven is not unfeeling; it is kind and compassionate, and it will allow my father to wake up. You also need to stay strong and healthy, so when he awakens, you can embrace him with love, and in that moment, everyone around the world will be blessing you. You must hold on, awaiting the miracle to grace every member of our family, allowing us to continue living as happily as we used to. Only such a life is the most perfect one!

No matter what happened in the past, no matter the consequences and results we face eventually, we must confront them together because we are a family, and no matter the circumstances, family never abandons one another!"

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