My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1068 - 921: Asking for Help

Zhang Zhentian never expected his father to be so ruthless. As a son, he was already kneeling on the ground, pleading desperately, yet his father remained indifferent, refusing to forgive this mistake. He really didn’t know what he was thinking back then, choosing to promise in front of his son and the school that he would come back to get his father’s forgiveness. Isn’t this making things difficult for himself? Why, time and again, did he lower his dignity to beg his father, knowing full well that his father had said he wouldn’t forgive him nor would he allow his son to return home, back to his side.

Could all of this just be his own wishful thinking, simply hoping everyone in the family would treat him well and get along, so everyone could be happy together? Why then, why time after time, use unhappy events to hurt each other? Clearly, a family can live happily together, yet they choose to hurt each other, making everyone at home unsettled in the end.

Right now, he really wishes he could find a place to hide. Never in his life has he felt so humiliated as he did today, kneeling for someone else’s forgiveness while the other never mentioned forgiving him, constantly bargaining with him. To him, it’s a great insult, for he believes his father never saw him as his own son. Yet he never thought about why his father behaved this way. By acting like this, is he trying to prove whether what he did was right or wrong? In his eyes, he only saw other people’s mistakes, never his own, just like someone with two pockets: one always sees others’ faults, while the other only sees his own advantages, never realizing the harm his mistakes dealt to others.

"Dad, I really never thought I’d be kneeling here, begging you, yet you never said you’d forgive me. I don’t understand why I am doing this. If I hadn’t promised my son to get your forgiveness, I wouldn’t be kneeling here today, begging you. You’re my father, but I’ve never lost my dignity like this. I always valued my dignity greatly, yet I’ve never said much because I know that as long as I follow my heart, I can achieve what’s important to me. But the moment I realized everything I wanted was slipping away from me, do you know? I found I had changed—I am no longer the person I once knew."

I so hope that every decision you make allows everyone in the family to have a good look. I wish I could clearly see why I am doing everything I’m doing, hoping you can give us a complete family.

I also hope you will let me have the chance to be with my child, watching him live happily, and that I can make up for all the absent years.

But why won’t you give me a chance? In your eyes, am I truly so worthless? I yearn so much for a chance—a chance to turn over a new leaf—but you hurt me with your words again and again, showing me that nothing I do can bring us back to how we were."

Xia Jing couldn’t bear to watch Zhang Zhentian plead desperately to his father yet still receive no understanding. She didn’t want her husband’s dignity to be trampled this way. She hoped her husband could reclaim the dignity that was rightfully his. She decided to take all the blame upon herself. Maybe it would be better than keeping everything buried inside. If she continued this way, she really didn’t know what to do anymore.

"Dad, I’m sorry. I know leaving the family was my fault. If it weren’t for me, your son would not have abandoned you. I didn’t realize how much bitterness this left in your heart. You don’t trust anyone...

Because deep down, you believe that once people gain your trust, they will betray and hurt you. But we are not cold-hearted. We also desire the understanding and support of our families. Our past decisions were indeed wrong, and we fully realize how wrong. Can you see it from my perspective and consider my feelings? I wish everyone would think about each other’s difficulties and the kind of life they want. Can we stop hurting our relatives?

You might think that I’m the least qualified person to say this now. It was me who made things like they are today. What right do I have to ask for your forgiveness now?

I only want to make peace with myself. I regret what I did. If there was a medicine for regret, I would take it. If time could rewind, I would go back. I would never choose to abandon my child. As a mother, not being able to see my child all these years is heartbreaking. Although I’ve dreamed of reuniting with my son, I’ve become numb. I never thought my actions would cause such a heavy burden on my child. I wish for the harm I caused to end here, never again letting our strained relationship hurt our loved ones.

I know kneeling here today, pleading with you, is in vain because you will never trust us again or forgive us. We lost your trust due to our past mistakes, and you’ll never forgive us like you used to because you just can’t..."