Konoha: The Thirty-Year-Old Uchiha Can’t Be Bothered

Chapter 327: A Strange NPC and a Very Niche Skill

Konoha.

In the backyard of Uchiha Gin's house, two figures were clashing at incredible speed. The shockwaves from their strikes sent the neatly-trimmed grass flying. Luckily, the two women of the household were out training, otherwise they'd already have been drawn by the commotion.

"Shua-shua-shua—"

One of the figures wore a Konoha flak jacket that clearly didn't belong to this era. He wielded two oddly-shaped kunai, mercilessly targeting Gin's lower half.

The ruthless precision of the attacks made even Gin, who had seen all manner of people and things, secretly click his tongue. Thankfully, his movements were nimble enough that he hadn't lost his family jewels to this strange NPC that had suddenly spawned.

"Oi, prison brat, I don't remember offending you!"

Dodging the NPC's phantom-like strikes, Gin squinted at his face. This Konoha jōnin wasn't anyone he recognized.

Even though Gin had transmigrated here years ago, he still remembered every canon Konoha character vividly. The instant this strange jōnin appeared, Gin had tried matching him against his memories—but nothing came up.

"But judging from that crest on your back, you're Uchiha stock. And this is how you treat an old, lonely man?"

Gin tsked and shook his head dramatically. Strangely enough, the NPC froze, lowering his kunai. He stared blankly at Gin, a flicker of emotion flashing through his dazed eyes.

Gin finally got a good look. The man wore the standard Konoha jōnin vest—but where the Uzumaki clan swirl should've been, it was an Uchiha crest instead.

His face was plain but somewhat handsome, with the clan's typical spiky hairstyle. What stood out most: he was missing an eye, a small eyepatch covering the left side of his face. A pitiful one-eyed cripple.

"Shoop!"

As Gin inspected him, the Uchiha youth's lone eye suddenly glowed scarlet. In the blink of an eye, his body warped into a vortex and vanished.

The next instant—

Whoosh!

He emerged from a swirling void right behind Gin, kunai thrusting for Gin's backside. His lone eye gleamed with excitement.

Yes! I'll win!

"Puchi!"

But before victory could land on his face, a blade of crackling lightning pierced his kidney first.

"Chidori Nagashi: Tonso Sword~"

"Boom!"

The Gin in front of him burst into smoke. He turned, horrified, only to see Gin behind him, one hand digging his nose, the other holding a lightning blade that had already skewered him.

"Plop—"

The one-eyed Uchiha collapsed, snatched away by a glowing system screen. His face, full of despair and regret, was almost heartbreaking.

"…That was Mangekyō, wasn't it?"

Gin rubbed his chin. The eye pattern had been nothing like a normal three-tomoe. Judging from the ability, it seemed similar to Kamui.

Kamui…? Wait. Wasn't he missing an eye too?

Gin's eyes widened. That guy looked a hell of a lot like Uchiha Obito!

"…Then doesn't that mean I can farm another Kamui?"

His excitement spiked. Forget wondering why Obito had turned up like this. If he could get Mangekyō-level skills, that was jackpot.

"Backyard Daily Refresh: Random Skill Obtained [Konoha Secret Taijutsu: Sennen Goroshi]. You have received: Sennen Goroshi fragment x1."

[Konoha Secret Taijutsu: Sennen Goroshi (4/10). Collect 10 fragments to synthesize.]

"…%@#￥%...%&...#%!"

Gin nearly coughed blood. Where was his Mangekyō jutsu? Why the hell had the system given him this instead—against a Mangekyō opponent no less?!

"Well… only you two clowns could drop such a niche skill."

He glanced at his skill list and chuckled helplessly. Four fragments now, all for that move. One had dropped from this Obito-like youth. The other three were "generous donations" from Konoha's most infamous prankster. Clearly, those two were tight.

"Forget it. Another day, another chance."

Shrugging it off, Gin walked back into the house. With Mitsuko and Itama still out training, and his stomach growling, he decided to head into town for a meal to heal his bruised heart.

But before he could decide what to eat, he spotted a group of familiar faces—Sarutobi Sasuke's squad, just returning from their mission.

"Yoh! Sasuke prison bro, you're looking pale. Injured?"

Gin grinned, greeting him cheerfully while pretending not to notice the man's worn-out expression.

"…Just an accident during the mission. I'm fine, Gin-san."

Sasuke forced a tired smile and waved him off.

"Gin-san!"

The six kids behind him lit up, hurrying over to greet Gin respectfully. Even Danzo, usually so prickly, bowed deeply. After all, it was Gin's unique Butt Release that had saved his life.

"You kids don't look much better either. Hungry?"

Gin's brows rose at their thin, tired faces.

Sarutobi Hiruzen couldn't hold back anymore. He angrily told Gin about their stingy captain, who had kept them on bland vegetables during the trip.

"Cough! Hiruzen… I'll submit the mission report first. You all can relax."

Embarrassed, Sasuke escaped in a puff of smoke.

"Grumble-grumble—"

The six bellies rumbled at once. Their faces flushed.

Gin chuckled. "Alright, sensei will treat you. A celebration for your first mission's survival."

"…But we failed."

"Survival is also success. Even your captain was injured, yet you came back unharmed. That's luck—and strength."

He ruffled Hiruzen's head. The boy's eyes lit up with warmth. Soon, all six brightened again, the shadows lifted.

"What do you want to eat? Anything goes."

"Barbecue!"

They cheered in unison.

—

Meanwhile, in the Hokage's office…

Senju Hashirama twirled his brush absentmindedly, watching Tobirama blaze through paperwork like a machine.

"…Tobirama, let's get barbecue tonight?"

Snap!

Several heads jerked up. Veins bulged.

"Big brother! Do you have any idea how much work I'm drowning in?"

Tobirama snarled.

"Hah? Wasn't it you who insisted on doing it?"

"Only because you're useless with paperwork! If Madara were here, I wouldn't have to pick up your slack!"

At the mention of that "gentle secretary," Hashirama teared up. Madara had been diligent, helpful… and even loaned him gambling funds sometimes. Truly irreplaceable.

"You realize," Tobirama muttered darkly, "we haven't heard from him in a month. Maybe he's betrayed Konoha."

"Impossible! Madara isn't like that!" Hashirama slammed the desk, eyes blazing.

The brothers' bickering was cut off by a knock. Sasuke walked in, pale, bowing.

"Fire Shadow-sama. Deputy-sama."

They both noticed his condition immediately.

"You're injured? What happened?"

"…Apologies. The mission failed."

He bowed deeply, shame etched across his face.

They listened to his report in silence: the man-eating ghost, the rogue Grass shinobi, the Rider who destroyed them both.

"…So this Rider defeated foes even you couldn't handle." Tobirama's voice was grave.

"Yes. He called himself Hunter Rider Ken."

"Hunter Rider Ken… what a cool name!" Hashirama's eyes sparkled with envy.

Tobirama's frown deepened. This "Rider System"… terrifying power. Too dangerous.

"Perhaps Wood Release could counter it…" Hashirama mused aloud. His hands itched for battle.

Finally, Tobirama sighed, patting Sasuke's shoulder. "Don't blame yourself. No one could have predicted this. Rest. Konoha still needs you."

"…Thank you."

But his heart sank further. Even these words mirrored his own pep talk to the children. He clenched his fists. He would train harder.

After Sasuke left, Tobirama slammed the desk. "Big brother, Grass has gone too far!"

Hashirama nodded solemnly. "Indeed. Creating monsters that eat humans… disgraceful. Tobirama, never walk such a path."

"Of course not! Am I that kind of man?!" Tobirama's face darkened.

"…Tonight, you're paying for barbecue," he added sharply.

"What? But I don't have—"

Hashirama froze, remembering his empty wallet and his wife's strict warnings against gambling. He coughed quickly: "No problem. Brother paying for brother is only right!"

—

At Darō's BBQ House, chaos reigned.

"Danzo! That was my meat!"

"Monkey, don't you know the barbecue law? Meat on the grill belongs to no one until taken. The strong prevail!"

Danzo snatched the juicy beef slice and stuffed it in his mouth, triumphant.

"Damn you!"

"Ha! I'm the King of Meat!"

But Mito Menyan calmly slid in, stealing Danzo's favorite beef tongue.

"Menyan! You—"

"You snooze, you lose."

As the kids bickered, Gin sipped sweet water, smiling softly. This… this was childhood.

Then, suddenly, he reached over and tousled Uchiha Kagami's fluffy curls.

"Kagami, my boy. My house was robbed recently. You got any clues?"

(End of Chapter)

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