novelraw Novel info
Hogwarts, i am Dementor
System, Comedy, Hogwarts, School life.
(This is the story of a jokester who transmigrates into a magical world, becomes the subject of a dark magical experiment, and strives to grow up healthily and positively—just go along with it.)
谁让这只摄魂怪进霍格沃茨的！
www.qidian.com
read more in patreon
ilham20
(This is the story of a jokester who transmigrates into a magical world, becomes the subject of a dark magical experiment, and strives to grow up healthily and positively—just go along with it.)
谁让这只摄魂怪进霍格沃茨的！
www.qidian.com
read more in patreon
ilham20
- Chapter 1 1: Cards on the Table—I’m Done Pretending, Your Dad’s a Wizard
- Chapter 2 2: Dude, You… Smell So Good
- Chapter 3 3: I’m Splitting Apart
- Chapter 4 4: Is There Something Wrong with Letting a Dementor Use a Unicorn Hair Wand?
- Chapter 5 5: The Owl "Earl"
- Chapter 6 6: Holy Crap, a Talking Dementor
- Chapter 7 7: The Hogwarts Express!
- Chapter 8 8: The Sorting Hat - Sometimes I Really Want to Call the Police
- Chapter 9 9: Time to Eat—Wait, What Are You Eating?
- Chapter 10 10: A Night of the Lustful Bird
- Chapter 11 11: Earl Gets Called In for a Chat
- Chapter 12 12: A New Life of Mischief Begins!
- Chapter 13 13: Gamp’s Law of Transfiguration
- Chapter 14 14: Surely No Little Wizard’s Actually Scared of the Forbidden Forest, Right?
- Chapter 15 15: A Teenage Dementor Won’t Bump Into a Noseless Freaky Old Man… Right?
- Chapter 16 16: The Naturally Evil Dementor Brat Prepares to Join Voldemort’s Army
- Chapter 17 17: I Took My Pants Off, and You’re Showing Me a Book?
- Chapter 18 18: Damn It, So Occlumency Doesn’t Count as Magic?
- Chapter 19 19: Alright, You’re Now a Master of Occlumency
- Chapter 20 20: Good Brother, I’ve Never Asked You for Anything in This Lifetime
- Chapter 21 21: Oh, Oh, Oh, What About the Next Day?
- Chapter 22 22: You’re a Bit Too Extreme
- Chapter 23 23: Homework Is Truly an Evil Invention
- Chapter 24 24: Shocking: A Hogwarts Headmaster Caught Doing *This* to a Student…
- Chapter 25 25: Good Kid Cohen
- Chapter 26 26: A Good Kid Thinks Avada Kedavra’s Efficiency Is Too Low
- Chapter 27 27: Cohen Did It Too
- Chapter 28 28: There’s a Difference Between a Cat Girl and an Owl
- Chapter 29 29: Birthplace Investigation Plan
- Chapter 30 30: Go Find a Troll!
- Chapter 31 31: Troll? You Too…
- Chapter 32 32: "Heavy Dependence on Mountain Trolls"
- Chapter 33 33: Heh Heh Heh, Mr. Voldemort…
- Chapter 34 34: Hogwarts’ Troublemaker
- Chapter 35 35: Don’t Mess Around, Harry and I Are Like Brothers
- Chapter 36 36: Who Ordered the Buffet?!
- Chapter 37 37: An Orphan Going to Visit Relatives Sounds Weird No Matter How You Look at It
- Chapter 38 38: Oops, I Might’ve Just Knocked Out a Relative
- Chapter 39 39: Every Adventure Story Should Have a Secret Basement
- Chapter 40 40: Mom!!!!!
- Chapter 41 41: Mommy’s Charge!
- Chapter 42 42: It Doesn’t Seem That Surprising
- Chapter 43 43: Just How Many Little Secrets Are You All Hiding From Me?
- Chapter 44 44: Christmas Gift
- Chapter 45 45: Settling In
- Chapter 46 46: Oh No, It’s Poisonous Down There!
- Chapter 47 47: *Psychological Perversion! Twisted Headmaster Stalks First-Year Wizard on Nighttime Wanderings*
- Chapter 48 48: Sorry, I Made a Mess of the Room
- Chapter 49 49: Cohen: I’ve Got an Idea
- Chapter 50 50: *My Family Has a Unicorn That Drinks Butterbeer—Want to See It?*
- Chapter 51 51: *To Hell with a Dementor Patronus*
- Chapter 52 52: “The Happy Dementor”
- Chapter 53 53: A Warm Face Against a Dementor Is Useless
- Chapter 54 54: Dragon Egg
- Chapter 55 55: Norbert Will Spend a Lifetime Healing Its Childhood **[He Really Loves Raising Things]**
- Chapter 56 56: "The Pure Unicorn Is Your Lie"
- Chapter 57 57: Thanks for the Invite, I’m in the Forbidden Forest, I’m a Unicorn
- Chapter 58 58: How Does This Kid Look Anything Like a Unicorn?!
- Chapter 59 59: Kitchen Fugitive
- Chapter 60 60: The Grand Dragon-Raising Venture!
- Chapter 61 61: Norbert Recalled a Message
- Chapter 62 62: Dumbledore: No Raising Dragons in the Castle!
- Chapter 63 63: Gimme! (Freeloader)
- Chapter 64 64: That’s How Puppy Dragons Are
- Chapter 65 65: Dumbledore’s Reminder
- Chapter 66 66: Exams Are an Arms Race of Anxiety
- Chapter 67 67: Can the Plan to Steal the Philosopher’s Stone Happen Before Final Exams?
- Chapter 68 68: A Brief Daily Routine
- Chapter 69 69: The Traitor Lies in Wait
- Chapter 70 70: Voldemort! Loyalty!
- Chapter 71 71: Quirrell: He’s Doing All My Work!
- Chapter 72 72: Give It Up, Voldemort—It’s All Dumbledore Out There!
- Chapter 73 73: Dumbledore, Don’t Do This, I’m Scared
- Chapter 74 74: Time to Strike as a Purebred Dementor!
- Chapter 75 75: Nicolas Flamel Definitely Can’t Say No to This
- Chapter 76 76: Our Meeting Wasn’t Fate—It Was Me Scheming, Plotting, and Busting My Brain to Make It Happen
- Chapter 77 77: The Legacy Two Years Later
- Chapter 78 78: Summer Homework? Leave It to My Bird**
- Chapter 79 79: Forbidden Forest Unicorn Herd Brutally Attacked by Mystery Assailant
- Chapter 80 80: Announcement**
- Chapter 81 81: Someone’s Dementor Trafficking Scheme
- Chapter 82 82: Edward’s Bizarre Adventure**
- Chapter 83 83: Portkey Stopover at Malfoy Manor, Thank You
- Chapter 84 84: We Are Harmonious and Friendly Classmates**
- Chapter 85 85: "Voldemort? He’s Kind of a Wimp"
- Chapter 86 86: Going Back to Azkaban Feels Like Going Home
- Chapter 87 87: The Content Little Black Cloaks
- Chapter 88 88: “Heil Lord Voldemort!”
- Chapter 89 89: Execute Them All!
- Chapter 90 90: Twelve Years Old, But Already a Dad
- Chapter 91 91: It’s Here to Join Us
- Chapter 92 92: The Knight Bus
- Chapter 93 93: This Time, It’s an Open and Honest Family Visit
- Chapter 94 94: A One-of-a-Kind Soul
- Chapter 95 95: The Boss Is Gone, So No *Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets*… Right?
- Chapter 96 96: Crazy Girl Luna
- Chapter 97 97: *The Quibbler*’s Real Scoop on Dementors
- Chapter 98 98: Thestrals Don’t Talk, They Just Lick
- Chapter 99 99: We Can’t Have Two Basilisks Wreaking Havoc, Right…?
- Chapter 100 100: When Voldemort Comes Knocking
- Chapter 101 101: Darn It… Little Voldy! Why Are You Hiding From Me!
- Chapter 102 102
- Chapter 103 103
- Chapter 104 104: An Unexpected Attack
- Chapter 105 105: Rat Blood
- Chapter 106 106: The First Victim-Meow
- Chapter 107 107: Villain Boss Infighting Is Always This Straightforward
- Chapter 108 108: Now You Come Crawling to Me? Ugh, Shameless!
- Chapter 109 109: You’re Not Even in Gryffindor Tower—Where’d You Go?!
- Chapter 110 110: The Weird Magical Creatures
- Chapter 111 111: A Giant Treasure Chest Ahead—Better Grab It with Both Hands
- Chapter 112 112: Holy Crap, It’s in My Bed!
- Chapter 113 113: Cohen’s About to Reach the Chamber
- Chapter 114 114: Son!!!
- Chapter 115 115: "Wahhh, I’ve Been Looking for You Forever, Wahhh…"
- Chapter 116 116: Slytherin’s Backup Plan
- Chapter 117 117: The Old Basilisk Rescue Plan
- Chapter 118 118: Why Not Ask the Magical Owl?
- Chapter 119 119: Dobby’s Arguing with Thin Air
- Chapter 120 120: Caught in the Middle
- Chapter 121 121: Tsundere’s Out of Style
- Chapter 122 122: Who the Hell’s the Real Dark Lord?!
- Chapter 123 123: Colin, You Little Punk, Won’t Listen, Huh?
- Chapter 124 124: Your Finals Exemption Chance Is Here!
- Chapter 125 125: Dumbledore Sent a Meeting Invite
- Chapter 126 126: My Summer? Travel, Family, and Raising Animals—Pretty Packed!
- Chapter 127 127: Nick: Regret, Just Pure Regret Back Then
- Chapter 128 128: Christmas Is for Family, Little Voldy—Don’t Stir Up Trouble
- Chapter 129 129: Grandma’s Here? Holy Crap, Grandma’s Here?!
- Chapter 130 130: Edward, There’s a Snake Trying to Steal Your Spot
- Chapter 131 131: Divination
- Chapter 132 132: Where Mundungus’s Loot Ended Up
- Chapter 133 133: The Great Knockturn Alley Adventure (Part 1)
- Chapter 134 134: The Great Knockturn Alley Adventure (Part 2)
- Chapter 135 135: Worshipping God, Satan, Merlin, Even Cthulhu—Fine, But Worshipping Cohen? What’s That About?
- Chapter 136 136: Kidnapped by the Silver Key, But a Rival
- Chapter 137 137: A Basilisk’s Birthday Means Gifting a Crowin’ Rooster (Not Really)
- Chapter 138 138: The Thestral Searching for Its Mother**
- Chapter 139 139: "This Place Is Full of Lunatics and Monsters, and Yet You Barged in Here to Tell Me I Shouldn't Mess with Your Mom?"
- Chapter 140 140: Are You My Followers?
- Chapter 141 141: The Stars in the Sky Stay Silent, but the Newly Hatched Basilisk Calls Out "Dad"**
- Chapter 142 142: No Male Mom!
- Chapter 143 143: Nightmare, Fire Dragon, Basilisk... What’s Next, Are You Planning to Raise a Chimaera?
- Chapter 144 144: Hogwarts' Great Benefactor!
- Chapter 145 145: Are You Going to Stay a Basement Monster Forever, or…?
- Chapter 146 146: No Time to Explain!**
- Chapter 147 147: It's Time to Deal a Heavy Blow to a Dear Friend**
- Chapter 148 148: Let’s Fight Again!
- Chapter 149 149: Dumbledore! This School Belongs to Us Now!
- Chapter 150 150: Hogwarts’ Endless Disasters
- Chapter 151 151: Youth Has No Price, My Son Melts in Your Mouth
- Chapter 152 152: Hiss—Can We Make Peace?
- Chapter 153 153: What’s This? You’re Fighting—Wait, Why’d You Stop?
- Chapter 154 154: Who Cares? Aren’t We Friends with a Half-Giant Too?
- Chapter 155 155: Fix My Wand, or I’ll Tell Mom You Were Just Watching Again
- Chapter 156 156
- Chapter 157 157: Am I Such a Failure as a Father?
- Chapter 158 158: You Just Don’t Speak the Same Language, Not That You Lack Humanity
- Chapter 159 159: "Family" Means "Hardly Any Human-Like Creatures in the Bunch"
- Chapter 160 160: The Felix Fly Tracking Expedition
- Chapter 161 161: Talk About a Small World… Want to Hit the Road with Your Buddy?**
- Chapter 162 162: Guess I’m Playing the Spy Game Now
- Chapter 163 163: They’re a Bit Too Cautious**
- Chapter 164 164: *Little Traitor Dobby Falls into Cohen’s Clutches*
- Chapter 165 165: Let’s See What the Unicorns Are Up To…**
- Chapter 166 166: *Pfft! Where’s Your Dignity?*
- Chapter 167 167: No Free Rides in Cohen’s Suitcase**
- Chapter 168 168: *These Aren’t Food!*
- Chapter 169 169: Knocking Mr. Malfoy to His Knees
- Chapter 170 170: Little Harry Gets Played by Cohen
- Chapter 171 171: Grandma’s Got Property, So Grandpa’s Just a Freeloader!
- Chapter 172 172: The Murder Case in the Old Town! (*Conan Voice*)
- Chapter 173 173: Who Keeps a Diary These Days, Anyway?
- Chapter 174 174: The Prophecy and Misunderstanding of the Horned Water Serpent
- Chapter 175 175: Magic Kitty! Steady as Can Be!
- Chapter 176 176: The Three-Headed Monster Friend According to a Certain Chatty Little Cat
- Chapter 177 177: Tom and Jerry
- Chapter 178 178: It’s Drooling… That’s Gonna Be a Bit Tricky to Handle
- Chapter 179 179: Don’t Be Too Evil…
- Chapter 180 180: If You Don’t Know the Culprit, Why Not Suspect the Mayor?
- Chapter 181 181: A Midnight Raid on the Mayor’s House—Caught Peeking at *This* from the Closet…
- Chapter 182 182: “Su… Surprise?”
- Chapter 183 183: Don’t Look Back, Boss Meow
- Chapter 184 184: You’re a “Fifth-Year Senior” Too?
- Chapter 185 185: “This Is Called Magic Redistribution!”
- Chapter 186 186: The Dumb Lion, the Tsundere Snake, and the Wise Old Goat
- Chapter 187 187: Master Criminal Cohen
- Chapter 188 188: The Fly Chaser
- Chapter 189 189: I’ve Been Dying to Try This Move!
- Chapter 190 190: Newt Will Be Thrilled
- Chapter 191 191: What Does Someone Breaking Out of Azkaban Have to Do with Me?
- Chapter 192 192: Mr. Flondo Invades Earth
- Chapter 193 193: #Sirius Black’s Night Raid on a Suspicious Creature Possibly Threatening His Godson#
- Chapter 194 194: Mop Covered in Crap—Well Played
- Chapter 195 195: If I’d Known Even Dementors Would…
- Chapter 196 196: *“Kid, Don’t Starve Yourself—Eat Up When You Can”*
- Chapter 197 197: Werewolves and Dementors—Let’s Not Judge Each Other
- Chapter 198 198: You're Not Allowed to Send Students Here as a Snack!
- Chapter 199 199: Cohen is the Real Divination Whiz!
- Chapter 200 200: Visions of Prophecy
- Chapter 201 201: Buckbeak's Sudden Attack**
- Chapter 202 202: "Anyone with Half a Brain Wouldn't Want to Study Knarls and Pass Up a Chimera"
- Chapter 203 203: Same Task Rewards? I'll Take Two!**
- Chapter 204 204: The Boggart with a Strong Survival Instinct Finally Finds "What Cohen Fears"
- Chapter 205 205: Shocking! The Savior Actually Made Out With a Dementor!**
- Chapter 206 206: Walking the Dog? That's It?
- Chapter 207 207 - Eek!
- Chapter 208 208: Why Aren't You Talking? Don't You Like It?
- Chapter 209 209: Little Voldy Contacted Me, Plans Have Changed
- Chapter 210 210: Harry Potter's Blood... Can't You Forget About Him, Little Voldy? Aren't I Enough?!
- Chapter 211 211: High-Quality Counterfeit Spell! Little Voldy!
- Chapter 212 212: Cohen's Grand Plan
- Chapter 213 213 Still eating? Black's gonna getcha!
- Chapter 214 214: Aragog and the Chimera, Take Your Pick
- Chapter 215 215 What kind of person takes time off every full moon?
- Chapter 216 216: Causing Trouble and Bringing the Kids Along, Thanks a Lot, You Guys
- Chapter 217 217 Dumbledore's Concerns
- Chapter 218 218: Knock-Off Patronus, Old Dumbledore!
- Chapter 219 219: See? Getting all worked up again
- Chapter 220 220: It's All Your Fault, You Scared Peter Pettigrew Off! (Pointing Fingers)
- Chapter 221 221: What's this "sudden onset of the 'I'm too weak to work' syndrome"?
- Chapter 222 222: Hehe, I Want to Live
- Chapter 223 223: Fudge: You all need to keep a closer eye on that Cohen…
- Chapter 224 224: Cohen the Greatly Filial Son
- Chapter 225 225: What Use is Edward at Home Anyway?
- Chapter 226 226: What About Me? What About Me? Where's My Christmas Present?
- Chapter 227 227: A Houseful of Hungry Mouths
- Chapter 228 228: Christmas Night "Fright"
- Chapter 229 229: How Did New Christmas Presents Sneak In Again?
- Chapter 230 230: Angry Sithrak
- Chapter 231 231: The Solution
- Chapter 232 232: Surveillance? Counter-Surveillance!
- Chapter 233 233: Rice Krispies for the Big Guy (Found You)
- Chapter 234 234: Other People Kiss the Boss's Robes as a Formality, But You're Using Your Tongue?!
- Chapter 235 235: Self-Fulfilling Paradox
- Chapter 236 236: This is Even Worse Than Going to Azkaban
- Chapter 237 237: Panicked Old Crouch
- Chapter 238 238: Barty Crouch Sr., That Peach-Stealing Mastermind
- Chapter 239 239: Nicolas Flamel's Wonderful Workshop
- Chapter 240 240: Retain Humanity, Retain Yourself
- Chapter 241 241: The Bottle of Hermes
- Chapter 242 242: It's Love, It's Love, Right?! (Madness)
- Chapter 243 243: Back to School
- Chapter 244 244: list novel inpatreon
- Chapter 245 244: Let's Get a Hogwarts Old-Timer to Think of a Solution
- Chapter 246 245: Cohen Refuses to Become a Patronus Charm Training Dummy
- Chapter 247 246: Voldemort: Ha! Found Cohen's Weakness!
- Chapter 248 247: What to do if I suspect my roommate wants to murder me to guarantee my postgraduate admission? Urgent, waiting online.
- Chapter 249 248: Cohen's Layer Upon Layer Upon Layer Upon Layer of Scheme!
- Chapter 250 249: Seriously? You're Going to Use a Patronus Charm Against Me?
- Chapter 251 250: I'm Laying My Cards on the Table - I'm a Dementor, the Kind That Eats Your Soul
- Chapter 252 251: A Necessary Assumption: No Rules Broken Here
- Chapter 253 252: One Must Imagine Fudge is Clever... **
- Chapter 254 253: The Prophecy Hits the Mark Precisely
- Chapter 255 254: Didn't I Tell You Dementors Were Unreliable?
- Chapter 256 255: Get Out! Or I'll... I'll Take Off My Robes!
- Chapter 257 256: Alchemists Can Make Anything Except Gold
- Chapter 258 257: Turning Human is Worse Than Being a Toilet
- Chapter 259 258: Between You and Me, I'll Just Sort Out a Body for You
- Chapter 260 259: Mr. Flurrendo's Intelligence
- Chapter 261 260: Life is About Wasting Lots and Lots of Time
- Chapter 262 261: The Normal Magic and Dark Magic in This Body Perfectly Cancel Each Other Out
- Chapter 263 262: Voldemort Posing as Voldemort
- Chapter 264 263: Hissokoh Gets His Wish
- Chapter 265 - 264: Pure Strength!
- Chapter 266 - 265: The Lakeside Inn, The Man with the Animal Head, The Unsolved Mystery… It's You!
- Chapter 267 - 266: "Give Me Some Money. Remember, 'Give,' Not 'Lend.' I'm Not That Easy to Deal With."
- Chapter 268 267: The Boat's Gone Down, The Island's Sealed Off, Now It's Werewolf Time—
- Chapter 269 - 268 – Little Detectives, Mind Your Own Business...
- Chapter 270 - 269: The Werewolf Game Begins!
- Chapter 271 - 270: The Time-Turner (vote?)
- Chapter 272 - 271 – A Close-Up View of “Mr. Crow’s Special Services” (Note: Some content in this chapter may be sensitive. Please read at your discretion.)
- Chapter 273 - 272: Another Cohen
- Chapter 274 - 273 - Birds of a Feather
- Chapter 275 - 274: If the Real Deal Could Be So Easily Replaced by a Knockoff, Then What’s the Point of Having the Real Deal?
- Chapter 276 275: Edward: You're Luring My Son into a Cult?
- Chapter 277 - 276: Four! And All From My House!
- Chapter 278 - 277: Guess Why the Acromantula Is So Obedient?
- Chapter 279 - 278: Does Anyone In This Family Actually Like Watching the Quidditch World Cup?
- Chapter 280 279: “Isn’t Anyone a Little Freaked Out by the Ministry?”
- Chapter 281 - 280 – What's This? Slytherin’s Locket? Gotta Take a Bite First
- Chapter 282 - 281: Heartbroken Oni-chan
- Chapter 283 282: Thanks, Voldemort, for the Construction Crew—
- Chapter 284 - 283: Talking to the Dead (Cohen's Kindness Version)
- Chapter 285 - 284: Attacking Muggles? How about a Big Job – Like Attacking the Minister for Magic?
- Chapter 286 - 285: The Silver Key, Your Master Wants to Cause Trouble Now, Surely You'll Join In, Right?
- Chapter 287 - 286: The Loyalty Charm? The Secret-Keeper is...
- Chapter 288 - 287: "Boss, Shall We Make Our Move Now?"
- Chapter 289 288: I Don’t Have Time for Nonsense
- Chapter 290 - 289: I Never Enjoyed Being an Evil God
- Chapter 291 290: Restoring Azkaban’s Glory, Our Duty Calls!
- Chapter 292 - 291: Crouch's Ambitions Are Plain for All to See
- Chapter 293 - 292: Mad-Eye’s Late-Night Invitation**
- Chapter 294 - 293: “The Honest, Kind, Friendly, and Never-Harmful Little Dementor”
- Chapter 295 - 294: If You Don't Even Dare to Get Detention, What Right Do You Have to Call Yourself a Gryffindor? (doge)
- Chapter 296 - 295: Little Basilisk: I thought it was a speed bump
- Chapter 297 296: This is Hard to Explain Because I'm a Dementor
- Chapter 298 297: Where on earth did this baseless competitiveness between schools come from?
- Chapter 299 298: You Can’t Blame Every Magical Creature’s Panic on Me…
- Chapter 300 - 299: A Girlfriend or Krum?
- Chapter 301 - 300: The Goblet of Fire
- Chapter 302 - 301: Whining Again? Want a Dementor’s Kiss with That?
- Chapter 303 - 302: The More Dramatic the Reaction, the More Uncertain the Heart
- Chapter 304 - 303 – Dumbledore’s Position
- Chapter 305 304: Isn't It Written There? Cohn Represents Azkaban
- Chapter 306 305: Fudge: How Am I Supposed to Play When Everyone's the Enemy?
- Chapter 307 306: Ron’s Little Mood
- Chapter 308 - 307: Dangerous Bloodline
- Chapter 309 - 308: Bottled Emotions and Mick's Help
- Chapter 310 309 – Edward Is Growing Wildly in a Carefree Direction
- Chapter 311 310: An Interview? Then You’ve Picked the Right Person
- Chapter 312 311: Are You Trying to Destroy the Triwizard Tournament?!
- Chapter 313 312: “I Don’t Want My Wand to Work for Just Anyone”
- Chapter 314 313: How Rumors Keep Getting More and More Absurd
- Chapter 315 - 314: What Do You Mean Herbert, Edward, and Rose Are All Coming to Watch the Match?!
- Chapter 316 - 315: The Flying Box Carrying the Chimaera Beast!
- Chapter 317 - 316 – Is Being Tsundere a Common Trait Among Friends?
- Chapter 318 - 317: The Egg-Stealing Plan
- Chapter 319 - 318 — A Father, a Father, a Mother, and a Very Jealous Reunion
- Chapter 320 - 319: A Movie Meant for Three
- Chapter 321 - 320: Just How Many Creatures Have You Two Been Hiding From Me?!
- Chapter 322 321 – Cohen’s Trunk
- Chapter 323 - 322 – What Kind of Look Was That at My Wife?!
- Chapter 324 - 323: The Final Whisper
- Chapter 325 - 324 – Pre-Tournament Preparations
- Chapter 326 - 325 – Some People, You Just Know Right Away You’ll Have to Kill
- Chapter 327 - 326: Damn It, My She-Dragon Can't Be a Lesbian!
- Chapter 328 - 327: "You Only Said the Champions Had to Face Dragons—You Never Mentioned the Consequences if They Disappeared!"
- Chapter 329 328 – The Disgusting Toad Woman
- Chapter 330 329 – Karkaroff’s Problem
- Chapter 331 - 330: What?! Your Mom?
- Chapter 332 - 331 – A Challenge for a Dance Partner? Well, There Are Plenty of Options
- Chapter 333 - 332 – Not Afraid of a Struggling Mate, Just Afraid He Drives a Land Rover
- Chapter 334 - 333: Cohen’s Dance Partner Selection Contest
- Chapter 335 - 334: Oh My God, Lord Cohen
- Chapter 336 335: Ten Years of Cold, Blood-Burning Boy-Mother
- Chapter 337 336 – All Poets in Disguise!
- Chapter 338 337: Sunshine Rainbow Little White Horse
- Chapter 339 338: The Stench of Love Is Everywhere
- Chapter 340 - 339: I Refuse This Marriage!
- Chapter 341 - 340: Life Is Just Slapping Yourself Over and Over Without Learning the Lesson
- Chapter 342 - 341: The Legend of the Quickest Crasher
- Chapter 343 - 342: This Is What Happens When You Get Too Immersed
- Chapter 344 - 343: The Bug-type Pokémon Master
- Chapter 345 344: Another Batch of Believers
- Chapter 346 345: Night Raid on the Skeeter House
- Chapter 347 346 – Infighting is Almost as Important as Mating to Humans
- Chapter 348 - 347 “Love’s Growing Pains”
- Chapter 349 348: I'm Here to End This Absurd Romance
- Chapter 350 - 349: Water Breathing III—Just for You
- Chapter 351 - 350 – Fate Loves to Deceive, So the Wise Always Sneer at It
- Chapter 352 - 351: Humanity Has Returned — Still Not Quite Human, But At Least It's Something
- Chapter 353 - 352 – Cohen’s Treasure
- Chapter 354 353: The Peculiar Giant Squid
- Chapter 355 - 354: Edward’s Bizarre Adventure (Underwater Edition)
- Chapter 356 - 355: “The Escaped Sea Serpent Grandpa from Greece”
- Chapter 357 - 356: Some Things Are Only Missed When They're Gone
- Chapter 358 - 357: Not Even the Dementors from Azkaban Came to Cheer for Me (Annoyed)
- Chapter 359 358: Relatives in Name Only
- Chapter 360 - 359 – Sneaking Into Poseidon's Temple to Steal His Offerings Like a Maniac
- Chapter 361 360: Strange Students
- Chapter 362 361: Herbert's Second Trial
- Chapter 363 - 362: “Scoundrel Cohen Actually Did That to a Girl?!”
- Chapter 364 - 363
- Chapter 365 - 364 – Greek Mashup
- Chapter 366 - 365: Not a Revenge Mission
- Chapter 367 366: “The Top Incubus of the Magical Creatures World”
- Chapter 368 367: Breaking Tiles at Three, Calling Strangers "Mum" at Five
- Chapter 369 - 368: The Eve of the Final Task
- Chapter 370 - 369: Late Arrivals
- Chapter 371 - 370: A Prophecy Fulfilled Ahead of Time
- Chapter 372 - 371: Cohen’s Brilliant Little Lecture
- Chapter 373 - 372: The Third Task
- Chapter 374 - 373 – Even Dementors Would Be Confounded
- Chapter 375 - 374 – That Day’s Cohen, Cohen Wakes Up
- Chapter 376 - 375: The Trophy, the Trap, and the Mysteriously Hopeful Silver Key
- Chapter 377 - 376 – Instantly Devoured!
- Chapter 378 - 377: Dumbledore's Scapegoat-in-Training
- Chapter 379 - 378: A Glance at Newt
- Chapter 380 - 379: "So Excited to Play House I Started Humming"
- Chapter 381 - 380: You Go to France to Woo Women, I Go to Greece for Dirty Work—We’ve All Got Bright Futures
- Chapter 382 - 381: The End of a Clichéd Love Triangle
- Chapter 383 - 382: Strength-Obsessed Cohen
- Chapter 384 383: The Bitterness of Life
- Chapter 385 384: The Weasley Twins’ New Investor
- Chapter 386 385: Super Dementor Doesn’t Believe in Airplanes
- Chapter 387 386: A Depressed Snake Just Needs a Few Cups
- Chapter 388 387: Can You Call My Name When You Bite Someone? I Want to Feel Involved
- Chapter 389 389: Wait, You Mean This Horned Water Snake?
- Chapter 390 390: Old Geezer, Your Brain’s the Slowest!
- Chapter 391: The Wizard Who First Caught Grindelwald
- Chapter 392: Twice, Huh, Twice
- Chapter 393 392: Twice, Huh, Twice
- Chapter 394 393: The Guard Who Only Stops Wizards
- Chapter 395 394: "So You're the Kid Spreading Rumors I Died, Huh?"
- Chapter 396 395: “Do You Have a Grandkid Like This?”
- Chapter 397 396: Take It Up with My Giant Beast
- Chapter 398 397: “A Bit Gruesome, But Ultimately a Just Revenge”
- Chapter 399 398: The Griffin Couldn’t Hold Back
- Chapter 400 399: “Doro’s Tragic Little Story Time”
- Chapter 401 400: "Dementors Taking Over the Dementor Nest"
- Chapter 402 401: Retired Hero Harassed by a Fifteen-Year-Old Bully
- Chapter 403 402: Who’s Been Left Out by the Order of the Phoenix? It’s So Hard to Guess
- Chapter 404 - 403: Are You That Skilled at Handling Corpses Too?
- Chapter 405 - 404: The Order of the Phoenix
- Chapter 406 405: Not Found
- Chapter 407 406: The Golden Ram
- Chapter 408 407: Felix Felicis
- Chapter 409 - 408: Accidentally Blowing Up the Ministry During a War Is Pretty Normal
- Chapter 410 - 409: Fudge Is Too Far Gone in His Own Delusions
- Chapter 411 - 410: The Boy Who Lived
- Chapter 412 - 411: 'If I don't help her, who will?'"
- Chapter 413 412
- Chapter 414 413: The Long-Awaited Badge
- Chapter 415 414 Back to Hogwarts (Non-Horror Version)
- Chapter 416 415: "Absent? The Wizarding World Doesn't Have Surveillance, You Know."
- Chapter 417 - 416: Little Phrick
- Chapter 418 - 417: The Pink Toady Woman
- Chapter 419 - 418: Strictly Speaking, a Student of Your Calibre...
- Chapter 420 - 419: Return to School (Horror Edition)
- Chapter 421 - 420: Mad Dog
- Chapter 422 - 421: Surely Mentally Unstable People Can't Be Professors, Can They?
- Chapter 423 - 422: In Cohen's Name
- Chapter 424 423: It's Perfectly Normal to Develop a New Pen Pal
- Chapter 425 424: Helping You Smash Their Wedding Car Axle
- Chapter 426 - 425: The Urgent Business of Online Socializing: A Five-Character God-Tier Nickname
- Chapter 427 - 426: The Bombshell News Brought by Cohen
- Chapter 428 427: I Don't Feel Like This Task Is Very Evil"
- Chapter 429 428: Passing on the Magic
- Chapter 430 429: The Little Toad Thinks She's Safe With a Witness?
- Chapter 431 - 430: You Just Said... You Had Something on Mr. Crouch, Didn't You?
- Chapter 432 431: "You can't do this to me!"
- Chapter 433 - 432: Senior Undersecretary Suspected of Being a Hybrid Creature Disguised as a Wizard and Attacking Students
- Chapter 434 - 433: The Unspeakables
- Chapter 435 434: Reporters at the Public Lesson
- Chapter 436 435: The Monster in the Classroom
- Chapter 437 - 436: Why'd You Have to Go and Provoke Him?
- Chapter 438 - 437: Umbridge's Bizarre Pigpen Adventure
- Chapter 439 - 438: This Thing Requires Too Much Talent for Humans, but It's Just Right for a Dementor
- Chapter 440 - 439: This Means I Don't Have to Do Defence Against the Dark Arts Homework All Term!
- Chapter 441 - 440: "Oh, little Cohen, your dad loves you very much"
- Chapter 442 - 441: "You Don't Have to Call Me Mr. Norton, Professor"
- Chapter 443 - 442: Innocent Cohen (Internet Dating Version)
- Chapter 444 - 443: I Know the Exams are Getting Closer, But Professor Norton's Club is Too Fun!
- Chapter 445 - 444: This Title Needs to Have a Very Cruel Plot
- Chapter 446 - 445: "You Should Eat When You Can"
- Chapter 447 - 446: Are You Going to Learn the Patronus Charm Right in Front of a Dementor's Dad?
- Chapter 448 - 447: The Patronus Charm
- Chapter 449 - 448: Your Mouths Kiss Others, It's Absolutely Terrifying!
- Chapter 450 449: Moral Blackmail? Dementors Have No Morals
- Chapter 451 450: No One Can Refuse an Otherworldly Adventure
- Chapter 452 451: The Alchemist Can Create Anything but Gold - 2.0
- Chapter 453 452: A Big Commotion at Christmas
- Chapter 454 - 453: "I'll Bite You All to Death, AHHH!"
- Chapter 455 - 454: So Say Geronimo
- Chapter 456 - 455: To Tame Someone, You Must Risk Getting Hurt
- Chapter 457 456: Disloyalty to the Silver Key is the Greatest Loyalty to Cohen (Apparently)
- Chapter 458 457: "Bugger, a Poof"
- Chapter 459 - 458: "You're awake! Congratulations, you're now a lovely young lady."
- Chapter 460 - 459: The Revealing of Cohen's True Self
- Chapter 461 460: Who Let That Dementor into Hogwarts?
- Chapter 462 461: Dementors are Indeed Very Dangerous
- Chapter 463 - 462: But the Minister's Son is Different
- Chapter 464 - 463: Which of My Mates Sent Me a Brain?
- Chapter 465 - 464: "The Brain-Saving Initiative"
- Chapter 466 - 465: If I Don't Like the Side, I'll Just Switch
- Chapter 467 - 466: Who Turned Voldemort into This?!
- Chapter 468 - 467: We Must Stop Voldemort from Taking a Bath at the Ministry of Magic (Probably)
- Chapter 469 - 468: "My Terrorist Activities and My Minister Father"
- Chapter 470 469: Beyond the Veil
- Chapter 471 470: A Greater Darkness