novelraw Chapter 248: The Kind Of Love You Will Never Lose
Chapter 248: The Kind Of Love You Will Never Lose
"He’s definitely in love with you!"
Natalia looked up at Celine with astonishment in her eyes.
"Don’t tell me you’ve not guessed it already before this?" Celine asked, studying her expression.
Natalia slowly lowered her head; there was an unfathomable expression in her eyes.
"Or could that be exactly what you’re afraid of?" Celine had already deciphered her thoughts from the look in her eyes. "You’re afraid of getting hurt again." This time, there was no suspicion in her voice but absolute certainty.
Natalia wrung her fingers together. "It’s a lot more complicated than that, Celine."
"There’s nothing complicated about this but what your heart is leading you to believe. You find yourself in love with someone, but your heart is too scared of getting hurt to accept it, especially when you realized that person was someone you once cared for but left you."
A pained look flashed in her eyes, but she quickly got up on her feet. "Celine, I actually forgot, I have something important to do today. I’ll come back to see you some other time."
Celine could see her curling back into her shell again, the same shell where she hid her pain, never letting others see it.
Celine didn’t let her leave and instead quickly grabbed her hand to stop her. "Natalia, how long are you going to run away from it? If you love someone, you should be brave enough to face it."
Natalia sighed. "You won’t understand, Celine."
"What, just what won’t I understand?"
"That I’m not just scared, I’m terrified!" Natalia blurted. She seemed to realize she’d spoken out her internal feelings before taking a deep breath; however, she’d already spoken those words out, so she continued, "I’m terrified and certain as well, he will leave me again, just like everybody else."
Celine got up as well, pulling Natalia with her to take a stroll along the spacious garden. She knew it was a deep, innate fear in Natalia, and it was something she’d need to talk about to relieve her of the burden, so she decided to take it slow and unravel the pain in her friend’s heart.
---
"Didn’t think you’d still be in town by the time we’d get back. Guess you found something interesting enough to still keep you here," Tristan remarked as they both stood by a tree in the garden.
Christopher didn’t reply to him, a silent confirmation of his deduction.
Tristan chuckled slightly. "And I never thought that interesting thing would be something I arranged. You should thank me. If I didn’t ask the boys to push you to dance at the wedding, you’d never have met her."
"You have nothing to do with me meeting Natalia, I’ve met her even before you knew," Christopher finally spoke.
"Have you?" Tristan asked, slightly turning around to gaze in the direction his wife was sitting along with her friend, only to see them walking away, seeming to be taking a casual stroll. Tristan stared at his wife from the distance, a smile curving his lips before he returned his attention to his cousin.
"I guess the story is a bit more complicated than I thought it was then," Tristan concluded.
"What do you do to apologize for a mistake you’ve made in the past and to show your sincerity to a woman?" Christopher suddenly asked after a few moments of silence.
Tristan laughed. "You’re asking for love advice from me?"
Christopher gave him a look that seemed to say he was obviously asking since he’d said the words out.
"Well, I’m afraid you’re asking the wrong person. I don’t know all women, I only know my wife. If you ask me about her, it would be the easiest question, but I can’t tell you about other women because I have no idea about them," Tristan shrugged in a matter-of-fact way. He had also just recently been learning a lot about love, but the only woman he knew and loved was one and no other. He knew best how to express himself to her and depict his emotions; however, he had no idea about anything related to any other woman.
"But I think I know someone who can help you with that," Tristan finally said.
Christopher looked at him questioningly.
---
"It has been years now, Nat, you should get over what happened in the past," Celine said comfortingly.
"Yes, it has been years, but not once has she ever thought of looking for me, not once had she ever thought to worry about me. Tell me, how can I easily forget that?"
Celine stopped walking, pulling Natalia to a stop as well. She turned her to look at her. "She has absolutely no idea, Nat. She has no idea how awesome you’ve turned out to be. You’ve grown to become a woman anyone would be proud of, anyone would want to keep. Natalia, you are a wonderful person, and the fact that she never returned means she has absolutely no idea what she’s lost."
Tears she always suppressed streamed down Natalia’s face.
"But... it hurts. My own mother abandoned me for fourteen years of my life. She left and never returned, not once. I had no one but my dad and grandparents, and in the end, death took them away from me as well. All these years, I’ve been looking for her, I’ve been searching everywhere, but I can’t even find her. I just want to ask her why—why she left me?" Natalia couldn’t hold back the tears nor the sobs.
Celine couldn’t help but feel her heart break seeing her friend like that. Natalia had always shown a strong and confident persona, like a person who had no pain or worries at all; however, deep inside there was a lot she was keeping stuffed up in her heart.
Years ago, Natalia’s mother had left, leaving her husband and daughter alone, and she had never returned since.
Celine knew Natalia had always felt this internal complex of not being wanted, and whenever she’d lose people in her life, she always went back to that feeling.
The only surviving family member she had was her aunt, who was her father’s younger sister. However, the woman lived far away in another city with her own family. Natalia had left her aunt’s care to build a life for herself as an adult.
When Peter had dumped her, Natalia had returned to that gnawing feeling of being unwanted again. For a moment—just for a moment—when Christopher had come into her life, with his gently sweet words and caring behavior, he’d made her feel wanted not just as a woman but as a person as well. However, the moment she recalled the fact that he’d left her once before, she couldn’t help but have that feeling resurface again.
What if he’d leave her again?
No one she ever truly loved had remained in her life; she always ended up losing them.
"Natalia, you are one of the best people I know, and anyone who doesn’t have someone like you in their life has really lost a whole lot. You’re a great friend, companion, and fun as hell, and I love you to bits for that."
"I know you do, I love you too, Celine. You’re one of the only people I know I’ll never lose," Natalia said, wiping her tears. Celine pulled her into a hug comfortingly.
After some time, Natalia had finally gotten a grasp of her emotions. She pulled away from the hug.
"But Nat, one had you and let you go only to return three years after claiming to still want you. Another loves you deeply—he hadn’t erased your name from his heart even after eight years, and never once did he replace you with another. Don’t you think that’s the kind of true love you’ll never lose?"
Hearing Celine’s words, Natalia looked deeply in thought.