Yellow Skinned Taoist Master

Chapter 144: Xuzhou City Is Full of Weirdos

Once inside Xuzhou City.

Chen Huangpi wandered down the street with a bewildered expression, jingling ten copper coins in his hand.

The people out here were so strange.

In the blink of an eye, he'd already made seven coins.

"Huang Er, was that guard trying to butter me up?"

"No. He thinks there's something wrong with your head and wants you to see a doctor."

"Nonsense."

Chen Huangpi said, displeased. "I've mastered pharmacology and read every medical text. As they say — a doctor cannot heal himself. I'm a healer. A doctor is also a healer. And besides, if there were something wrong with me, wouldn't I be the first to know?"

"Fox Mountain God, you tell him."

The Fox Mountain God — being led by the neck on a hemp rope by Chen Huangpi — rolled its eyes."If I could talk sense into you, would I be here on a leash?"

"Foxes are dogs. If I didn't do this, the guard wouldn't let me bring you in."

Chen Huangpi said seriously. "I thought the guard was odd, but he had a point. Dogs need leashes. Otherwise, if you bite someone or scare someone, that would be bad."

"But I'm a fox — no, I'm a god."

The Fox Mountain God said helplessly. "I'd have to be out of my mind to bite or scare people. Is that really something a mountain god would do?"

Just then, a man carrying a little girl walked over.

The girl spotted the Fox Mountain God and squealed excitedly, "Daddy, that dog is so ugly!"

"Insolent!"

The Fox Mountain God glared and spoke in human words. "You impertinent child — you dare insult this god? Are you looking to die?"

The little girl burst into tears.

Her father's face drained of color. He dropped to his knees, about to beg the deity for mercy.

But in the space of a blink.

The little Daoist with the leash — and the deity itself — had vanished without a trace.

...

Deeper in the city.

Chen Huangpi walked with a dark expression, dragging along a battered and bruised Fox Mountain God.

The Brass Oil Lamp said with glee, "Little fox, keep your words to yourself in the future. This is the outside world. If you start talking in human language, the commoners will obviously be terrified."

The Fox Mountain God protested, "The children of Xuzhou City have no manners!"

Chen Huangpi ignored the Fox Mountain God.

He'd arrived at a bustling street.

Vendors lined both sides, hawking their wares.

People streamed past in an endless flow. It was lively beyond anything he'd seen.

Chen Huangpi said excitedly, "I've never seen this many people in my entire life. Huang Er — what's that little drum? It makes a thump-thump sound when you shake it. I want one."

The Brass Oil Lamp said with dark suspicion. "It might be some kind of artifact. One look and it seized your attention — truly a sinister technique."

Chen Huangpi had never left the Hundred Thousand Mountains in his life.

The Brass Oil Lamp, likewise.

So the two of them had arrived in Xuzhou City as complete ignoramuses.

Fortunately, the Fox Mountain God — though it too had never left the mountains — had Granny Tang as a reference.

Granny Tang had been to the outside before.

So the Fox Mountain God had at least a smattering of common sense.

"It's called a rattle drum."

The Fox Mountain God explained. "It's not an artifact. Just a toy ordinary people give to children."

"I see."

Chen Huangpi rushed excitedly up to the vendor selling the rattle drums.

The vendor blinked. "What can I do for you, young master?"

Chen Huangpi said, "Aren't these rattle drums for children?"

The vendor said, "They are. Do you have a younger brother or sister at home?"

"I'm an orphan."

Chen Huangpi shook his head. "I don't have siblings. But I'm also a child. Can't I play with one?"

"Well..."

The vendor said awkwardly. "Of course you can. One copper coin."

Chen Huangpi said in shock. "What? It costs money?"

"You jest, young master."

The vendor sighed. "If I didn't charge, how would I put food on the table?"

Chen Huangpi was confused. "But children can't carry loads or lift heavy things. They have no way to earn money. How could they afford your rattle drums? Do they all have a house of gold like me?"

"Ah — a young lord, I see."

The vendor's face changed at once. He immediately pasted on a fawning smile and pressed a rattle drum into Chen Huangpi's hands.

"What are you doing?"

"A gift for the young lord. A gift."

The vendor said nervously. "The young lord must have been raised with a silver spoon. First time outside, no doubt — that's why he's never seen a rattle drum. It was my error. My humble wares have offended the young lord's eyes. I'll be on my way."

The vendor bowed and began backing away, rear-end first.

Chen Huangpi saw this and chased after him.

He said angrily, "I'm no young lord. I wasn't raised with a silver spoon. And are you looking down on me?"

"You want to give away a one-coin rattle drum?"

"You think I can't afford it?!"

Chen Huangpi was livid. He blocked the vendor's path.

Then he brandished his ten copper coins.

"See? I've got plenty of money! I could buy ten rattle drums!"

"Would you like to buy ten, then?"

"No. I'm an orphan. What would I do with ten?"

With that, Chen Huangpi slapped one copper coin down, then strolled off merrily, shaking his new rattle drum.

The vendor stood rooted to the spot, one coin in hand, utterly dumbfounded.

"Whose dimwitted son is this?"

...

Half an hour later.

Thump, thump, thump.

Chen Huangpi shook his rattle drum in one hand and held a candied hawthorn stick in the other. His robes were stuffed with various trinkets.

"Master said the outside world was dangerous."

"Full of bad people." "But I've been walking around this whole time without seeing a single bad person. Plenty of weirdos, though."

Chen Huangpi mumbled through a mouthful of hawthorn. "And just now — that candied hawthorn uncle. I stood in front of his stall staring for ages, and he just gave me a stick. When I tried to leave, he even tried to give me money to stay longer."

"That's because you were standing in front of his stall drooling with your eyes glued to the goods. Every kid who came by wanted one, so their parents had to buy. His business was booming — of course he didn't want you to leave."

"I know. That's why I only left after he gave me the money."

Chen Huangpi jingled several coins.

The Brass Oil Lamp said admiringly, "Chen Huangpi, you really know how to make money. But shouldn't we get down to business? You haven't bought the spices. Haven't asked around about the Vast-Sight God, either. All you've done is wander around, and it's already noon."

"Time passes that quickly?"

Chen Huangpi cautiously glanced up at the sun.

It was directly overhead now.

Blazing and bright.

But he knew the sun was actually an eye. Fortunately, he hadn't channeled his vital energy into his own eyes, and no evil eyes had appeared on his body — so he wouldn't be blinded.

It was already midday. Night would come soon enough.

Dazzled though he was by Xuzhou City's splendor, he had no desire to spend the night here.

Because the Hundred Thousand Mountains was home.

There were no evil spirits in the city to keep him busy, and if he stayed out overnight, First Master would definitely be upset.

Thinking this.

He hurriedly asked for directions to a spice shop.

But when he arrived.

And looked at the prices listed on little tags beside each spice, Chen Huangpi was floored.

Not a single spice was cheap.

Every last one cost hundreds of coins per pound.

And pepper? Ten silver taels per pound — and they didn't even have it in stock.

"Kid, are you buying or not?"

"Absolutely not."

Chen Huangpi stormed out of the shop.

"Con shop! Con shop!"

"Every spice shop in Xuzhou City is a con shop!"

"The Hundred Thousand Mountains are covered with spices. They think I don't know the market, so they're trying to swindle me. Rob me blind. They've gone too far."

Chen Huangpi was furious.

He'd been gathering herbs in the mountains his entire life. True, he didn't always find spices.

But over time, there was nothing he couldn't find.

Spices were like weeds — they grew all over the Hundred Thousand Mountains.

Yet here in Xuzhou City, they cost a fortune.

The Fox Mountain God said flatly, "Is it possible that spices just cost this much in the outside world?"

"Even so, I'm not buying."

Chen Huangpi snorted. "I'll just grab some spices on my way home. Master will assume I bought them, and my money stays in my pocket. I'll spend it however I please."

Just then.

Chen Huangpi saw a procession of cultivators approaching.

They wore brocade robes, each at the Golden Core level.

Behind them trailed a succession of gold-and-jade-laden, extravagantly adorned carriages pulled by exotic beasts.

The carriages flew banners.

Each banner bore the character "Cao."

Wherever the procession went, the common folk bowed their heads and scrambled out of the way — cowering like baby chicks before a hawk.

Chen Huangpi was puzzled.

Granny Tang was also a Golden Core cultivator, and she and the remnants of Huanghu Village were like family.

Why did the people of the outside world treat cultivators as though they were fire and flood?

In truth, if Chen Huangpi had paid closer attention to Song Qiuyue and other cultivators' memories — instead of only focusing on cultivation techniques — he would have known that cultivators in the outside world treated mortals as grass. The two weren't even considered the same species.

A man like the "lackey" Grand Tutor, who treated both the common people and himself as beasts of burden, was the rarest of rarities.

"Kid — what are you standing there for?"

A cultivator barked. "Move it."

Chen Huangpi said, bewildered. "The road is wide enough. Why would I move?"

Xuzhou City's roads were indeed wide — ten carriages could ride abreast.

This cultivator procession and Chen Huangpi weren't even on the same side of the road.

He wasn't in the way. Why should he move?

The cultivator said coldly. "This is the Human Road. On ordinary days, you lot may use it. But when we cultivators pass through, you commoners are to step aside — to the Horse Road or the Ox Road. Now get lost, unless you want to lose your life."

Chen Huangpi looked left and right in confusion.

He saw no Horse Road or Ox Road.

The cultivator walked up to Chen Huangpi and pointed at the muddy, narrow paths on either edge of the street. "See those? That's where you belong. The left one is the Horse Road. The right one is the Ox Road. Pick one."

Chen Huangpi said, "But those paths are filthy and muddy. The Human Road is straight, firm, and paved with flagstones. If I take the Ox Road or the Horse Road and get my clothes dirty, what then?"

The cultivator said, "The Human Road is for humans. Are you human?"

Chen Huangpi thought about it, then shook his head. "Probably not."

"A halfwit."

The cultivator laughed in spite of himself. He'd expected the fool to claim he was human — so he could tell him, right before crushing the life out of him, that only cultivators counted as human.

But the halfwit had said he probably wasn't.

Whatever. Human or not — kill him and be done with it.

Chen Huangpi frowned. "You want to kill me?"

The cultivator said, startled. "Even a halfwit can tell?"

Chen Huangpi said, "I may not be human, but I'm no halfwit either. I'm a cultivator. A better one than any of you."

The cultivator's expression instantly became very interesting.

Only now did he realize that the self-proclaimed cultivator before him had a level of cultivation he couldn't perceive at all.

If the boy wasn't lying.

Then his cultivation was unquestionably above his own.

"Mis—"

The word "mistake" hadn't even left his lips before Chen Huangpi seized his throat. Then, with a gentle twist, he snapped his neck.

The rest of the cultivator procession exploded into high alert.

Chen Huangpi smiled at them. "At first, I thought everyone in Xuzhou City was a weirdo. But now I see there are plenty of normal people too."