Yellow Skinned Taoist Master

Chapter 141: Hello, Daoist Chen

Within the Old Temple, the crimson moon hung high.

This place was swarming with evil spirits — it was the missing half of the original Pure Immortal Temple.

And in the deepest depths of the Old Temple.

The white-robed old Daoist sat cross-legged in the great hall, belly bulging.

At that moment, a voice called out from inside his stomach.

"Second Master, open your mouth! I need to come out!"

The white-robed old Daoist turned a deaf ear. His eyes were shut tight.

He even made a deliberate snoring sound.

"Second Master..."

Chen Huangpi said helplessly. "You never snore in your sleep. I know you're faking it. Stop making a scene and let me out. It's stuffy in here — I'm getting dizzy.""This poor Daoist cannot let you out."

"Why not?"

"Because this poor Daoist is not your most beloved Second Master."

The white-robed old Daoist spoke in a high-pitched, delicate voice. "Huangpi, don't worry. Your Second Master loves you so dearly. Once he wakes up, he will most certainly let you out."

"Then when will my Second Master wake up?"

"When the rooster finishes the rice, the dog finishes the noodles, and the fire burns through the lock — then your most beloved Second Master shall awaken."

Hearing this.

Chen Huangpi said wearily. "Second Master, the Old Temple only has evil spirits. Where would there be roosters or dogs or rice or noodles? You're lying to me again."

"Your mas— ahem."

The white-robed old Daoist quickly corrected himself. "This poor Daoist would never lie to you. If this poor Daoist says they exist, then they certainly exist."

Even as he spoke, the white-robed old Daoist swept his hand through the air.

Instantly, a mountain of rice, a mountain of noodles, a lock, a rooster, a dog, and a tongue of flame all materialized in the great hall.

The rooster pecked at the rice — for every grain it ate, another appeared.

The dog gobbled the noodles — for every mouthful it swallowed, another emerged.

And the flame licked at the lock.

But the lock was forged from the exact same material as the Brass Oil Lamp — unmistakably Shoushan Copper.

Not even true fire or immortal fire could melt Shoushan Copper.

A mere mundane flame had no hope of burning through it.

Chen Huangpi sighed. "Second Master, you say you're not lying to me, but I can't even see anything in here. How would I know if you're telling the truth?"

"This poor Daoist is not your Second Master!"

"Very well, Daoist Chen."

Chen Huangpi said. "You must be well acquainted with my Second Master?"

"Not at all. Not at all."

The white-robed old Daoist said vaguely. "This poor Daoist and your Second Master are merely strangers who happen to look alike, have the same name, and share the same temperament."

"Oh, I see..."

Chen Huangpi said offhandedly. "Then, Daoist Chen, you probably don't know that I actually have three masters?"

"You have three?"

"I do. You've probably never met my First Master."

Chen Huangpi said casually. "But coincidentally, his surname is also Chen — same as yours, Daoist Chen."

"What an extraordinary coincidence!"

The white-robed old Daoist feigned surprise. "He must be quite a terrible person?"

"Yes. My First Master is terrible."

Chen Huangpi said. "He's been trying to refine me into a pill. He's a compulsive liar. He tricks me every single day."

"Indeed! Indeed!"

The white-robed old Daoist said with deep satisfaction. "Huangpi, you've finally realized the truth. In all the world, only your Second Master truly has your best interests at heart. He is the kindest, the most compassionate. He would never lie to you, and he would never refine you into a pill."

"Come — tell me more about your Second Master. This poor Daoist can hardly wait."

"No, no — I have to talk about my Third Master first."

"Preposterous! Preposterous!"

The white-robed old Daoist shot to his feet and hollered. "As the Dao begets One, One begets Two, and Two begets Three — after finishing with the First, you should naturally move to this poor Daoist! On what grounds do you skip over this poor Daoist to talk about the Third?!"

"Well, Daoist Chen, you see..."

Chen Huangpi explained. "My Third Master, ever since leaving the Old Temple, strung me up and beat me. Beat me until my flesh split open. Beat me until I sobbed. He really is too cruel."

At an emotional peak, Chen Huangpi's voice trembled with sobs.

Every word was like a tear.

"AHHH!!!"

The white-robed old Daoist clenched both fists and pummeled his own thighs in a frenzy. "This poor Daoist is outraged! Outraged!"

"This poor Daoist couldn't bear to lay a finger on you — how dare he treat you like that?!"

"And that's not even everything..."

"What?! What else has he done? Huangpi, tell your master — quickly."

"Daoist Chen, what did you just say?"

"This poor Daoist misspoke. Tell Daoist Chen everything. Daoist Chen will tell your Second Master, and your Second Master will stand up for you and deal with the Third."

"But..."

Chen Huangpi said hesitantly. "On second thought, forget it. If my Second Master found out, he'd be heartbroken. He loves me the most. He's the kindest. I don't want him to be sad."

At these words.

The white-robed old Daoist couldn't sit still any longer.

True — he was, without question, the most loving, the kindest master Huangpi had.

But who didn't know that?

The important thing was that Huangpi must not suffer any grievance.

Suffering grievances would make his flesh lose its flavor.

Once the flavor was off, digestion became difficult.

Thinking this, the white-robed old Daoist slapped his thigh in sudden realization. "No wonder this poor Daoist still hasn't finished digesting Huangpi — it's because the Third has been ruining everything!"

"Huangpi, whatever grievances you have, speak them freely!"

"Daoist Chen will stand up for you!"

"Waaah — Daoist Chen, you're so kind."

Chen Huangpi sobbed. "My Third Master is incredibly powerful and extremely vindictive. He says now that he's out of the Old Temple, he never plans to go back. And he wants to be the eldest — so from now on he'll be First Master, First Master becomes Second Master, and Second Master becomes..."

"Becomes Third Master?!!!"

"No — Second Master is gone." Chen Huangpi poured out his woes. "He wants to expel Second Master entirely. Because Second Master tried to eat me. I thought Third Master was lying, so I came here to confide in Second Master — but I did end up getting eaten."

"No! Your master did not eat you!"

With that, the white-robed old Daoist opened his cavernous maw and — with a tremendous retch — disgorged Chen Huangpi.

"Goodness! Huangpi!"

The white-robed old Daoist exclaimed in astonishment. "How did you end up in your master's stomach?"

Chen Huangpi said with a dark expression. "Second Master, what do you think?"

"Your master has no idea."

The white-robed old Daoist hung his head. "Perhaps you crawled in while your master was sleeping? Your master's stomach is very warm. You're sensitive to cold. Yes — that must be it."

"Oh, so that's what happened."

Chen Huangpi pouted. "By the way, Second Master — where did Daoist Chen go?"

"He went home."

The white-robed old Daoist lied smoothly. "He lives far away and had to leave early. He also said you should be a good, filial disciple to your master, and absolutely not let the Third expel your master. That would be bad."

"Don't worry, Second Master."

Chen Huangpi nodded. "I won't let Third Master get his way. Only, Second Master — could you please spit Huang Er out before you keep talking? I can see its head stuck between your teeth."

"Is that so!"

The white-robed old Daoist was startled. He hurriedly shoved his hand into his mouth and pried the wedged Brass Oil Lamp from between his teeth.

"Huang Er, you were sleepwalking too, weren't you?"

"Yes!"

The Brass Oil Lamp caught the look of menace in the white-robed old Daoist's eyes. As if it would dare say otherwise...

Chen Huangpi took the Brass Oil Lamp back.

Then, at last, he had the presence of mind to survey the great hall.

He saw the mountain of rice, the mountain of noodles, the rooster, the dog, the fire, and the lock...

The white-robed old Daoist hastily waved his hand, erasing every last trace.

Then, eyes darting evasively, he said, "That was all Daoist Chen's doing. Not your master's."

"Daoist Chen is also very wicked. Only your master is good."

Chen Huangpi said nothing.

Because the more he looked at this hall, the more familiar it seemed.

"Second Master, why is this place identical to our great hall outside?"

The Old Temple was the vanished portion of the Pure Immortal Temple.

And this great hall was identical to the one outside — save for its size. Everything else was an exact match.

Even the meditation cushions on the floor were the same.

"What do you mean, identical?"

The white-robed old Daoist pointed at the wall facing the front of the hall. "Isn't that different?"

Three portrait frames hung on the wall.

But all three were blank.

There were no paintings of the purple-robed First Master, the white-robed Second Master, or the cyan-robed Third Master.

Chen Huangpi frowned. "But everything else is the same."

He walked toward the far wall at the back of the hall.

"Look, Second Master."

Chen Huangpi pointed at the wall. "There are marks here. The Flying Immortal Painting used to hang right in this spot. This is exactly like the outside."

"Not the same. Completely different."

The white-robed old Daoist said with his eyes shut. "You've got cataracts. Your eyes aren't as good as they used to be, so you're seeing things. But your master's eyes are fine. And your master says they're different."

"Second Master, you're lying again."

"Your master would never lie to you."

"Fine. I brought you something delicious. After you eat, will you tell me what's going on with this hall?"

"Oh, Huangpi! What's all this talk about food?"

The white-robed old Daoist opened his eyes, his face full of reproach. "Your master is your real, birth-given master. Even if you didn't bring food, would your master really withhold anything from you?"

"Now hurry up and bring the food out. Your master is starving."

"Yes, Second Master."

Chen Huangpi rolled his eyes, then sent a thought into the Soul-Hooking Manual.

A chill emanated from the booklet, and Mang Shan Jun was ejected.

Its eyes blazed with venom, and it was about to launch into its customary tirade at Chen Huangpi.

But before it could get a word out.

It saw an aged, gaunt face growing rapidly larger — jaws yawning wide.

"Blegh. Tastes awful. Like a bald monk."

The white-robed old Daoist rubbed his belly and muttered, "Your master despises bald monks. They have no shame. They dare demand Huangpi from this poor Daoist. They even wanted to make Huangpi a Buddha. All monks deserve death!"

"A Buddha?"

Chen Huangpi said in surprise. "Second Master, are you talking about the evil Buddha?"

The Brass Oil Lamp had once told him that after the Heaven and Earth Mutation, the evil Buddha had come to the Pure Immortal Temple demanding something from Master. It had been cut down by the sword, and its head was hung on the mountain gate.

Later, inside the Old Temple, he'd encountered the evil Buddha's severed head again.

It had still tried to convert him — to make him take the tonsure.

Meanwhile, A Gui and Huang Er had been unaffected.

So the Buddha had been after him from the very beginning.

The white-robed old Daoist said irritably. "Not just that one. There were others. Your master has slaughtered wave after wave of them. Those monks are like weeds — just looking at them is sickening."

"Then why did you give me that evil Buddha's relic, Second Master?"

Chen Huangpi produced the evil Buddha relic.

The last time the three Masters had ground the evil Buddha to ash.

Second Master had tossed the relic to him.

"Not telling you."

The white-robed old Daoist whispered under his breath. "This poor Daoist certainly won't tell Huangpi that I tampered with the relic so it could be used to backstab those monks later. Heh heh heh — this poor Daoist is the wickedest of all."

"Huangpi, what are you staring at your master for?"

"Your master won't tell you!"

Chen Huangpi rolled his eyes. "Very well, Second Master. I don't know a thing. Now — what's the story with this great hall?"