Wingless and Beautiful

Chapter Twenty-Two

The next day, I felt more conscious when I walked the halls. When my normal routine included dodging legs that were meant to send me flying face first on the floor and ignoring the snide remarks and insults thrown my way, today my mind was actually on something else. I was on the lookout for Hunter.

I didn’t see him all morning. We didn’t share any class. And I didn’t know whether I should be thankful or sad about that. Lunchtime, I was lining up alone to get food in the cafeteria. Denise and Chaise weren’t there yet.

I noticed that Queen Chelsea and Witless Candy were in the line in front of me.

“I don’t really understand why Chaise is with her!” Chelsea said.

“Come on! Is he blind? She’s a monster!” Candy agreed.

I didn’t have to guess. The ‘her’ and the ‘she’ in those statements, actually referred to ‘me’. I wonder if they realized I was just behind them. Maybe they knew, but they just didn’t care.

I took a couple of steps back to increase the distance between us. I didn’t really want to hear what they were saying about me. I was about to eat my lunch and I was a bit hungry. I didn’t want to lose my appetite.

When I took another step back, I bumped into something hard and solid behind me. I spun around and found Hunter staring down at me with a frown on his face. He looked like he found it literally annoying to have a little bit of physical contact with me.

“Are you going to collide with me every single day throughout the entire school year?” he asked with a bored expression on his face. “Let me know the program, so I’ll be prepared.”

“I’m… I’m sorry,” I said in a weak voice.

He turned away from me and scooped himself some mashed potato. I was frozen in my place, unable to make myself move. I just stood there staring at him with a dazed expression on my face. When he turned back to me, he saw that I hadn’t budged. He raised a brow and then as if realizing I wasn’t going to move soon, he moved past me and never looked back.

I stared at the food in front of me, not really finding anything interesting to eat now. I had completely lost my appetite.

“Hey, dude,” a guy beside me said. “You’re holding up the line.”

I apologized and took a carton of milk from my tray then I paid for it at the cashier. I walked to our usual table. I saw Hunter sitting in the middle of the cafeteria, where all the popular boys and girls sat. My heart sank. I wondered if he was really like this before he lost his sight. He looked like he belonged there—to the group of privileged snobs, rich brats and high school bullies.

I drank my milk and stared into space. I remembered our first date. He treated me like a princess even though he was blind. It was one of the best times of my life after I lost my family. He made me feel like I mattered to him, that he would always stand by me. Even when he was blind, he saw what was inside me, spoke to my soul… got through to my heart. But now…

Are you going to collide with me every single day throughout the entire school year? Let me know the program, so I’ll be prepared.

It was almost like saying, Stay the hell away from me.

How could he say that when before he left he said, ‘I want to see you smile, as much as I love hearing you laugh… I want to build a future with you… where I can protect you, where I am capable enough to chase your nightmares away’?

Now, he looks at me like the rest of them… like a vermin… like the mere sight of me boils his blood. How could he do that when he said he wanted to see the face of his angel, that he wanted to see me the way that I saw him?

How can everything be upside down and inside out? For more than a year… I have our love as my refuge. I have the hopes of his return to hold on to. That it doesn’t matter what the other kids in school say or do to me. Because Hunter’s love was enough for me to move on and live each day with a smile. But now… what have I got?

Tears rolled down my cheeks and I wiped them before anybody could notice. I took a sip of my milk. Just then, somebody shoved a tray with an apple on it in front of me.

I stared up and saw Chaise sit on the empty chair beside me.

“Milk is not enough,” he said. He settled his tray on the table. “Just yesterday you have a headache. I don’t want you to get sick.”

I smiled at his thoughtfulness. “You really make a great guardian angel,” I teased him.

“That, I am!” he said dryly. “Unfortunately, I would rather be called your boyfriend.”

I sighed.

Here we go again!

“Chaise…”

“I know!” He heaved a frustrated sigh. “You can’t, right?”

I nodded.

“Alice… why not? Is it me? Is something wrong with me, you couldn’t like me?”

“I like you,” I said. “Just not…”

“Not like me, like me,” he finished for me, sighing heavily again.

I bit my lip. God knows how loveable Chaise could be. He was really handsome, like a model who stepped out of the covers of a magazine. He was sweet and funny and when he wanted something, he worked hard for it… when he cared about something, he did everything to protect it. I should have fallen in love with him already. But I couldn’t. I was in love with somebody else. Remembering the shattering pain inside my chest, I realized that I was still in love with that person.

“Chaise… you’re so good to me,” I said. “Even with the way I look, you still liked me. But… I can’t.”

He raised a brow. Then this eyes went to my chest, where my necklace was.

“There’s someone else?” he asked.

I didn’t want to hurt him, but I also wanted to be honest with him. I nodded slightly.

“Where is he?”

About twenty feet behind us.

I wanted to tell him. But I didn’t know how to. I didn’t even know if Hunter was still the same person he was when he was blind. As I heard laughter coming from the table where Hunter was… I realized that he belonged there. With the charmed ones. He was, after all, a golden boy before he lost his sight. And he wasn’t blind anymore, so it was easy to go back to old habits. Maybe that guy who loved me was never coming back. Because the guy who looked at me with annoyance a while ago… that wasn’t my Hunter. They look alike, but my Hunter would be strong enough to fight for me, and would see that something in me was worth loving.

“He’s… gone,” I replied in a weak voice.

Chaise stared at me for a moment and then he whispered, “Then babe… get him out of your heart, so I could come in.”

I felt for Chaise at that moment. I wished it was that easy. I wished my heart had a switch button that I could turn off for one guy and on for another.

I reached out for Chaise’s hand and squeezed it. “I’m sorry, Chaise.” Tears were beginning to well up in my eyes. I didn’t want to cry, but since Hunter’s return, I had been feeling emotional.

Chaise sighed and pulled his hand away. “Hey!” he said in a soothing voice. He cupped my face between his hands. “Don’t cry, babe. I’ll be okay. As long as you let me care for you and love you… even as a friend. That’s good enough. Who knows? Maybe one day you’ll wake up and realize that… you’re in love with me already.” He grinned smugly. “It’s not like your ex-boyfriend is around to make you feel otherwise, anyway.”

I bit my lip.

If only you knew.

“You say it like you’re hoping for a miracle.”

Chaise smiled at me bitterly. “When it comes to you, I don’t believe in miracles anymore,” he said. “I rely on them… like my life depended on them.”

“Chaise…” I whispered. I didn’t know what to say really. I felt both guilty and sad. But I couldn’t lie to him. I couldn’t force myself to fall for him. I couldn’t even force myself to forget Hunter.

We heard loud laughter from the center where I knew Hunter was sitting in with the rest of the ‘beautiful ones’. But shortly after, we heard a commotion. We turned around to see what it was about. Everybody froze. I felt like time was frozen. The only ones moving were Hunter and Don Winston.

Hunter held Don by the collar, then he swung his arm and his fist connected with Don’s jaw. Then he pushed him to the table.

Hunter turned around and walked away without a word. Everybody was shocked, everybody felt scared. They expected Don to fight back, but he was only looking at Hunter like he had no idea what just happened.

Hunter had a furious look on his face. He glanced at my direction and our eyes met. He raised a brow and then he turned away, shaking his head slightly. Then he pushed the cafeteria door open with a strong force.