Wingless and Beautiful

Chapter Thirteen

When he pulled away, I was left breathless… complete and empty at the same time. I felt like I didn’t want to let him go… because the minute I did… I might never get to hold him again… see him again… or kiss him again.

It was then that I realized how I really felt about Hunter. If a guy could make you feel happy and sad… full and empty… complete and broken… all at the same time… I didn’t have to be a genius like him to know what was happening to me. I realized, I’ve just made myself vulnerable to him. I’ve completely fallen in love with him.

Somebody coughed behind us. I turned around and saw Meredith looking at me.

“Your aunt?” Hunter whispered behind me.

“Yes.”

“I would like to meet her,” he said.

I took his hand and guided him towards Meredith.

“Mer… this is Hunter. Hunter, this is Meredith, my aunt.”

Hunter extended his hand and waited for my aunt to shake it. “It was a pleasure to meet you, Meredith.”

“Pleasure is all mine, Hunter.” Meredith smiled. “I’m glad that somebody is making my niece smile these days.”

“She not only makes me smile, she taught me how to laugh again too,” Hunter said, smiling at her politely.

“Well, we better go. I have an early start tomorrow,” Meredith said. “I’ll wait for you in the car,” she said to me and then she turned to Hunter. “Nice meeting you, Hunter.”

“Same here, ma’am,” Hunter said.

I turned to him. “So… I need to go.”

His face turned sober. And then he nodded. He pulled me to him and gave me a tight hug. Then he kissed my forehead and then my lips. One kiss. But it felt like he wanted it to last forever.

I was breathless again when I pulled away from him. “I’ll see you.”

He nodded. “Take care, angel.”

“You too.”

Then I hopped inside Meredith’s car. Hunter was still standing at the parking lot even when Meredith drove away. And somehow, I couldn’t help my heart breaking at the sight of the widening distance between us. I turned away and faced the road sadly.

“You’re in love with him, aren’t you?” Meredith asked.

I sighed. “I think so.”

“He’s cute! No… he’s, I don’t know how kids your age call it these days… but we usually score from one to ten. And that boy, Alice… is a perfect ten.”

“We still score that way. For me, he’s actually a twelve. And I’m not even accounting the looks yet,” I said, looking out the window, missing Hunter already.

***

The next afternoon, I went back to CRC. I couldn’t wait to see Hunter again. Yesterday, I was unsuccessful with the job-hunting thing. Today, I planned to put a bright smile on my face first and then I’ll go job-hunting again tomorrow.

But when I got to CRC, Hunter was not waiting for me at the steps. He must have gone to the garden already. However, when I got to our place, he wasn’t there either. I felt extremely disappointed. I never went to this garden and not find him sitting on the bench or pacing back and forth in front of it… because he was eagerly waiting for me. But today… something was different. And somehow, I have this nagging feeling that… something was not right.

At the table, there was a small wooden box. I picked it up nervously, my hands were trembling. Somehow, I knew it was for me. Nobody else came to this place but the two of us.

I opened the box, and found a small recording device. It had a post-it on it that read ‘Play me’, in crooked lines. My heart immediately broke because I knew the clumsy handwriting was Hunter’s effort to write something without actually seeing. I also have a feeling that whatever was on the tape… was his way of saying goodbye.

I took a deep breath and pressed play. After a while, I heard his soothing voice speak to me… like he was just sitting here beside me.

“Angel, I’m sorry. I had to make a quick decision to leave and take my chances. When I came to this place, I planned to stay here for as long as my father could pay the bills. I thought this would be my jail, my hell… for the rest of my life. I had no intention of going back to my old life… or living my life at all.

“But when you came… you taught me how to smile again. You reminded me of the things I loved about my life. You touched me in ways that I never thought possible. You gave me the warmth, comfort and hope that I never thought I needed.

“You gave me a new reason to live for… a new reason to want to wake up in the morning and see the light. You gave my life a new meaning… a new reason to get out of the darkness where I found refuge in for so many months.

“Because of you… I want to see again. I want to take care of you. I want to see you smile, as much as I love hearing you laugh. I want to build a future with you… where I can protect you, where I am capable enough to chase your nightmares away.

“This is not goodbye. I know we will see each other again. And when that time comes… I will be able to see the beautiful face of my angel.

“Can you do something for me? Can you write a diary for me? Write on it every day until we see each other again? Because when I come back, I would want to know everything I missed about you… about what happened to your life while I was gone. When I come back… I would be able to read your diary, angel. I would be whole again… and strong enough to protect you, take care of you… live for you.

“I have something for you. I enclosed it with this letter. I hope you wear it. And think about me every day… because I, for certain, would think about you every day of my life until we see each other again.

“You never told me how you felt about me. I guess I’m gonna have to wait until I get back to know for sure. But I want you to know… without a doubt… I love you, angel.

“I didn’t say it in front of you before because I want to be able to see your face when I do. I never said that to anybody before. I never felt as strongly for anyone. But now… it’s one of the reasons why I wanted to see again… if only to see the reaction on your face when I say those words to you.

“You will always be my angel… and I hope one day, I could be yours.”

Tears were rolling down my cheeks. I struggled to breathe and I was cursing myself. I should have come earlier. I should have been with him the whole day yesterday. If only I knew that it was our last day, I would have spent most of it with him. I wouldn’t have wanted that day to end. I would have kissed him a million times and memorized how to it feels. I should have taken a picture of him, so I could look at his face every night before I go to bed.

I should have told him how I really felt about him. Because I loved him too! While he was doing what was needed to be done to get his vision back… he should have that to hold on to. He deserved to know that I would be waiting for him to come back to me. And even if he couldn’t see again… I would still stay with him… and love him. That I didn’t care if he was blind… he was still capable of protecting me… he already chased my nightmares away. And that was enough… he was enough.

Inside the box, I found a gold necklace. The pendant was a shape of a guitar pick. It was gold with the letters ‘H & A’ engraved on it. At the back, something was engraved in Braille. I didn’t know how to read Braille but I had a feeling I knew what it meant. Three lines. First line had one character. The second line had four. And the last line had three.

I sat on the bench and raised my knees up to my chin. I hugged my legs… wishing that it was Hunter’s arms that were wrapped around me now… just like yesterday and the days before.

He said he would give everything just to see my face. Well, right now, I would give everything just to have him with me again. Here. Now.

Thinking about him and calling out his name in my head… I did the only thing I could do… I let all the tears go.