Why do I keep attracting Villainesses?

Chapter 30

Chapter 30.

Artria turned to look at me, her eyes tired and full of doubt.

"Don’t forget, you guys have a secret weapon on your side," I said, puffing out my chest and looking as confident as I possibly could. " If I wanted to, I could become far bigger than any one of those guys, remember?"

For a tiny second, Artria’s eyes brightened. I could see a spark of hope there, like she was imagining me in my shark form tearing through the packs and saving her people.

But that light didn’t stay long. Her expression quickly turned gloomy again, and she looked away from me.

"And what if you become the next problem after they’ve all left?" she asked softly.

I knew exactly what she was talking about. She was referring to what would happen if my bloodlust consumed me completely.

If I went into one of those red rages, I wouldn’t be a "secret weapon" for the village; I would be another monster they had to deal with.

I hadn’t mentioned that part out loud, but even I was worried about it.

The only reason I hadn’t lost control up until now was because of the safety of the village.

Artria and Garin had warned everyone to keep the area clean, and the healers had been extra careful to patch me up without letting blood spread.

I had been living in a bubble.

But if I were to join the hunters in warding off those sharks, things would change.

It was inevitable that I would run into blood.

Whether it was the sharks’ blood or my own, the scent would be everywhere.

’If I’m to continue living on my own, away from her, I need to learn how to control it myself,’ I thought.

I couldn’t stay hidden in a room forever, and I couldn’t rely on that woman to keep my mind straight.

I had to face the beast inside me.

’There’s no way I can learn without failing a few times,’ I told myself, trying to stay brave.

"If that were to ever happen," I said, looking her right in the eye, "then I’ll simply knock myself out this time around."

" I’ll smash my head against a trench or do whatever it takes to stop myself before I hurt anyone."

Artria blinked in surprise. She clearly hadn’t expected me to be this serious about the whole thing.

She stared at me, trying to see if I was joking, but my face stayed grave.

"And what if you can’t?" she asked. Her voice was flat, devoid of its usual sass.

"What if you’re too far gone to hit a rock? What if you turn on Garin or me or everyone else?"

I took a deep breath. I had thought about this while I was lying in bed recovering. I knew the risk I was taking by stepping out into a fight.

"Then kill me."

"W-What?!" she blurted out in shock.

She was so surprised she actually stood up on her tail, her fins fluttering rapidly.

She looked at me like I had just grown a second head.

"I know the risks involved in this," I said, my voice steady and stern.

I stood up as well, making sure to match her height.

I reached out and took her hands in mine, clasping them firmly. "But I’d rather not live at all than live a life in constant fear of my own self."

" I don’t want to be a ticking time bomb waiting to hurt the people who saved me."

I looked down at her hands. They were soft and small compared to mine, but I knew how strong she was.

"So please... promise me you’ll be the one to do it if that ever happens. If I lose my mind and I can’t come back, don’t hesitate. End it."

I forced a light smile onto my face. I meant it.

As I held her hands, I couldn’t help thinking that going out like that wouldn’t be so bad.

If she was the one to do it, at least I’d die seeing a friendly face. Maybe then I’d return to my original world, back to my normal life.

Or maybe I’d finally just get to rest in peace for once. Anything was better than becoming a mindless killer.

"Do you even know what you’re asking?!" she said. Her voice was rising, and she sounded genuinely alarmed.

"Yes. I do."

"Idiot! Do you value your life so little?!"

She suddenly ripped her hands out of mine and swam back a few feet, putting space between us.

She was glaring at me now, her face turning red with an irritated look that I didn’t quite understand.

’I don’t understand. Why is she reacting like this?’ I thought to myself.

This was the first time I’d seen her this angry at me, even angrier than when we first met at the reef.

I thought I was being noble, but she looked like she wanted to slap me again.

"If you’re looking to die, do it yourself!" she yelled. "Don’t go dragging me into your suicidal thoughts! Do you have any idea how much work it was to fix you up? Do you know how many people helped you just to have you stand here and talk about dying?"

" Do you have any idea how many of us just want to see you happy?! To live a normal life, to wake up every day and see you?!"

"Artria, that’s not what I meant—"

"No! You know what! If you even think of dying during this, I’ll make sure to kill you myself, understand!"

She let out a loud, frustrated breath, her shoulders shaking.

She didn’t wait for me to explain or apologize.

She turned around and swam out of the nest as fast as she could, her blue tail disappearing into the village tunnels.

I was left floating there in the middle of the room, completely confused. I had tried to give her a way out, a way to protect her village from me if things went wrong, but all I had done was make her furious.

I looked down at my hands, which were still warm from holding hers.

’ .... Maybe I was in the wrong this time?’ I muttered to the empty room. Even when I wasn’t sure what I did to make her that angry.

I understood that it was wrong for me to think of dying without repaying my depth, but was it normal for her to get so angry?

She sounded like she was talking about something else, which made me even more confused.

In this life the only one I’d lived with was that woman and even in my past life, I’d lived a lone, I never really got to understand much about others.

The same way I couldn’t understand why the heroines of the story all chose to stay with the protagonist of the knight of blood and war.

This was a first for me.

I sat back down on the sea-plant bed, feeling a mix of guilt and determination.

She might be mad, but I wasn’t changing my mind about helping.

If the village was going to starve, I was going to fight those sharks, whether she liked my "deal" or not.

I just hoped that when the time came, I’d be strong enough to keep the shark in check so she wouldn’t have to make that choice.

I swam outside to get some fresh air and clear my head. The talk with Artria had left me feeling uncomfortable.

I needed to move, feel the cool water rushing over my skin, and to clear my thoughts.

The village was quiet, the light from the glowing stones on the walls casting long, soft shadows against the sandy ground.

On my way through it, I ran into a few other villagers. They were quite happy to see me up and about.

It was still a bit weird to me. I was used to being the servant, But here, people looked at me with smiles.

A younger mermaid with a bright blue tail waved at me as she swam past, and an older merman nodded his head in a respectful way.

Fortunately for me, word about my recovery had already gone around.

" My, I never expected him to recover so soon."

" It’s truly a miracle he’s back in full health."

" For a shark he sure is impressive."

I heard a few whispers as I passed, but they weren’t mean.

They sounded more like they were impressed.

I guess healing from those kinds of wounds in just a few days wasn’t exactly a normal thing, even here in a village of supernatural creatures.

I stretched my arms out as I swam, feeling the strength in my muscles.

The pain was gone, replaced by a restless energy that made me want to do something, anything.

While swimming through the village center, I saw a group of mermen swimming out of the village.

They all seemed alert with stern looks on their faces as if preparing for something.