Who Needs a Relationship When You Have a Cat?

Chapter 49

“Meow~”The Younger Brother’s Wife he was talking about called out from the floor, but Kong Fugui didn’t even notice.

Seeing it was Kong Fugui, Ai Qing at the dining table rolled his eyes. “She’s not here, stop looking.”

It wasn’t that she wasn’t here—Kong Fugui just couldn’t imagine that the Younger Brother’s Wife he was craning his neck to find had already opened the door for him and was now padding back toward Ai Qing’s feet.

“Seriously?” Kong Fugui stepped inside, dubious. “You’ve only lived here a month or two. At New Year’s you were single; this should be the honeymoon phase when you two are stuck together like glue.”

“It’s Sunday. Logic says she’d be spending the day with you. How can she not be here?”

While he talked, Kong Fugui made himself at home: swapped his shoes for slippers, did a lap of the living-room. “Really not here?”

“You talk too much.” Ai Qing stood up, collecting plates. “Spit it out or shut up.”

“Oh, Sis Qian said the cat-trap she ordered arrived. Weren’t you the one who asked her to buy it?” Kong Fugui grinned. “Never caught a cat before; came to watch the show.”

“That thing.” Ai Qing finally clicked. “Not even sure we’ll need it. Grandma’s regulars are tame; we could probably grab them by hand.”

“Better safe,” came a voice from the door. Xiao Youqian walked in. “Even friendly strays can panic. One swipe and you’re scratched to ribbons. And they’re not vaccinated—claws carry all kinds of bugs.”

“If we want fewer surgery risks, I’d vaccinate first, neuter later.”

When Xiao Youqian entered, Kong Fugui glanced at Ai Qing, then at the table, and parked himself between her and the doorway while helping carry the dishes to the kitchen.

“Head out now?” Ai Qing asked. “I’ll wash up when we’re back.”

“Let’s go.” Xiao Youqian stayed on the doorstep, arms folded. “Sooner we trap, sooner we’re done. Every catch is revenue for the pet hospital.”

“Fine. Let’s move.”

Ai Qing looked down at Xiao Yu. “Guard the house, Xiao Yu. Treats when I’m back.”

Xiao Youqian went ahead to call the elevator. Ai Qing and Kong Fugui toed into their shoes; just as Ai Qing reached the door, Kong Fugui hooked an arm around his neck.

“Aren’t you going to thank me?”

“Huh?” Ai Qing blinked.

“Hidden beauty in a golden house, bro. I ran interference; Sis Qian didn’t notice a thing.” He winked. “That’s what buddies are for.”

“I told you she isn’t here.”

“Eating lunch alone, were you?”

“Yeah.”

“Yet there are two sets of bowls and chopsticks?” Kong Fugui patted his shoulder, sage-like, and glided away. “Say no more. I get it.”

Ai Qing opened his mouth, found no comeback, and settled for, “...You’ve got hawk-eyes, man.”

......

A cat-trap is exactly what it sounds like: a long cage, entrance wider than a pet carrier, length of two or three adult cats. You bait the far end with snacks, wait. When the cat’s full weight hits the treadle, the door slams shut. Safer than chasing, but it demands patience—strays are suspicious. Still, hunger usually wins; it’s only a matter of time.

Which made the scene in Ai Qing’s courtyard slightly absurd.

“So why did we bring this thing?” Kong Fugui squatted, watching Lang Xiangying lift Xiao Yu into a carrier with either hand. “That’s a stray? Looks like a sofa cushion with paws.”

“Why am I even here?” Wu Yong muttered. “To watch you box cats?”

“How was I supposed to know they’d volunteer!” Kong Fugui complained. “I wanted the thrill of the hunt.”

“They trust Grandma,” Xiao Youqian laughed, tapping Big Orange’s forehead through the grille. “But this guy’s obese. Board him, put him on a diet, or anesthesia during neutering gets risky.”

“Meow-wow!”

Big Orange, crammed tight, couldn’t even turn around.

“What about Sheriff and Taikun?” Ai Qing asked. “Vaccines first?”

“Since they’re mellow, yeah—two shots, then neuter later.” Xiao Youqian straightened. “We can still practise with the trap; plenty of skittish cats in the complex.”

“Now you’re talking!” Kong Fugui hoisted the cage and waved Ai Qing and Wu Yong over. “Let’s go!”

“I’ll take these three to the hospital for their shots,” Grandma said, settling the bill. “See you later.”

......

Five p.m. The three men marched back, trap as empty as it had been at lunch.

“What did we achieve?” Wu Yong sighed. “Zero catches.”

“They bolt the second they see us,” Kong Fugui groaned.

Ai Qing returned the cage, deadpan. “You kept relocating it every ten minutes. No patience, no rabbit by the stump.”

“I don’t even chase girls this hard,” Kong Fugui shot back, checking his watch. “Evening free? Internet café.”

“I’ll check on the cats first.” Ai Qing headed inside and found Grandma.

Lang Xiangying was babysitting the three regulars. Taikun, the slim one, sported two cute black moustache tufts. Sheriff was solid muscle—stocky, not fat—like a feline bouncer. Big Orange, beside him, was a blimp whose belly fur was beyond his own tongue’s reach.

“Post-check-up and first vaccines, Sheriff and Taikun need two more boosters before surgery,” Xiao Youqian explained. “Big Orange stays till he shrinks into Medium Orange.”

Ai Qing rubbed the blob’s belly. None of the cats realized the clock above them was already ticking.

“I’ll take these two home; leave the orange balloon here,” Grandma said, paid, and left.

Ai Qing turned to Xiao Youqian. “We three are hitting the café—”

“I’m in.”

“Who’ll mind the clinic?”

“I’m the boss, not the staff.” She locked up. “Let’s go.”

Outside, Kong Fugui narrowed his eyes. “Why is she coming? You know how bad she is.”

“A girl willing to game with us isn’t enough?” Xiao Youqian raised an eyebrow.

“I’d rather hire a carry—skilled, chatty, guaranteed chicken dinner,” Kong Fugui retorted, “not a walking loot-box who screams at every gunshot.”