novelraw Chapter 162: L O O K
Chapter 162: L O O K
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Emma
I blinked once.
Just once.
And that’s when it all changed.
Not just my surroundings, not just my vision, not even the constant compression of the undersuit against my skin and the overbearing presence of the tactical info-suite… but my very sensibilities.
One blink had taken me from the utter precipice of dread into what was possibly its polar opposite — calm.
An overbearing feeling of calm, set against an acute awareness of apprehension and disorientation.
My gut told me that everything was alright, that my floating here, armorless, suitless, motionless in a featureless void, was acceptable. Whilst my mind, my prefrontal cortex with all of its rational sensibilities, screamed at me, telling me that something was wrong.
I was floating, but with none of the feedback that water or vacuum provided.
I was present, yet my body felt more like an afterthought than the physical manifestation of my sense of self that should have been second nature.
The world around me was absent, not just muted or empty like in water or space, respectively, but absolutely nonexistent.
There were no tells, no resistance against my ‘motions’ as with water, or tiny pinpricks of light — let alone the ever-present sensation of an EVA suit — as would’ve been the case in space.
There was just… nothing.
And somehow, against all rational thought… my gut told me I was fine.
Each passing… ‘moment,’ however, brought with it a gnawing sense of realization, as if there was a truth just out of reach, or at the tip of my tongue, that I couldn’t properly address.
It felt like the gnawing realizations of a burgeoning lucid dream. The implicit understanding that the experiences at present were all but a fleeting fantasy, an impossible reality with nonsensical rules and utterly ludicrous assumptions that all gave way to a simple conclusion — this was all in my head, which meant I could easily take control.
But I didn’t.
Or perhaps I couldn’t.
Because as with many lucid dreams, despite knowing and palpably feeling the wrongness of it all, you still felt like a part of it. Or at the very least, trapped within its logic.
This dichotomy persevered, ebbing and flowing between gut instinct and rational thought until finally they reached an uncomfortable equilibrium, one that manifested alongside my bearings of this featureless void.
Finally, perhaps owing to my adapting vision, I started to make out the basic landmarks of this impossible space.
A horizon finally came into focus — this thin stretch of blacks barely dissimilar in hue to the rest, stretching into a facsimile of a sky painted not with colors or the lack of them, but simply varying intensities of dark.
Then came the ground, or what passed for it anyways — a thin puddle of what looked and felt like liquid metal, perfectly reflecting the dark around it and, by extension, me.
I began pacing, each barefoot step causing neither ripples nor currents to form, further cementing this sort of disconnect between my physical form and this formless world around me.
I tried crouching, kneeling closer, and putting my face right up against the edge of this infinite puddle, finding not a single imperfection or flaw in this… impossible simulation.
Throughout it all, and my frankly child-like curiosities at the impossible space, my rational mind screamed at me.
WHERE WERE WE?!
HOW WERE WE OUT OF THE SUIT?
WHY AREN’T WE DEAD?
WHAT EVEN IS THIS PLACE?
HOW DO WE GET OUT?!
Yet somehow, the panic brewing in my higher thoughts never trickled down to my conscious present, its realizations merely existing as flavor text against the sense of calm that never once dissipated.
This disconnect between the rational and emotional started expanding, as the more I explored, the more I felt eerily… at peace.
I didn’t know how to describe it.
It was as if I was finally sitting down after remaining on my feet for decades.
It felt as if my very soul had been released from my body, and the endless heights of the sensations I felt now were granted by the unshackling of gravity.
So lost was I in both thought and motion that I didn’t even realize when I’d sat down. It was only when I looked up, cross-legged and motionless, that I finally regained my bearings.
And that was only because I started to notice another presence, one that was eerily missing before but had finally formed following the introduction of the barest of light sources in the ‘skies’ above.
It was my reflection, directly beneath me in the pool of dark and liquid metal.
My rational mind yelled at me to use this to my advantage, reciting protocol and shouting for self-assessments, which only translated to the barest of motions as I began inspecting my bare skin for nicks, cuts, or marks, but finding nothing.
My reflection followed as I used it to my best ability, now better orienting myself following this newfound development.
And so I began walking, pacing, one half of my vision locked onto the horizon and the ‘skies’ above, and the other half keeping track of the ground, courtesy of the reflection beneath me.
I kept up this casual pace, this nonchalant stroll, my panics fading into the back of my mind, as time itself felt more like an afterthought than a pressing concern.
Weariness never overcame me; tiredness felt as lost to reality as time itself.
But throughout it all, several constants remained.
The world remained perpetually still, the waters impossibly calm, and reality itself as colorless as it was formless save for my reflection, which followed me dutifully.
I took a moment, after who knows how long of walking, to stop.
Not to rest, not out of any physical strain, but instead a reflexive obligation to a mind that told me that it needed it.
It was around this point that my fixations grew over the only truly dynamic presence in the space that wasn’t me.
The reflection.
I watched the confused expression that stared back at me, at the perfectly mimed motions of a being clearly not of this plane.
I continued this almost childlike exercise into futility until I suddenly heard a familiar voice.
Emma!
My mind racked itself for a moment.
Then, it felt like a whole life’s worth of memories flooded back in an instant.
My higher thoughts returned, and so did the pressing concerns of the present.
Following which, I moved to stand up, darting my eyes every which way in an attempt to find the source of that voice… only to be met with an even more hair-raising ‘voice’ that clued me into the reality of the situation.
ALERT! ACUTE EPILEPTIFORM DISCHARGES NOTED IN EEG!
GENERALIZeeeddd… se i z …
ACTIVATING EMERGENCY MEDICAL PROTOCOLS
AIRWAY PROTECTION AND EMERGENCY MEDICAL IMMOBILIZA…t .. .t io … n …
The voice of the EVI spoke in a heightened state of distress, going in and out of the stillness of this impossible plane, as if attempting to break through the haze.
This forced my breath, for the first time since I found myself here, to hitch up in panic.
Panic and anxiety returned in spades, these feelings clashing with a world that refused to acknowledge the very concepts.
My pacing grew, as did the wariness mirrored in my reflection.
However, hope grew closer and closer the more I ran towards the voices in question as they grew louder with each passing step.
That was when I noticed something different as I looked down for a split second to see my reflection following me… but refusing to move.
Its arms were crossed, and its whole body sat cross-legged despite my own frantic motions.
Yet it was dragged along all the same, like an unwitting projection perfectly matching my pace but no longer my motions.
I ignored it, instead focusing all of my attention on maintaining my pace, frantically sprinting at this point towards voices so clear I could practically feel their breaths on the back of my neck.
Finally, at what felt like the threshold, an ‘exit’ marked with nothing but a hunch and a vibe, did I find my voice returning to me.
“THALMI—”
SPLASH!
But it was clear I wasn’t the only one to have cheated the eternal ataraxy, as I now felt a presence, a vice grip on my ankle.
My heart stopped.
And I found myself frozen again, this time out of pure and unadulterated fear.
I took a steady breath, or I tried to, not realizing I hadn’t taken a consistent series of breaths this entire time.
Then, and with a clench of both fists, did I reluctantly crane my neck backwards and downwards.
There, I saw it.
A hand.
My hand.
Piercing through the perfectly reflective pool of liquid, wrapping tightly around my ankle.
My gaze was quick to lock onto the rest of the doppelganger, my heart pumping harder and harder as I saw the rest of its form fading into the nothingness of the depths beneath the puddle, further muddying the logic and geometry of this… purgatory of a world.
But it was its face.
That expression on it.
It was the sheer stillness that never once gave way to anything else that truly sent me over the edge.
Especially when those eyes began to shift from my own brown pupils to something resembling the abyss that replaced the shatorealmer’s eyes.
I couldn’t move.
And this time, I couldn’t tell if it was fear that was doing it or something else entirely.
…
Its vice grip soon loosened.
Then, after what felt like another eternity, the doppelganger smiled.
…
Fear and calm both disappeared.
Instead, a certain sense of… detachment took hold; a removal of all worries and the earthly attachments that came with it.
It felt… more surreal than surreality itself.
But this 'bliss,' this weird serenity of the mind from its worldly attachments, lasted for scarcely a second in the eternity of this place.
Very soon, much to the bemusement of the doppelganger, would my curiosity return. This very worldly drive for answers eventually took the spot that fear, calm, and bliss had once reigned.
The doppelganger eventually pulled its hand back beneath the waterline, its voluntary withdrawal causing the reflective liquid metal to harden, turning into a solid, glassy surface. Following which, it proceeded to place both hands against the glass, palms-open, as if peering into the other side of an aquarium.
Those eyes that’d just sent me into a frenzy now treated me to something completely different— that same sense of awe that bordered on dread but never outright fear.
Calm returned to me, of my own volition this time, as something inside both my rational mind and gut instinct told me to give… whatever this was a chance.
It… could’ve very easily dragged me down earlier, after all. It had all the opportunities and every chance to simply dominate this headspace that I ultimately had little say or autonomy in. But instead, it chose to remain separate, grabbing me only to garner my attention.
Or at least I assumed so.
Click! TAAPP! Click! Click!
I looked down once again, only to find the doppelganger tapping its finger against the puddle-turned-glass.
Silence soon followed, but only punctuating the next few deliberate strikes.
Three more deliberately slow ‘taps’ in rapid succession.
Then silence.
Followed by three more.
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And then finally a shift.
A slow tap followed by a quick click and another slow tap.
My confusion persisted but was quickly assuaged as the doppelganger simply gestured for me to look upwards.
It was there, after squinting at the varying ‘degrees’ of dark, that the whole ‘plane’ I found myself in erupted in a flurry of colors everywhere, all at once.
I… I was witnessing the birth of a universe.
But in that birth, I saw something else.
I noted a darkness, a lingering splotch of dark that stubbornly refused to change.
And it was in that splotch of darkness that I could swear I saw something stirring.
TAP! TAP! TAP! TAP!
Dragon’s Lair. Central Cavern ‘Foyer.’ Local Time: 0100 Hours.
Thalmin
It all happened so quickly.
Emotions, which were already running high as is, reached its absolute zenith in several rapid motions.
First came the complete and utter incredulity at this rare line of communication being severed.
…
At the most inopportune of moments at that.
Then came the sudden shift to concern, as Kaelthyr reared back in a motion that betrayed the pain and shock that’d overcome her.
My heart sank.
My veins abruptly filled with ice.
This… reaction, this visceral cry of unabashed pain from a dragon of all beings, was just about as bad of a sign as could be.
My thoughts raced to security, to a potential incursion by some Nexian blackthorn who’d since spotted and was quick to end this short-lived venture into rebellion through an illicit line of status communicatia.
I reached for Emberstride, drawing her without a second’s hesitation.
…
But nothing came.
I scried the area for intruders, for any would-be interloper, both corporeal and not.
…
But again, I saw, felt, heard, and smelled nothing.
Confusion was quick to join the litany of conflicting emotions but was as abruptly subsumed by an entirely new feeling — panic.
I watched and observed, with both manasight and instincts, as the room flooded with taint.
I had to pace back just to avoid consumption, leaping back what felt like several leagues before finally landing on an outcropping where I was finally able to see the source of this taint incursion.
Then, it was dread, pure and unadulterated dread, that filled my soul as I watched the shatorealmer’s eyes glow with darkness.
I stared on with terror at Emma’s sheer proximity to that deadly force, as all seemed fine at first, and Kaelthyr’s own remarks on Emma’s surprising resistance to taint took to the forefront once more.
However, all those reassurances could not change the reality of the situation. As I witnessed, in short order, Emma suddenly fell back-first, her helmeted head rearing backwards and held taut in an unnatural position.
“EMMA!”
Fear, anguish, and every possible worst bookend slammed me with the force of an unrelenting gale.
My heart skipped a beat, then another, as I wasted no time in locking eyes with the undeniable source of this incursion.
Hesitation never once came over me as I raised my palm; without any delay, my soul poised to deliver a most righteous end to this heinous beast.
FWOO-ZAP-CRACK!
I ended him rightly.
The cave walls erupted in a flurry of fire and fury so immense that it left a trail of permanently seared stone as a testament to the path of death leading to a now-eviscerated shatorealmer, a being whose traces now lay scattered amidst the floor, walls, and ceiling of the room.
Though no more charred and blackened soot than anything else.
The incursion of taint, however, lingered for a split second longer.
But only a split second.
As it eventually, as taint often did, simply dissipated, crushed and overwhelmed by the nascent manastreams ready to bring order to chaos.
It was here that a second’s hesitation returned to the forefront, if only to ensure that the taint had well and truly dissipated.
For what good would rescue be if the unwitting heroes die at the foot of the injured?
…
“EMMA!” I bellowed out, leaping down and landing just short of her still form.
It was there, at the foot of her completely unresponsive body, that I realized I had no means of helping her further.
All my healing magics, limited as they were, were useless.
All of my training, my understanding of battlefield healing, could only inform me of a likely truth.
Touching, or moving, or doing anything to her motionless state… could actually incur more harm than good.
This growing discordance, this heightened turbulence, eventually culminated in me addressing the only other being who may have a clue as to what the next appropriate step should be.
“Matriarch! Matriarch, you have to get up! You have to tend to Emma immediately!” I demanded.
The convalescing dragon, however, seemed more dazed and confused than helpful, as she simply shook her head violently in response, as if trying to regain her bearings.
“Do you… not see… the state of affairs, princeling?” The dragon responded, though her speech, her 'voice,' had changed drastically in the ensuing seconds.
“I do. And we must expedite—”
“I know not… how.” The dragon countered.
It now felt as if she was speaking through the winds themselves, the cave walls echoing and the crystals resonating with her voice without a definitive start nor end.
For no longer was she speaking through her own throat, nor the throat of some fallen corpse, but instead… the very air itself.
I took a deep breath, the unwelcome feeling of helplessness coming to dominate my consciousness.
…
But not before another thought entered the fray.
“Then we must send her home.”
“What?”
“You were able to open a line of communication back to her realm! Surely, a dragon such as you, must be able to pierce the veil in a manner that mere elves can—”
“Cease with your foolishness, princeling! CEASE!” Kaelthyr practically growled out with a whistling gale. “Do you not hear yourself speak?!”
“I… I do, but what other option do we have—”
“We must wait for fate.”
“What?”
“If she truly is what I, and surely you, assume her to be, then we must wait.”
“I don’t—”
“The prophecy you speak of — the harbingers of death and doom to the Nexus — it is but one part of the tale, is it not?”
My eyes darted back and forth, not wishing to play conversation when my comrade-in-arms lay wasting away.
“Just be out with it, Matriarch!”
“The ‘final confrontation' speaks of this: the arrival of a foreign culture, born of foreign constraints,nurtured in the auspices of foreign patrons…” The dragon paused, as if wishing to emphasize that latter sentiment through silence.
It was at this point that my heart skipped another beat, and my gut churned in dread. “Are you saying that the entity, being, or whatever it is that incurred such a visceral reaction from you, is none other than this ‘patron?’”
“The same presence I felt smothering me and the voidlings during our conference, yes.”
I couldn’t move.
My whole world tensed at the possibility of an entity, a powerful spirit, a god, or… whatever being may exist that possessed the potential to so callously rival dragons in their reach.
But this couldn’t be.
Emma had mentioned nothing of a patron.
These… were merely the musings of Ilunor and Kaelthyr, potentially limiting its reach to a tale of draconic origi—
But even Mal’tory spoke of the same notion, if Emma’s ‘recordings’ of that fateful conversation were anything to be believed.
I shook my head violently, wracking my mind for answers but ending up with even more questions than anything else.
“You may have just killed its proxy emissary by the dispatching of that shatorealmer, princeling.” The dragon teased me with a sly chuckle, causing my grip to tense around Emberstride's hilt.
“Then answer me this, Matriarch. What sort of patron would incur this—” I paused, pointing at Emma’s still form. “—upon its client?!”
“Do you dare to apply your preconceived notions on normalcy. In a circumstance as foreign as this?” Kaelthyr challenged slyly.
And though disparaging in its intent, I couldn’t deny the reasonable logic that backed it.
“This could merely be communion of sorts between voidlings and whatever patron they may have. Though what follows after a forceful severing of said communion, I cannot say.” The dragon continued, now pinning the blame onto me.
“She never spoke of such entities.” I surmised. “If anything, I saved her by preventing further harm.” I then glared daggers at the dragon. “I can say with certainty, however, that I surely have saved you from harm.”
“Choose your next words with exceptional care, princeling.” Kaelthyr hissed.
“By right of honorable conduct, you owe me a debt, Matriarch.” I announced fearlessly… despite fear very much welling within me.
The dragon’s eyes shifted once more, narrowing and piercing my very soul with their enigmatic intent.
“You speak of Expectant Decorum?”
“No, of course not. I know that a being such as yourself eschews such elven trivialities.” I countered.
“Then you speak of the old ways.” Kaelthyr surmised.
“Yes.”
“Then you know well I have no obligation outside of—”
“Honor.”
“An honor amidst mortals.” She countered.
“But honor all the same.” I reasoned, garnering a pause, then an amused smile from the beast.
“You amuse me, princeling.” Kaelthyr acknowledged before promptly nodding. “Go on then, what sort of favor do you wish to call upon.”
“If you cannot open a portal to Earthrealm, then you can at least send the both of us back to the Academy using teleportation magics.” I urged, garnering a wide-eyed glare from the beast. “That I know you can manage, and from there, I may be able to send Emma back by right of—”
“I cannot honor a favor requested in duress.” Kaelthyr countered bluntly. “You know not the implications of what you request, for it will spell the death of us all, princeling.”
I shook my head, reaching both hands around my ears as if in an attempt to physically pull ideas from my—
“Ugh…” A voice, followed by a stirring, emerged from behind us.
I felt relief and a whole mountain’s worth of weights lifting off my shoulders as I ran to Emma’s side with a spell-aided dash.
“Emma!” I hollered. “Emma, are you alright?!”
But instead of any coherent response, all I received was a series of slurred and unintelligible noises, a trend that continued for many, many more painful moments until she finally raised a single hand.
“Am… am fin— Fine…” She finally managed out, just barely. “Me… medicines… causing tired and confuse…”
“I-it’s alright, Emma. Please rest. We can continue this in the morning. We have time. We have time.” I reassured her, grabbing ahold of her hand and squeezing it tight.
“Ok… keep… watch… I’m gonna… pass out…”
9 Hours Later
Dragon’s Lair. Central Cavern ‘Foyer.’ Local Time: 1000 Hours.
Thalmin
Both Kaelthyr and Emma had gone into what I could only describe as a deep hibernation following the start of my sentry.
Indeed, I would have found myself envious of their rest, if not for the horrors both had faced prior to that slumber.
In that time, I found ample opportunity to simply… reflect on the events of the past day.
The clash with Ignalius and the recovery of the crystal were indeed monumental successes in their own right.
But the encounter with Kaelthyr and the rewriting of the Nexian narrative? That was where things truly departed from mere tales of adventure to one of epics, if not mythical heights.
Indeed, I found myself reliving those few monumental hours over and over again with a mix of pride, hope, fear, and ultimately… abashment.
The proposal for Emma’s hand in marriage… was a mistake.
Not just because of Asva — though that thought did weigh on me heavily — but because it was a step too far, and a step far too soon.
And even if my fears were warranted, even if it was clear that the line of communication was indeed at risk of outright collapse, pushing for an agenda as paradigm shifting as that was just… as Kalim would say — a desperate play.
I loathed the conversation that will inevitably come following all of this.
But more than that, I feared what Emma may say about this potential… patron of the void.
If that sort of thing even existed.
…
Sure enough, as these things often went, Emma began stirring the moment I decided to begin unwrapping our rations.
I sprinted towards her once more, making sure I was by her side as she returned to the realm of the living. “Thank the ancestors. You’re finally awake.”
“Aurgh…” Came Emma’s response, as a part of me worried if her condition had not yet improved. “Fuck… I… that was… did that all really—” Emma paused, as if once again returning to her knightly display of stoicism, entertaining some internal reprieve, before addressing me once all was said and done.
“It did… but only so far as the call back home went. Everything else was… it was all in my head? A seizure-induced hallucination?” Emma began babbling, causing me to cock my head in confusion.
“We were indeed able to establish a temporary and illicit line of status communicatia, Emma.” I acknowledged. “Though that is the extent of my own experiences. Immediately following my…” I cleared my throat, looking away in abashment. “... proposal…” I immediately moved away from that topic as quickly as I’d touched on it. “... did we find the line severed. Kaelthyr was subsequently incapacitated, which prompted you to help, but—”
“The shatorealmer.” She interrupted plainly. “And then you…”
“I killed it, yes.” I nodded. “I… apologize if that had in any way interrupted any ‘communion’ with whatever entity you were in audience with—”
“Wait, what? You knew what was happening?” Emma interjected with a growing concern.
“No. All I saw was your own loss of consciousness, followed by a conversation wherein Matriarch Kaelthyr proposed—”
“That you were in the audience of your void patron.” Kaelthyr interrupted with a long growl of a yawn. “Because I now understand what it was that smothered both me and incurred the reactions of your fellow voidlings. It was the presence of a great, unfathomable being from your side of the portal. Not the unintended effects of ‘pressure differences’ between mana and taint, as was proposed by your scholar.”
Emma paused, refusing to continue her train of thought as she placed her helmeted head firmly between two outstretched hands.
“Emma.” I urged softly. “What… what did you see? What exactly happened during your unconscious state?”
Another silence punctuated the tense scene, as Emma merely reached for her belt, connecting her ‘food pouch’ to the ‘rim’ of her mouthpiece.
“I saw nothing.” Emma finally spoke, causing both Kaelthyr and me to glance at each other in tepid disappointment.
“But at the same time… I saw everything.”
That mutual look of disappointment soon turned into abject confusion, as Kaelthyr was quick to urge Emma on. “Elaborate.”
“I… I saw…” She shook her head. “I was in the void. A dark void, a completely barren and empty black. Blacker than even the void I’ve been to back home. I was floating, without my armor, and then suddenly… I saw the horizon. From there, the ground beneath me turned into this thin puddle of water, where I saw my reflection — the only other entity there. And after what felt like years of listlessly existing in that nothingness, I heard your voice. That interruption alone caused the realm of nothingness to start stirring, changing, and reacting to external stimuli completely alien to it. Chief amongst those changes being my reflection. Its eyes shifted to become that of the shatorealmer’s. Then, it tried to communicate to me, and not in the same way the null did, mind you. Because this… this thing? It didn’t feel threatening. If anything, it felt like it wanted to talk. It beckoned me to look at the skies, and when I did, I saw… well… nothing… followed by everything.”
“What exactly do you mean by that, young Matriarch?” Kaelthyr pushed harder, her features already growing more confused by the second at Emma’s disjointed story.
“I… I don’t really remember it clearly, this was about when I was ‘pulled’ out of the whole… dream? Hallucination? Anyways I… I saw an explosion of color, and stars, clusters, and just… everything everywhere. But it was in those stars that I noticed something else it pointed towards. A dark, empty splotch of sky that was seemingly untouched, or perhaps just absent of said vibrancy. I… I don’t know what I saw inside of it, maybe something stirring, maybe nothing at all. But that’s when it all just ended.”
I looked to Kaelthyr now for answers as the dragon seemed to be in deep thought, her eyes squeezed closed as her paws tapped incessantly at the ground. “So you could say… there was a crack in the grand facade?”
Emma nodded slowly at this, all the while cocking her head in confusion. “I… guess? It was just a black splotch where everything else was just bright and vibrant.”
“Then it is as I feared.” The dragon spoke with a growing wariness, the stagnant air of the cave whistling with a palpable apprehension. “This entity, your patron, does not like intrusions into its domain.”